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FAQ's
Get your most pressing Writer's Shack questions answered right here, right now!
We think we like the Bottom Ten. But how come the formats are different? The NCAA one has details on ten teams, while the NFL poll has five detailed entries, then the last five are just one line. What gives?
Two reasons. One, the Bottom Ten involves an immense amount of research and by the time the second half of the NFL Bottom Ten rolls is demanding to be written the Bottom Ten staff is pretty tired of research, honestly, so a couple of years ago we shortened it and started the Caught in the Lint Trap section.
Also, there are only 32 NFL teams - compared to 119 NCAA major division teams - so the last couple-three sometimes aren't too bad, especially towards the end of the season. But mainly it was the time involved.
How much thought goes into where teams are ranked in the Bottom Ten?
As little as we can possibly get away with. Usually they are ranked in the order they are written, though every now and then one or two might have to be shuffled to maintain the integrity of the poll.
What's the deal with those bold faced lines at the beginning of a paragraph?
They're called lead lines, or at least that's what we call them. They are used to get a laugh or make a point or change the subject. If we're really lucky they'll do all three.
A lot of thought probably goes into selecting a lead line, right?
Uh, yeah, as far as you know.
Actually, you'd be surprised. Or maybe you wouldn't. Usually a funny lead line will suggest itself right off the bat. It's rare when we have to sit and stare like an idiot at the screen waiting for inspiration - at least for a lead line.
Isn't that another way of saying you just take whatever comes off the top of your head?
Only if you are very cynical.
Are you sure lead lines aren't just a device to avoid having to work and tie everything together like real writers?
I'm sorry, could you repeat the question?
The Bottom Ten looks suspiciously like a Bottom Ten written ages ago by Steve Harvey of the Los Angeles Times. Are you familiar with it?
Yes. The B-10 pollsters are always pleased to acknowledge the influence of Mr. Harvey's column.
Has Dan Henning checked in with any thoughts about having his name used for the trophy that goes to the NFL Bottom Ten champion?
We haven't heard from Dan. He probably has better things to do, however we bravely concede that unless he's a really funny guy, he probably won't like it.
Can I write for the Writer's Shack?
Probably not. One, if you expect to be paid for your work, be advised the current Writer's Shack pay scale is $0.00/word. Plus, if you want to write about the weekend box office or the latest buzz, we are not for you.
However, if you have a distinctive voice and something to say, we do accept queries.
What's the deal with the Thought for the Day? Have you actually screened these? They're not taken from an Quote of the Day service or anything like that, are they?
No, no, of course not. Be assured that every Thought for the Day has been personally selected by a top Writer's Shack editor from our own private reserve of smart things other people have said or written. Most of these were culled from original source materials, but some we're picked up other places, too.
Did you really write a book?
Yes! Backstairs at the Monte Carlo is a memoir of my time as a security officer at the gorgeous Monte Carlo Hotel and Casino on the Las Vegas Strip. I worked graveyard, when all the psychos are out, too, so it's filled with drunks and hookers and, looking at it as objectively as possible, it may well be the funniest book you will ever read.
This isn't one of the memoirs where stuff's made up is it?
No! Everything happened! Even the porn stars who held me captive for a weekend and the time I saved the Pope's life!
Comments? Recipes? Complaints? Email the Writer's Shack here!
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