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The Daily Dose/June 22, 2008
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
   
More notes from the Human Experience, campers, leading off with some uninformed, smart-ass comments about oil prices, the world's ugliest dog, some hot 17th century On This Date action, plus usual detritus like the 1908 Cubs, Trivia, and the Column Four Foto, the very foxy Bo Derek!
SECRETARY OF THE OBVIOUS, AT LEAST TO US: United States Energy Secretary Samuel Bodman said Saturday that inadequate oil production, and not speculation in the futures market, is responsible for the current rise in oil prices.
Uh, OK: That seems reasonable to us here at the Writer's Shack, because it allows us blindly blame the Saudi's without really knowing why. It should be noted, however, that our idea of a financial market is the loose jar we throw our coins into.
A Really Long Sentence, But We Pull It Off: Secretary Bodman's comments came before a meeting the Saudi's had called to discuss rising oil prices and the Saudis have already showed this meeting is entirely for show and that they have no interest in removing the broom handle from the arses of rest of the world who have yet to develop and implement alternative ways of fueling our vehicles by stating the delegates were "congregating to achieve results" and to plot "a collective way forward for how to attend to this situation?" with the words 'this situation' being interpreted as OPEC making even more obscene profits off of oil.
We'd Like To Lube Up Before Taking The Broom Handle, But With Oil So Expensive, We Can't Afford Petroleum Jelly: For the record, the Saudis insist the current rise is do to zany investors speculating in oil futures. We don't really know what the hell is going on, but it seems to us the 21st century calls for 21st century fuels.
Get Your Writer's Shack Policy Right Here: The Writer's Shack hereby issues an immediate demand for the development of other ways to fuel motor vehicles, like mine, for instance. Water would be preferred, because I have easy access to a virtually free and unlimited water supply, but we are open to anything that doesn't cost $4.50 a gallon. We have no clue where the hell to start, of course, though it seems to us decreasing our demand for oil is a good place. Maybe we should all get mad as heck and not take it anymore, too.
FunFact: A barrel of crude oil closed at $134.61 Friday, about twice what it was a year ago.
AND THE WINNER IS: It's official, Gus is the ugliest dog in the world, winning the title at the World's Ugliest Dog contest at the Sonoma-Marin Fair in Petaluma, California Friday. Gus is not only missing an eye and a leg, but he has cancer, too, which some owners claim gave him a leg up, so to speak, in the competition.
Dry, Technical Matter: Gus' owner, Jeanenne Teed, from Florida, said she would spend the $1,600 in prize money on Gus's cancer treatment.
GOING BACK, AWAY BACK: On this date, in 1611, the crew of the ship Discovery mutinies in what is now known as Hudson Bay, setting commander Henry Hudson, his son John and eight mostly sick or infirm crewmen adrift in a small boat. The mutineers had wanted to return home, while Hudson had wanted to continue exploring, a wish that appears to have been granted.
Dry, Technical Matter: Though if you are going to be set adrift at sea, Henry Hudson is a pretty good person to be set adrift with, they were never heard from again.
Back To Back 17th Century On This Date Action: On this date, in 1633, following a trial for heresy, Galileo Galilei was forced by the Holy Office in Rome to recant his view that the Sun, and not the Earth, is the center of the universe. The Catholic Church would officially hold on to this view until, incredibly, 1992, when Pope John Paul II conceded that the Earth does rotate around the Sun.
Editors Note: To commemorate the 100th anniversary of the Chicago Cubs last World Series title On This Date is pleased to review the 1908 Cubs season.
Let's Lose Three!: On this date in 1908 the Cubs lost to their third straight to the Giants, 7-1 at the Polo Grounds. The Cubs make three errors, including one by catcher Johnny Kling, who also had three hits and scored the only Cub run.
Let's Go To The Scoreboard: Elsewhere in the National League, St. Louis defeated Boston and Brooklyn defeated Philadelphia 1-0, and Cincinnati defeated Pittsburgh 4-0. Despite the three game losing streak, the Cubs are still in first place, a game ahead of Pittsburgh, who have lost two out of three. The Reds are three games back, while the Giants get back into the race, pulling to within three-and-a-half games of the Cubs.
Sir, The Pulitzer Committee On Line Two: This is the lead from the New York Times account of the game. We are not making this up:
"If Capt. Chance and his highly and justly esteemed hired men from Cook County will only keep coming around often enough there'll be nothing to it. We'll hang the champ banner on the outer wall and give the Cubs a line in the programme. We've known all along that Chicago was in the Sucker State, but we never quite understood what that meant until our last three baseball experiences at the Polo Grounds."
Make Your Ticket Plans Now!: The Cubs conclude their road trip with a 9-5-1 mark, and return home on June 24 to open a five game series against the Reds.
Through The Years: Another fun way to show how much time has passed since the Cubs last World Series win is to take a look at the other sports champions from 1908: the NFL, NBA and NHL didn't exist, the NCAA was two years old and still known as the Intercollegiate Athletic Association of the United States, and the Rose Bowl was so scarred from the 1902 Michigan/Stanford, 49-0 fiasco they were still holding chariot races on New Years Day. Also, the 1908 Summer Olympics in London featured tug of war and rugby, as well as sports called rackets (similar to squash, which is similar to racquetball) and Jeu de paume (similar to tennis).
Back To The Future: Like their 1908 counterparts, the 2008 Cubs enter June 22 with the best record in the major leagues. Also like 1908, the White Sox are in first place, too, though the Sox are in first in the American League Central, instead of the entire League. Unlike 1908 though, the Cubs and White Sox are allowed to play each other in the regular season, with the Cubs taking the first two from the Sox this weekend, 4-3 and 11-7.
Answer To The Last Trivia Question: There are four (4) verses to The Star-Spangled Banner. All four end with the line 'O'er the land of the free, and the home of the brave', but only in the first verse is it part of a question.
Today's Stumper: When, and in what sport, was the first NCAA championship held? - Answer next time!
Threats? Recipes? Trivia question answers? Email The Writer's Shack Here!
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