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The Daily Dose/November 9, 2007
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack

   

Today, our chronicles of the human experience take us to Las Vegas, back to Islamabad, Sicily and Mount Sinai, as O.J. Simpson returns to court, Benazir Bhutto, the cutest opposition leader around, is awarded house arrest and our legal department presents the recently uncovered Mafia Ten Commandments, as the popular Column Four Foto spotlights Vegas fave Sheena Easton.

VEGAS, BAYBEE: America's Defendant, OJ Simpson returned to his natural habitat Thursday, appearing in a Las Vegas courtroom for the opening day of a multi-day gig to determine if there is sufficient evidence for Simpson and other, non-famous defendants to stand trial on various charges, including armed robbery and kidnapping stemming from a September incident at an off-strip Las Vegas hotel where Simpson and others allegedly tried to take memorabilia others were trying to sell and which Simpson claimed belonged to him.

Oh, All Right: OJ's co-defendants are Clarence "CJ" Stewart and Charles Ehrlich both 53, but they're not former Heisman Trophy winners, movie stars or aquited double murderers so we don't really care about them. Three others in the case, none of them famous, either, have copped plea deals in exchange for squealing against Simpson and those other two. They are expected to testify that Simpson had requested guns be brought to the festivities to show how serious OJ was about getting his stuff back.

Leading Off: On Thursday, testimony was heard from Thomas Riccio, who had originally told Simpson that memorabilia dealers Bruce Fromong and Alfred Beardsley were looking to sell a large quantity of Simpson memorabilia. Riccio was also thoughtful enough to bring a digital recorder to record the events for posterity, TMZ.com and the state of Nevada's judicial system. Fromong also testified, saying he and Beardsley had shown up expecting to meet an unnamed memorabilia collector and that Simpson and his posse showed up "in a military fashion" and that Simpson went around barking that all the items were his.

Meanwhile: Simpson's attorney, Gabriel Grasso, spent the day fussing that Fromong was there merely looking for a big payday. Since Fromong is a memorabilia dealer who was there looking to sell memorabilia, this is hardly a bulletin, though Fromong did acknowledge he was working a deal with a tabloid tee vee show even as the event was going down.

Dry, Technical Matter: The hearing continues Friday. Eight witnesses are scheduled to testify, and the hearing may carry through till next week. Still unclear is where Simpson is staying while in Vegas. Most hotels have gone on record as saying they will not welcome Simpson and official rumors are he's staying at a hotel under an assumed name like Goldman or something like that.

LIVE FROM PAKISTAN: Pakistan President Gen. Pervez Musharraf continues his late run for the UN Dictator of the Year award following up suspending the constitution, replacing the Chief Justice and the arresting of lawyers by placing opposition leader, former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto, under house arrest. Government officials were so intent on keeping Bhutto safe from her evil supporters they uncoiled barbed wire in front of her home and armored vehicles prevented Bhutto from leaving to go to a rally - prohibited, of course - in a nearby city to protest Musharraf's emergency rule declaration.

Had she been allowed to go, Bhutto would have been treated to the sight of her supporters being gassed and beaten and forced to disburse.

Update: Bhutoo was released from house arrest a few hours after this article was posted.

ON THIS DATE: In 1971, John List murdered his wife, three kids and mother in Westfield, New Jersey. Due to the generally reclusive life the List's led, and letters left by List for employers and school officials, the murders weren't discovered for a month and List lived under an assumed identity for 18 years, before being captured in 1989 after his case was featured on a tee vee show. He had assumed a new identity, remarried, and resumed his career as an accountant.

In 1989: The Berlin Wall started coming down, as East Germany announced that restrictions on travel between east and west Berlin were being lifted, as East German refugees were already fleeing to the west via Czechoslovakia. Some minor hilarity ensued because the restrictions were originally scheduled to be lifted the following day, but a breakdown in communications led to an East German spokesman announcing they were lifted immediately, which led to tens of thousands East Germans converging on the wall demanding entry into West Berlin. A reported zero (0) people from West Germany stormed the wall demanding entry into East Berlin.

THERE ARE TEN COMMANDMENTS, AND THEN THERE ARE TEN COMMANDMENTS: Sicilian Mafia boss Salvatore Lo Piccolo was arrested in Italy on November 5 after nearly two decades on the run. Found at his hideout were Ten Commandments for being a mobster.

Did These Come From Mt. Sinai? We're Just Curious?: We are not making that up, there are commandments for gangsters. And they don't have anything to do with mixing cement or proper gun caliber, either. Like His commandments, they are brief, simple and all-inclusive. They two sets appear to agree on coveting thy neighbors wife as a sin, though they do differ on the matter of killing, as the laws Moses brought down prohibits killing, while the mafia's code is silent on the matter, prefering to leave it up the individual. The Sicilian code is also silent on the matter of coveting they neighhbor's cattle, as well.

As a public service, and strictly for entertainment since we here at the Writer's Shack have never really understood our fellow human's fascination with the mob, we present the mafia's Ten Commandments. As a reminder, we also present their Biblical counterparts:

1. No-one can present himself directly to another of our friends. There must be a third person to do it.

Biblical Counterpart: Thou shalt have no other gods before me. 

2. Never look at the wives of friends.

Biblical Counterpart: Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.

3. Never be seen with cops.

Biblical Counterpart: Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy.

4. Don't go to pubs and clubs.

Biblical Counterpart: Thou shalt honor thy father and thy mother, that it mayest be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the Earth.

5. Always being available for Cosa Nostra is a duty - even if your wife's about to give birth.

Biblical Counterpart: Thou shalt not kill. 

6. Appointments must absolutely be respected.

Biblical Counterpart: Thou shalt not commit adultery.

7. Wives must be treated with respect.

Biblical Counterpart: Thou shalt not steal.

8. When asked for any information, the answer must be the truth.

Biblical Counterpart: Thou shalt not bear false witness about thy neighbor. 

9. Money cannot be appropriated if it belongs to others or to other families.

Biblical Counterpart: Thou shalt not covet they neighbor's house.

10. People who can't be part of Cosa Nostra: anyone who has a close relative in the police, anyone with a two-timing relative in the family, anyone who behaves badly and doesn't hold to moral values.

Biblical Counterpart: Thou shalt not covet they neighbor's spouse, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant nor their cattle nor anything that is thy neighbor's.

Benediction: Go in peace, serve The Writer's Shack.

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