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The Daily Dose/January 28, 2009
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
   
Ladies and Gentleman, notes from around the Human Experience...Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan is the Column Four Foto!
YOU'RE NOT TRYING HIM RIGHT HERE IN THE MEDIA, ARE YOU? Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich continues to impress the staff of the Writer's Shack with his sheer gall, continuing to boycott his impeachment hearing to focus on a media blitz - a blitz which did not include the Writer's Shack by the by - proclaiming his innocence.
Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! We would like to enter into evidence our fave Blagojevich quote from the whole Senate seat selling fiasco:
I've got this thing and it's [expletive] golden, and, uh, uh, I'm just not giving it up for [expletive] nothing. I'm not gonna do it.
So Your Saying Public Service Isn't A Sacred Trust? That's What I'm Hearing: In the runner-up position of our fave Blagojevich outtakes is this classic:
…they're not willing to give me anything except appreciation, so [expletive] them.
For The Record: Blagojevich liked to make a big deal about how he wasn't getting a fair trial in the Illinois Senate, and even once said he wouldn't be allowed to call witnesses, but an examination of Illinois Senate Resolution 0006, which we, on your behalf, undertook and which spells out the impeachment trial's rules, does not support that assertion.
Dry, Technical Matter: In fact, Rule 22(b) is very clear on the matter, stating, in toto, that:
Each witness shall be examined by one person on behalf of the party producing that witness and then cross examined by one person on the other side. The Chief Justice shall permit redirect examination and may permit re-cross examination.
At Least You've Got That Going For You: Blagojevich, in fact, even catches a break because Rule 15(f) states "It is never in order to…" introduce testimony or other materials that would "compromise" the US Attorney's case against Blagojevich.
OTOH: Rule 8(a) does state, in part, that:
Formal rules of evidence used in Illinois and federal courts do not apply to trials of impeachment before the Senate.
But this isn't a big deal because Blagojevich isn't being tried in state or federal court, merely the Illinois State Senate, which can only take his job, and the ability to hold future state offices, away, and not sentence him to jail.
The Last Word: Illinois Senate rules provide for 30-minute opening statements, the prosecution's case, the defense's case, and prosecution rebuttal. The prosecution then gets one hour of closing arguments, followed by 90 minutes for closing arguments by the defense, followed by 30 minutes of prosecution rebuttal.
CARDNATION: Our love affair with the latest Writer's Shack fave, the Arizona Cardinals, continues.
On their first full day in Tampa, our Cardinals continued with their charity work, this time holding a clinic on pass patterns at the local Boys Club, while the Cardinal cheerleaders held court at the Girl's Club.
The Bottom Of The Barrel: Meanwhile, the few Steelers who made bail after being picked up for outstanding warrants after arriving in Tampa were later seen entering a local gay bar. The rest of the team either remains in custody or in quarantine, pending the results of their AIDS tests.
A Warm, Personal Remembrance: Dad was a lifelong Cardinal fan, both baseball and football, and tried to brainwash his two sons into Cardinal fandom as well. These attempts were in vain, but we still remember the desk lamp we had that had a Cardinal helmet at the base. The helmet also doubled as a piggy bank, another lesson we never bothered to learn.
YOUR CURIOUS FASCINATION WITH THE BRITISH CROWN IS DULY NOTED: On this date, in 1547, Henry VIII died after 37 years, nine months on the throne. He is succeeded by his nine-year-old son Edward VI.
Happy Birthday To You: The US Coast Guard is created by Congress on this date in 1915, a merging of the Revenue Cutter Service and the US Life-Saving Service. The US Lighthouse Service was merged with the Coast Guard in 1939.
Hut Hut Hike: Vince Lombardi was named coach of the Green Bay Packers on this date in 1959. In nine seasons in Green Bay Lombardi would go 89-29-4, win six NFL titles and the first two Super Bowls, which back then featured the NFL champion against the AFL champion. Prior to Lombardi's hiring, the Packers had not had a winning season since 1947 and had not won the NFL title since 1944.
Oh, Jesus H: The space shuttle Challenger disintegrated 73 seconds after liftoff on this date in 1986. All seven crew members, including civilian Christa McAuliffe, died.
Uh, Never Mind: While doing some research on this we got to wondering if McAuliffe had been the first civilian in space. This was shot down, so to speak, when we remembered two things we honestly should have remembered right off the bat: one, McAuliffe never actually made it into outer space, and, two, Neil Armstrong, the first man to walk on the moon, was also a civilian, and further research indicated there were others, too.
Oh Yeah: While officials were able to single a defective O-ring as the cause of the explosion, the astronaut's exact cause of death was never determined, the official findings being called "inconclusive". It's likely some or all of the astronauts were alive after the orbiter's initial breakup, though it was likely, but not certainl, they lost consciousness due to a complete loss of cabin pressure.
A Warm, Personal Remembrance II: This is one of the few landmark events we can recall exactly where we were at when it happened: underwater on the USS Blueback (SS 581)
Diesel Boats Forever: I happened to be farting around standing watch in the control room when a radioman named Scott Brown came out and said he had just caught the tail end of a radio transmission that had ended with the ominous "they are still searching the Atlantic for survivors".
Fast Follow-Up: RM2(SS) Brown would soon report exactly why they were searching the Atlantic for survivors and that none were found.
Thought For The Day: Sometimes when we reach for the stars we fall short. - Ronald Reagan, President of the United States, following Challenger disaster.
Answer To The Last Trivia Question: The two other Super Bowls that featured teams that were in the NFL before 1960 were XLI (Colts vs. Bears) and XIV (Steelers vs. Rams).
Today's Stumper: How many Coast Guard sailors, if any, have won the Medal of Honor? - Answer next time!
Comments? Recipes? Complaints? Email the Writer's Shack here!
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