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The Daily Dose/June 30, 2011
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
Notes from around the Human Experience...
Editor's Note: Gaylon actually wanted to write about the following item in Wednesday's Daily Dose, however is seminal research into the goddamned New York Yankees schedule of late June, 1934 took precedence.
DETRITUS FROM AN EARLIER COLUMN: This past Saturday, June 25, we wrote about the anniversary of the US Supreme Court ruling Engel vs. Vitale, which ruled that a school prayer said in a New York state public school was in violation of the First Amendment's prohibition against the federal government establishing a religion.
Maybe They We're Both Banging The Same Intern: What's funny is not only did the concurring opinion of William O. Douglas and the dissenting opinion of Potter Stewart both cite several ways our government aids religion, both cited the same examples in support of their opinions!
Both noted - Stewart, in dissent, fairly reasonably, actually - that the crier of the US Supreme Court and the chaplains of both houses of the US Congress also open their days with a plea to the almighty. They both pointed out that students at US service academies are required to attend religious services, though since this opinion was issued that requirement has been made optional.
And both noted the references to god made in both the Pledge of Allegiance and the fourth stanza of The Star-Spangled Banner.
Uh, Is There A Point Here? Point? Well, actually there is: if you know what you are doing - or if you're a lawyer - you can arrange words to mean whatever the hell you want. Witness the first line of Justice Potter Stewart's dissent:
A local school board in New York has provided that those pupils who wish to do so may join in a brief prayer at the beginning of each school day…
Oh Jesus H: That is an excellent example of making the language fit your particular world view. Stated like that, in the context of the innocent school board merely making an opportunity for prayer available for, innocent children, you would have to be Satan himself to object.
Now Wait A Second Here: Or that damned rascal Hugo Black. Black pointed out in the majority opinion:
Such patriotic or ceremonial occasions bear no true resemblance to the unquestioned religious exercise that the State of New York has sponsored in this instance.
OH YEAH: Our last column may have come off as supporting this country's actions in Libya. If so, we regret that because official Writer's Shack policy is that Libya should be left to the Libyans.
BATTER UP: Fred Clarke of the Louisville Colonels becomes the only major leaguer to get five hits in his first major league game on this date in 1894. Clark went 5-5 with a triple in Louisville's 13-6 loss to the Philadelphia Phillies.
I Smell A Trivia Question Coming On: Cy Young of the Boston Red Sox becomes the second major league pitcher to throw three no-hitters on this date in 1908, as the Red Sox defeat the New York Highlanders 8-0.
FunFact: Young, who threw a perfect game in 1903, came close to becoming the only player to throw two perfect games. The only blemish on the day was a leadoff walk in the first to Harry Niles, who was caught stealing.
Somebody's Definitely Getting Shot For This: Mankind's only deaths that actually take place in space occur on this date in 1971 when three cosmonauts aboard Soyuz 11 die after a valve vents all their air out of the spacecraft.
Rather Poignant Dry, Technical Matter: The crew that died was actually scheduled to be the backup crew, however one member of the original primary crew was thought to have TB, so the entire crew was replaced.
Dammit, Viktor! We Have Lost Communication With The Crew: Radio communications with the crew was lost immediately after the service module was discarded prior to reentry. The two bolts that held the service module to the command module fired simultaneously instead of sequentially, with the force loosening a seal on a valve that sent all their air into space. The deaths weren't confirmed, though they were suspected, until support personnel opened the command module.
Yay Communism! The greatness of the motherland was insured forevermore, however, when the Soviet government issued a memorial postage stamp and named craters on the moon after the crew.
Insert Your Own, Preferably Funny, Lead Line Here: The first leap second is added to the world's clocks on this date in 1972. A leap second is necessary from time to time because the Earth rotates at a speed that is a bit different than the time we humans reckon from the 24-hour day.
FunFact: The last leap second was added on New Year's Eve, 2008. When to add leap seconds is decided by something called the International Earth Rotation and Reference Systems Service. Any regular reader of this crap knows we more or less find this stuff interesting, but a visit to the official IERRSS website was too dull, even for us.
Dry, Technical Matter: This despite the fact that within a few clicks we were at yet another infernally dull site that informed us that the March earthquake in Japan shifted Earth's figure axis (the point around which Earth's mass is centered) about 15 centimeters, about double what the 2010 Chilean earthquake shifted it.
Maybe Now We Can Get Some Decent Food: Administrative control of Hong Kong is passed from Great Britain to China on this date in 1997. Hong Kong had been a British colony since the 1840's.
Thought For The Day: If the splitter of hairs has a sharp enough knife, the fact of life itself can be chopped into nothing. Gore Vidal, Creation
Answer To The Last Trivia Question: The five justices who voted in favor in Furman vs. Georgia were William O. Douglas, William J. Brennan, Jr., Potter Stewart, Byron White and Thurgood Marshall.
Today's Stumper: Who was the first major league pitcher to throw three no-hitters in a career? - Answer next time!
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