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The Daily Dose/March 19, 2008
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
   
More notes from around this quagmire we are passing off as a Human Experience. Oh, and the Column Four Foto, singer Rebecca St. James!
I DO SOLEMNLY SWEAR: Mo Buchanon, a 35-year-old cab driver from Brooklyn, was sworn in as New York's governor Tuesday, the fifth person - and the second black - to hold the position this week.
On Your Mark, Get Set, Resign: New York's cavalcade of governors began last week when, seemingly out of nowhere, Eliot Spitzer was linked to a high priced prostitution ring and resigned. His successor, former Lt. Governor David Paterson, resigned after admitting both he and his wife cheated left and right on each other during a "rough patch" in their marriage, starting around 1999. His successor, former Senate Majority Leader Joseph Bruno, resigned 20 minutes after his inauguration after it was discovered he was once in a room where someone he didn't know used the "N" word. And his successor, Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver, resigned shortly after his inauguration when it was revealed he watched a movie called You've Got Male while in a hotel on state business and may even have touched himself in an inappropriate manner.
Dry, Technical Matter: Morris was sworn in after he applied online for the position, which was necessary because the New York constitution doesn't designate a line of succession past the Speaker of the Assembly.
Leadership Vacuum: The writers of the New York's current constitution - adopted in 1938 - didn't bother designating a further line of succession because they no doubt figured they wouldn't need to. The white males responsible, however, had no way of foreseeing 1) an incredibly nosey media that seldom does any actual reporting anymore, preferring press releases and scandalous tips to matters of substance, and, 2) an electorate that expects their elected leaders to be images on a stained glass window instead of human beings with the same faults, desires and foibles they have.
Of The People, By The People, For The People: Campers, since the people ain't perfect, anything we do, be it building a chair or trying to govern ourselves, isn't going to be perfect, either. So why do we expect our leaders to be images on stained glass windows? Especially since we know they're not. I mean, politicians lie to us regularly, manage us by telling us what we want to hear instead of leading us by telling us what we need to hear and they faithfully spew the line of whatever single issue group writes them the biggest check and are only concerned with getting reelected. Except for Ron Paul. He's okay.
Stop The Madness: So why are we getting so worked up because the governor of New York paid a foxy young girl to have sex with him? There are other things we should be getting worked up about.
Get Your Official Writer's Shack Policy Right Here: What consenting adults do behind close doors is their own business. It's not my business and it's not your business. A man's sexual escapade hurts his wife? That is regrettable, but it is a matter for them to sort out, not the press or the electorate. We should all butt out.
Uh-Oh: Paterson hit the nail right on the head at the news conference where he revealed his infidelity, and it isn't pretty:
"Elected officials are really just reflections of the people we represent."
FAMILY AFFAIR: Franklin D. Roosevelt married his distant cousin Eleanor on this date in 1905. President FDR's fifth cousin Theodore Roosevelt gave his niece away.
Say Cheese: On this date in 1915 the once and former planet Pluto is photographed for the first time, the first of at least five times it would be photographed before being discovered as a planet in 1930.
In 1918: Congress approves a system of time zones for the United States, as well as Daylight Savings Time. Prior to this, local time, largely determined by the railroads, had been used in the US.
Yes! On this date in 1931 gambling is legalized in Nevada, as a temporary fix to the state's then-economic woes. Previously, Nevada had legalized gambling in 1868, before criminalizing it in 1909.
WHEW, THAT WAS CLOSE: Those pesky Tibetans back in the fold after their peaceful march was successfully turned violent and then repressed, China can now turn its attention to returning the iron hand to the region it has occupied since 1950. It's starting by issuing
Official Chinese totals are that 13 people died and 105 surrendered to the police to be tortured and probably executed, though we have to take their word for that number because a list of those in custody have not been released.
Yeah Right: The Chinese are doing a nice job of making the Dali Lama, about as good and decent a man as this species can produce, seem like Satan incarnate:
"We are in the midst of a fierce struggle involving blood and fire, a life and death struggle with the Dalai Clique," said one official in a conference call. "Leaders of the whole country must deeply understand the arduousness, complexity and long-term nature of the struggle,"
What Struggle?: Some monks got their robes in a tizzy because their culture and religion has been systemically destroyed over the past couple of generations. So what? Call in some troops, who are better trained for this sort of stuff than a monk, start shooting and setting fire to things and they'll stop. And don't worry about international reaction either, because outside of the usual calls for restraint and a few scattered calls for condemnation, nobody is going to get too worked up over it. It's not as if Tibet has any oil or anything like that.
Stop The Presses: While it is highly unlikely the Games themselves will be boycotted, French Foreign Minister Bernard Kouchner is running the idea of world leaders skipping the Opening Ceremonies up the European Union flagpole. A toady with the Chinese organizing committee said "The Beijing Olympics will be a grand gathering for people from around the world. We need to respect the principles of the Olympics and the Olympic Charter and we should not politicize the Games."
A Little Too Close To Home: Of course, people can't go boycotting things left and right just because somebody's is brutally occupying a country, can they?
Answer To The Last Trivia Question: The United States Military Academy has produced the following heads of state: Ulysses S. Grant and Dwight D. Eisenhower, President of the United States; Jefferson Davis, President of the Confederate States of American; Anastasio Somoza Debayle, President of Nicaragua; Fidel V. Ramos, President of the Phillipines and Jose Maria Figueres, President of Costa Rica.
Today's Stumper: True or false: Mankind is going straight to hell? Remember to show your work. - Answer next time!
Threats? Recipes? Trivia question answers? Email The Writer's Shack Here!
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