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The Daily Dose/April 21, 2010
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
Notes from around the Human Experience...
CAPSULE DIVE RESTAURANT REVIEW: The Golden Grill, The Gold Spike Hotel and Casino, Las Vegas, Nevada: Like an old guy who buys a rug, loses weight and invests in a new, tacky blazer, the Gold Spike has been cleaned up.
Good thing, too, because for years, well, decades, actually, the Gold Spike had a reputation, well earned, of being the divest of dives, a place where the smell of cigarette smoke greeted you while you were still outside.
Changing Of The Guard: It's a new Gold Spike, though. It's been cleaned up and if the remodeling isn't exactly causing interior designers the world over to flock to the Gold Spike to take notes, it's not too bad, either.
Street Cred: Our dive diner credentials are pretty solid. We cut our teeth at The Owl in El Centro, California, which those who have been there know is/was the major leagues of dives, which we define as producing really good food in an atmosphere that could charitably be called "authentic".
More Street Cred: Plus as recently reviewed here, we are big fans of Mom's Café in Salina, Utah and we regularly hang out at Jerry's Nugget here in Vegas, which has as good food as you can find in this town while still attracting the "authentic" clientele we demand in a dive diner, although Jerry's food is so good the high falutin' folks make it there, too.
Paging Juan Valdez, Paging Juan Valdez: The Golden Diner got off to a strong start by producing a really good cup of coffee. We are by no means coffee snobs here at the Writer's Shack. As long as it's hot, black and caffeinated we'll find some merit in it even if you could add it to your car's engine for increased engine performance, but the coffee here was really good.
The service was all right, kind of leisurely but we weren't in any hurry. And it doesn't matter anyway because Ashlee is really cute, with those wholesome, brunette good looks that make you think she is probably from the Midwest and that she is either making some lucky guy a good wife or will be in due course.
Plus, it should be noted that Ashlee and her partner, the fag with the goatee, were the only ones working, and although the place wasn't packed they were working without a hostess or a bus boy, which is management's fault, not theirs.
Now Here This: Know in advance you won't be getting the cream of the Vegas crop at the Gold Spike. The guy who owns it also owns several of those flexible living apartment buildings and if you live in one of them he gives a coupon good for a free meal every day at the Gold Spike.
But that's all right. It takes all kinds to keep this world spinning and you get all kinds in downtown Vegas, pretty much 24 hours a day, too. Enjoy it or go home.
Taste Test: The food was pretty good, not too bad as Dad would put it, which, when issued by a Lutheran man, is actually a nice little compliment. The hotcakes were tasty and the hash browns were fresh from the grill and nice and crispy, just the way we like them.
Fly In The Ointment: The procurement officer for the Golden Diner should go stand in the corner. They didn't have blueberries, obliging me to change my order to a regular stack of hotcakes, which we are merely noting and not actually complaining about, and our sainted Ashlee was obliged to tell another guest they were out of milk and how a coffee shop could run out of milk at breakfast is still not immediately clear.
Fly In The Ointment II: A couple of minor details kept the Golden Diner from reaching top Dive Diner status, though. The plates, though they looked like regular plates, were actually plastic, the cutlery was cheap and the napkin had been torn from a towel dispenser. All three of these things are bad for morale. If, like us you are dining at the Gold Spike because you want to and not because you have to, things like that matter, especially if you are able to tell the difference between a really good dive diner and an average one. If you are dining at the Gold Spike because it's an inexpensive place to get a good meal, things like that merely reinforce why you're eating there.
Still though, you can't beat really good coffee, a quality stack of hotcakes, crispy hash browns and a cute, friendly waitress. The only thing preventing us from getting out of there for $10, which would have included a decent tip was that Ashlee was sooooo cute we completely lost our mind and left a sixty percent gratuity.
Standard Internet Disclaimer: Though a long-time, enthusiastic eater who has eaten virtually every day of his life, Gaylon is not a professional restaurant critic. He ate a lot of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and cheeseburgers in his younger days and while his palate has grown somewhat in sophistication over the years, he should not be your go-to guy for definitive restaurant information.
We Interrupt This Program For A Word From The Ratings Department: Following Is The Official Writer's Shack Capsule Review Rating scale:
EX - Excellent; as good as the medium can produce in every respect.
VG - Very Good. Well worth your time.
GD - Good. Worth your time.
AR - All Right. Not completely without merit.
SP - Nothing of substance; a steaming pile, utterly without merit.
Final Rating: GD. We are so blinded by our crush on the lovely Ashlee that we almost upped the rating a notch, but we are such professionals here at the Writer's Shack that we refuse to compromise. We know you appreciate our high standards as much as we do. If you're in downtown Las Vegas and are looking for a good meal at a good price and don't mind that your fork is bent a little bit, you will enjoy the Golden Diner.
WHEN IN ROME: According to legend Rome is founded on this date in 753 BC by twin brother Romulus and Remus. Legend also says that Romulus and Remus were raised by a wolf after being abandoned by an uncle, so maybe Rome wasn't founded on this date in 753 BC.
Long Live The King: Henry VIII becomes King of England on this date in 1509. He would serve over 37 years, until January, 1547. Henry is 17 at the time of his ascension.
Thought For The Day: Marriage, the last refuge of men unable to fend for themselves. - Garrison Keilor, Leaving Home
Answer To The Last Trivia Question: Douglas McArthur received his Medal of Honor for service in the Philippines in World War II.
Today's Stumper: How many Medal of Honor recipients have been flag officers (generals or admirals) when awarded the Medal? - Answer next time!
Comments? Recipes? Complaints? Email the Writer's Shack here!
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