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The Daily Dose/August 15, 2008
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
Notes from around the Human Experience...
IN OUR LAST EPISODE: We discussed men's volleyball and how, after seeing some Team USA action from Beijing, it might well be the most difficult game to play. Since we have little enough to do here at the Writer's Shack, what with The Bottom Ten still a couple of weeks off, we got to discussing our very subjective opinions about what the most difficult sports might be.
Warning! A couple of disclaimers, though. One, this list is not all inclusive. We have not played every sport there is, and the ones we did play we never played particularly well.
Two, just because we don't think a particular sport is as difficult as another sport doesn't mean we think that sport is easy. Every sport is difficult, particularly when played at a world-class level. Or so we're told; as noted, we've never played a sport at a world-class level. The only thing we've done at a world class level here at the Writer's Shack is sleep. We're pretty good at that.
One More Thing: We don't have the time to discuss every sport, either.
Very Well…Carry On: Bearing that in mind, we have always been of the opinion basketball was the hardest sport to play. Consider this: in basketball you can go from offense to defense and back to offense in a matter of seconds. You don't get to go to the bench and sit, waiting for your turn to take a shot and you certainly don't get a minute to warm up before playing defense, both of which you get to do in baseball. And you certainly don't get 30 seconds between plays - or play offense or defense exclusively - like you do in football. Nor do you play basketball in one minute shifts like you do in hockey.
Disclaimer Repeat: We are not saying football, hockey and baseball are easy!
We're Just Saying: Basketball is pretty tough to play.
Ladies And Gentlemen Of The Jury: Volleyball might be tougher. Our volleyball experience is limited to some church youth group games and PE class, but even then we were bad enough to know this might be tougher than the others. One, good luck serving it like the best in the world do. You get a running start and then you leap forward and while you're in the air you throw the ball up and then strike it with your hand and you are expected to do so with sufficient velocity and accuracy to make it difficult for the other team to return it. Should they return it, your team will probably have to defend what is called a "kill", which is basically the other team hitting it as hard as they can right at you and you're only allowed to touch it with your arms.
Fore! Golf, of course, has to be mentioned in any discussion of the most difficult sport. Satan, after all, invented it on the seventh day while God wasn't looking and rested. It is certainly the most frustrating game. Anyone who has made what felt like a perfect swing only to have the ball trickle off to the right a few feet or disappear in an orange grove can appreciate that. But if you have the time to play golf fairly regularly, you can play fairly well and enjoy a nice little pastime for yourself.
Hut, Hut Hike: Football is kinda tough, though it is made tougher because nowadays it's more complicated than it needs to be because no matter how complex offense and defensive systems get the very best teams are still the ones that block and tackle better than the others. But if you can take hit without weeping, and you aren't a complete blockhead, you can play football. Beside, as noted, in football you don't even need to play offense and defense, you can get by specializing in one or the other.
USA! USA! Our fave men's volleyball team moved to 3-0 in pool play and clinched a spot in the quarter-finals Thursday, beating Bulgaria 27-29, 25-21, 25-14 and 26-24. They will play China Saturday and conclude pool Monday against winless Japan.
Jesus H, Another Disclaimer: Somebody probably should have warmed the US men's volleyball team about the Writer's Shack jinx, as past Faves the All Blacks, New Zealand's national rugby union team, and the Mount Union Purple Raiders football team, can tell you what happens when the Writer's Shack jumps on your bandwagon: you lose, that's what happens. The US men's volleyball team shares Fave status with the Norwegian women's handball team.
Speaking Of Which: Our Norskie chicks also moved to 3-0 in pool play, dismantling hapless Kazakhstan 35-19. Writer's Shack fave lesbian Gro Hammerseng again played it low key, scoring two goals in limited action, one of nine Norwegianites with multiple goals. Norway will take on France Friday before closing out pool play Sunday against Romania, who also moved to 3-0 with a 34-26 victory over France.
Ready, Aim, Fire: We don't usually favor drive by comments like this, preferring substantive pieces that are worth your time, but here some short, bite-sized thoughts on detritus from Beijing we don't really feel like writing too in depth about:
Opening Ceremony Lip Synch Scandal: We don't really care. It's not that big a deal, and Lord knows nobody enjoys bashing those damn Communists like we do. Enjoy the show. If there's lip synching, so what?
The Chinese (Little) Girls Gymnastics Team: There is no way, no way, every one of those girls is 16-years-old. We are not experts on girls younger than 16, at least according to my attorney in accordance with that deal with the DA, but dear me, some passports have been forged here.
AND NOW BACK TO OUR REGULALRY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING: On this date, in 1248, the cornerstone of the Cologne Cathedral in Germany is laid. Containing sarcophagi believed to hold the remains of the Three Wise Men, the cathedral wasn't completed until 1880, 632 years later.
Batter Up: On this date, in 1886, in the second game of a doubleheader against the Baltimore Orioles, pitcher Guy Hecker of the Louisville Colonels of the American Association has one of the great offensive days in major league history. In one game Hecker establishes new major league records for most hits in a game with six, most runs in a game with seven, most total bases with 15 and, he ties the record for most home runs in a game with three, and all these marks are records for pitchers. For a hitter to establish those marks in one game today he would have to have eight hits, four of them home runs, twenty total bases and score eight runs.
Time Machine: 122 years later, the home runs, total bases and hits in a game records have been broken, and his record for home runs in a game by a pitcher was tied by the Braves' Jim Tobin in 1942, but seven runs in a game, six hits and 15 total bases by a pitcher are still major league records.
Hurry, We're Running Out Of Time: Our 1908 Cubs lost again! Returning home for their first home game since July 22, the Cubs lose to the Phillies 3-1. The Cubs have now lost two straight and seven of their last nine and are fading fast in the National League, five-and-a-half games behind the Pirates, who beat Boston 3-2 and have won nine out of 12. The Giants remained two back with a 5-1 victory over the Cardinals.
Answer To The Last Trivia Question: Baseball is being kicked out of the Olympics after the Beijing Games, marking the first time it's been kicked out as a medal sport, however, it had been a demonstration sport at various Olympiads, and, on four of those it was not picked up as a medal sport.
Today's Stumper: There is no trivia question today. - Answer next time!
Threats? Recipes? Trivia question answers? Email The Writer's Shack Here!
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