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The Daily Dose/March 21, 2010
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
Notes from around the Human Experience...
CAPSULE CHORAL REVIEW: The Las Vegas Master Singers, Community Lutheran Church, Las Vegas, Nevada: Last week The Woman started making her now-familiar noises about (again) doing something cultural, this about a month after I took her to the symphony, which is how Friday night we found ourselves enjoying a choral performance.
Not that I was complaining. I spent a lot of time growing up in Lutheran churches and while I can't be bothered to go anymore, it's usually fun to go back.
We even have some street cred in the choir department, having sung in choirs until sixth grade when Mr. Kinkel had me mouth the words rather than continue to subject the congregation to my talents.
Playbill: The program was an evening of songs of English origin, though a lullaby by American Billy Joel made its way onto the program for reasons we're certain were explained to us.
Minority Report:Evidently whites are the only race that sings in Vegas once you get off the Strip because the choir was mostly lily white, with only one black guy, an Asian woman, an Indian (Ghandi) woman and another gentlemen of indeterminate origin - who could've been either Mexican or Asian which in our experience means he's probably Filipino - preventing everyone from donning white hoods.
The rest of the choir consisted of mostly older, rather serious looking women, most of whom had light hair and tended toward stoutness. Each gave the impression they would, officially, be "tolerating" the evening's festivities if not particularly enjoy it.
I Happen To Be The Husband Of Three: The token black guy could sing. Kaymen Carter did a fine solo on The Jolly Tar and the Milkmaid, which was one of the few times anyone in the choir appeared to be enjoying themselves.
Line-up Card: Tod Fitzpatrick and Sarah Vidal also had fine solos. The organist, Douglas C. Wilson, tended to be a bit puckish and a tad full of himself, but those aren't bad qualities in artists.
Sub-Capsule Review: Community Lutheran Church: This was not your vicar's Lutheran church. Like some new churches, the sanctuary looked like a high school theater, with chairs instead of pews and the rows angled up from the chancel, which was actually a stage with a cross and an organ. The narthex had a coffee stand and a gift shop.
Standard Internet Disclaimer: Though an enthusiastic singer, Gaylon is singularly unqualified to rate a choir and has one of the worst voices Providence chose to equip a human being with. As usual though, a lack of qualifications in a subject will not preclude him from passing judgement on it.
We Interrupt This Program For A Word From The Ratings Department: Following Is The Official Writer's Shack Capsule Review Rating scale:
EX - Excellent; as good as the medium can produce in every respect.
VG - Very Good. Well worth your time.
GD - Good. More or less worth your time.
AR - All Right. Not completely without merit.
SP - Nothing of substance; a steaming pile, utterly without merit.
Final Rating: VG. Even to musical zeros like us it is plain the Las Vegas Master Singers are very good at what they do except for one lady off to the left who was plainly going through the motions. Director Dr. Jocelyn K. Jensen draws every last bit of their substantial talent out of them even if her conducting style more resembles throwing a bucket of water on a fire and she dresses like a woman half her age. We would have preferred more songs that we were familiar with, but that is probably reflection of our woeful ignorance of these matters than anything else.
HUT, HUT HIKE: Some detritus from the recently past college football season, with all precincts reporting:
Major college football teams intercepted 1,479 passes, scored 5,138 touchdowns, rushed for 274,993 yards kicked 1,775 field goals and scored 41,162 points.
Now You Know: Division III football teams punted 11,452 times, with 637 touchbacks.
LONG LIVE THE KING: Henry V becomes King of England on this date in 1413 following the death of his father Henry IV.
What In The Name Of Bloody Hell's Going On Here? At Henry's coronation in April it snowed, and the commoners were unsure if this was a bad omen or a good omen. Henry V was in his mid-20's when he took the throne and reigned for nine years.
Disco Inferno: The Archbishop of Canterbury, Thomas Cranmer, was burned at the stake on this date in 1556. Cranmer had been a leader in the English reformation, but when Edward VI died and was replaced by Mary I, who was Catholic, he fell out of favor, was convicted of treason and sentenced to be burned at the stake.
Cranmer, no fool, then recanted all his Protestant leanings but Mary I decided to burn him anyway so at his execution he recanted his recantations calling the Pope the "Antichrist".
Law And Order: The Napoleonic Code becomes the basis for civil law in France on this date in 1804.
Whoops, My Bad: On this date, in 1844, Jesus Christ did not return to Earth despite the fact Baptist minister William Miller had decreed the Second Coming of Christ would occur sometime between March 21, 1843 and March 21, 1844.
Coming Back Strong: Millerites weren't too discouraged by Christ's failure to come at the time appointed by their leader and used another interpretation of the Bible to pick an April date and when He didn't return then selected one final date in October, 1844 for the Second Coming. Jesus didn't come then, either, leading to what history refers to as The Great Disappointment.
Dr. Livingstone, I Presume: Journalist Henry Stanley departs on his famous mission to Africa to find missionary and explorer David Livingstone on this date in 1871.
FunFact: Livingstone had been searching for the source of the Nile River and had been out of contact with Western world for several years when the New York Herald dispatched Stanley to find him.
Stanley's journey was not easy. Disease ravaged both horses and men, decimating the party. The journey was so arduous that to keep morale up Stanley began beating the men that remained. He would find Livingston in November at Lake Tanganyika in what is now Tanzania.
The Null Geodesics Are The 4-Dimensional Cone: Albert Einstein publishes his Theory of Special Relativity on this date in 1905.
We don't understand this either. Any of it. Usually we are good for some tidbits or fun facts concerning things that are generally above the understanding of the lay mentality but not here.
Above And Beyond: Charles Lindbergh, a captain in the US Army Air Corps Reserves, receives the Medal of Honor for his solo flight across the Atlantic Ocean on this date in 1928.
FunFact: Until World War II, the Medal of Honor was also authorized to be awarded in peacetime.
Editor's Note: The next few Thoughts for the Day will be from The Count of Monte Cristo, by Alexandre Dumas.
Thought For The Day: One man always has the right to offer insult to fifty, General, it is the privilege of weakness.
Answer To The Last Trivia Question: Poplar Forest was the name Thomas Jefferson's retreat. It is located near Lynchburg, Virginia.
Today's Stumper: The trivia question will return.
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