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The Daily Dose/January 31, 2009
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
   
Notes fro around the Human Experience...Jennifer Coolidge is, again!, the Column Four Foto!
THE SWORD IS MOST EFFECTIVE WHEN IT IS USED SWIFTLY: The Illinois State Senate removed Rod Blagojevich from the Governor's office Thursday in a close 59-0 vote.
Should We Really Be Surprised? Blagojevich is hardly the first Illinois politician, or even the first Illinois governor, to be scandalized. Illinois seems to be breed vermin like others breed dogs. In a quote stolen from the New York Times, Blagojevich said:
I come out of the alleys of Chicago politics. That's a tough place. The politics there is not motivated by idealism or high purpose. It's nuts and bolts, and you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. I came up that way.
Is This Any Different Than Anywhere Else? No, not really. Blagojevich mere was stupid enough to have been caught trying wheel and deal by a federal wiretap.
Whereas It Is Ordered, Adjudged And Decreed: The actual document announcing Blagojevich's conviction, ouster and disqualification from holding future state offices, titled "Judgment of Conviction and Disqualification" is two pages long and has the usual number of "whereas'" and other official sounding terms you would expect.
Dry, Technical Matter: Special Impeachment Edition: It starts off reviewing the Illinois House's impeachment actions and the Senate's legal authority to conduct the trial, as well as verifying the proceedings were held in accordance with both the Illinois Constitution and the Senate's own impeachment tribunal rules.
It ends by decreeing that Blagojevich was "convicted of Impeachment" and removed from office and was disqualified from ever again holding office in the state. It was signed by Thomas R. Fitzgerald, the Chief Justice of the Illinois Supreme Court and the trial's presiding officer, and was attested by Senate Secretary Deborah Shipley.
Get Out Your History Books: Blagojevich is the seventh US Governor to be removed from office at an impeachment trial, and the first since Arizona's Even Mecham in 1998.
Dry, Technical Matter: Blagojevich is the first governor to be constitutionally removed from office since California's Gray Davis was recalled in 2003.
Oh Yeah: Blagojevich was replaced by Lt. Governor Pat Quinn.
ALL ABOARD THE CARDINAL BANDWAGON, DAMMIT: Official Writer's Shack faves the Arizona Cardinals are wrapping preparations for what will probably be the first of several consecutive Super Bowl appearances with more charity work in the Tampa-St. Petersburg area.
Meanwhile, the Pittsburgh Steelers managed to bail out their players that had been arrested on warrants immediately upon landing in Florida, and the AIDS tests more or less all came back negative, so they should be able to fulfill the NFL rule requiring teams have eleven players on the field for each play.
We Are Not Making This Up: The NFL is prepared to acknowledge the impending Cardinal dynasty by renaming the Super Bowl trophy the Vince Lombardi/Ken Whisenhut Trophy, with ultimate plans to remove Lombardi's name and replace the football at the top with a Cardinal's head.
Numbers Game: NBC will cover the game wth 52 high-definition cameras; 93 microphones, including one on the infernal John Madden; 24 digital replay sources; 20 hand-held cameras; five robotic cameras, including two attached to the goal posts; and one cable camera suspended above the field.
ANY LAST REQUESTS...BESIDES CLEMENCY, THAT IS? Army Private Eddie Slovik is executed for desertion in France on this date in 1945, the first American to be executed for desertion since the Civil War.
FunFact: US courts-martial issued over 21,000 sentences for desertion in World War II. 49 were death sentences. Slovik's was the only one carried out.
Deep Background: Slovik, a coward who refused to fight, had fled his unit and hung out with a Canadian military police unit for a few weeks before being returned to US control. He had written a confession and declined offers to tear it up and return to his unit. His trial the previous November lasted just over an hour and a half. Five witnesses were called, none of them Eddie Slovik, who chose to keep quiet. His defense counsel conducted cross examinations one the military judges, Capt. Benedict Kimmelman, described as "perfunctory". Defense counsel even declined to give a closing statement.
Guardhouse Lawyer: A good lawyer may well have saved Solvik's life. Kimmelman would tell a story about serving on another court-martial where a soldier was charged with shooting his sergeant in broad daylight, in close quarters, in front of witnesses. His attorney, after finding out that an autopsy had not been performed, brought up the point that since they were in a war zone it was entirely possible the sergeant had been shot by a stray enemy bullet. The lawyer then demanded a directed aquittal, which was actually considered before being dismissed.
FunFact: Twelve army sharpshooters were selected to shoot Slovik. Of the eleven bullets fired (one shooter had blanks) none found the heart! The executioners were actually reloading when Slovik died.
The Best Laid Plans Of Mice And Privates: Slovik no doubt thought he'd be convicted at court-martial, serve some time (which he was no stranger to, having been jailed as a civilain) and be released after the war ended.
3…2…1…Blastoff: Explorer 1, the United States' first - and mankind's third - satellite to be launced into orbit, blasts off on this date in 1958. Explorer 1 was about six feet long and weighed just over 30 pounds. It would run out of battery power and stop tramsmitting in May, but remained in orbit until reentering the Earth's atmosphere in March, 1970.
Space Race: The first two satellites launched by Earthlings were done so by the Soviet Union.
Thought For The Day: Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer. - Charles Caleb Colton
Answer To The Last Trivia Question: The Detroit Tigers are the only original Western League team that is still in the American League in its original city.
Today's Stumper: Who the hell is Jennifer Coolidge? We have no clue. - Answer, maybe, next time!
Comments? Recipes? Complaints? Email the Writer's Shack here!
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