| | Home
The Human Zoo/August 19, 2011
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
Notes from around The Human Experience...
…in the long run, success or failure will be conditioned upon the way in which the average man, the average woman does his or her duty…The stream will not permanently rise higher than the main source; and the main source of national power and national greatness is found in the average citizenship of the nation
WE ARE MUCKING THIS UP: The above quote was our Thought for the Day from August 18, 2011. We've used it before here and after reading it again we got to thinking.
By any objective standard, the average citizenship of this nation is poor. By almost any measure we are not living any aspect of our national existence well.
Super Size Us: For starters, two-thirds of this country - a demographic which probably includes us - is fat and one-third of those are obese. On average, we are consuming enough food for two people. We sit and watch tee vee - an activity whose only redeeming quality is it is rather safe because it is difficult to fall out a reclining chair - for four to five hours every day, roughly 14 years of a 75-year life.
We The People: We keep sending the same people back to Congress again and again despite the fact nobody really likes the job they are doing. Our elected officials have shown they answer only to those corporations and special interests that write them the biggest checks and have managed this country's finances so horribly that this nation is now within a generation or two of needing to spend all of its income on entitlement programs.
Fly In The Ointment: This means we will have to borrow money to pay for everything else: an army, national parks and everything else a country spends money on. This completely untenable situation can only result in the collapse of this nation.
Let's Look In The Mirror Shall We? We are only a generation or two from complete collapse because we are putting up with it. Since it all we ask of them, our national leaders are content to do only the bare minimum required for reelection, which mainly consists telling us what we want to hear instead of what we need to hear.
Get Your official Writer's Shack Policy Right Here: We've said this before: this country hasn't been led since Kennedy, we have been, and currently are, being managed. We're all right with that, though, because as a nation we've become, to quote Salmon Rushdie, fat and trivial.
More Whining! We've said this before: it's a national disgrace this nation did not put man - or even a woman - on Mars in the 1980's, another manifestation of a nation that prefers being entertained to accomplishing anything of substance.
Back To The Future: All of this got us thinking about what Roosevelt would think of his country today. It is not particularly unreasonable to think Roosevelt, who once gave a speech after getting shot, would not be at all pleased with his country if he were alive today and especially if he were in charge today. He would probably take every member of Congress not named Ron or Rand Paul, line them up against the base of the Jefferson Memorial and shoot them.
SIXTY YEARS BACK: Eddie Gaedel of the St. Louis Browns, at three feet, seven inches the shortest player in big league history, makes his only major league appearance on this date in 1951. Pinch-hitting for Frank Saucier (himself enjoying his only big league season) Gaedel draws a walk and is immediately run for by Jim Delsing, another player you only hear about when Gaedel is mentioned.
Dry, Technical Matter: August 19, 1951 was a Sunday, and with the Browns safely in last place and the Tigers not in any danger of printing World Series tickets, Browns owner Bill Veeck was trying to liven up a rather meaningless doubleheader. The pinch-hitting appearance was Gaedel's second appearance of the day. He had jumped out of a cakes in between games as part of a celebration of the 50th anniversary of the American League.
HR Connection: Veeck has always insisted the had the idea of using a midget since childhood. Gaedel had been signed late in the afternoon the previous Friday, and the contract was sent to American League headquarters for routine approval, because didn't want to bother league officials with the fact Gaedel was a midget. He wore a uniform the Browns kept around for the son of a team executive that had the number 1/8 on the back, which was how he was listed on the scorecard. Home plate umpire Eddie Hurley, not entirely sure what the hell was going on, demanded proof Gaedel was authorized to play in an official American League game. Veeck, no idiot, had anticipated this and Brown's manager Zach Taylor had a copy of not only the contract, but also a copy of the Brown's official active roster and the wire to the league office putting Gaedel on the roster.
FunFact: Gaedel is one of five players in major league history who have walked in their only major league plate appearance and never played in the field.
Oh Yeah: The Browns, well on their way to losing 102 games and finishing last, a mere 46 games behind the New York Yankees, lost both games to the Tigers, 5-2 and 6-2. It was the Browns ninth doubleheader loss of the season and not their last, either. They would go on to lose three more.
Broad, Historical Context: The Browns were in the middle of really bad stretch, even for them. 1951 would be the fifth straight year they finished with a winning percentage of less than .400, bad even by Browns standards.
Uh-Oh: Soviet president Mikhail Gorbachev is removed from power on this date in 1991 by hardline Communists. Gorbachev, whose first clue something was wrong came when he tried to make a phone call and couldn't get a dial tone, was back in power three days later, thanks to democracy protests led by Russian president Boris Yelstin.
Thought For The Day: Eddie, you'll be immortal. - Bill Veeck, owner of the St. Louis Browns, to Eddie Gaedel.
Answer To The Last Trivia Question: Wisconsin, Illinois and Michigan were the first three states to ratify the 19th Amendment to the United States Constitution. All three did so on June 10, 1919.
Today's Stumper: What team holds the major league record for most doubleheaders lost in a season? - Answer next time!
Comments? Recipes? Complaints? Email the Writer's Shack here!
Home |
| |
