Daily Report - 8/30/07
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack

Spanning The Globe, To Bring You, Well, Something...

CAPSULE MOVIE REVIEW, SEPTEMBER DAWN: Based on the 1857 massacre of Arkansas and Missouri émigrés traveling to California, the wagon train stops for a fortnight in Mormon-controlled territory in Mountain Meadows, Utah. The Mormons, fresh off of being chased from Missouri and having their leader, Joseph Smith murdered, and suspicious of a United States government sending troops to overthrow their current leader, Brigham Young - and inspired by God to boot - end up massacring all but those who would be too young to remember having their parents murdered in front of them.

The Plot Thickens: Incredibly, the producers found a way to work a love story into this mess! Emily (Tamara Hope), a gentile on the wagon train, falls for Jonathon (Trent Ford), a Mormon who, uh-oh, happens to be the son of Jacob Samuelson (Jon Voight), a Bishop in the Church , who initially lets the party rest on Mormon land, but later changes his mind and decides to slaughter all of them.

We Interrupt This Program For A Word From The Ratings Department: 

Following Is The Official Writer's Shack Rating scale:
EX - Excellent; as good as the medium can produce in every respect.
VG - Very Good; well worth your time.
AR - All Right; not completely without merit.
SP - A steaming pile, utterly without merit and not worth your time, my time or anyone else's time; should've had everyone concerned with making it scratching their head and wondering "Why are we doing this".

Final Ranking: VG. A first class cast working with a well-written script who are expertly directed. We guess. We are not qualified enough to pass judgement on a directors work. Jon Voight was excellent, though my personal favorite was Shaun Johnston as Capt. Alexander Fancher, the trail boss hired to lead the wagon train. It was refreshing that none of the female leads were anorexic, barely-talented blondes, though Tamara Hope certainly provided a High cuteness factor.

Mandatory Dept. of the Internet Disclaimer: Gaylon is not a professional movie reviewer. He is not even a movie fan in general, attending only with a woman, as due diligence preparatory to getting laid, or when recommended by his highly educated, somewhat dull friend Jeffrey, who drug him from Writer's Shack World Headquarters for this screening. His opinions generally reflect a rather low opinion of the medium, and, might even be termed snobbish. For reference, his all-time favorite movies are Fletch and Same Time Next Year.

Dull, Technical Matter: September Dawn, produced and directed by Christopher Cain, and co-written by Cain and Carole W. Schutter. Length: 1:50. Rated: R for, we presume, Carnage, though the massacre scenes, and there are more than one, are not all that gory, actually. Certainly a movie involving 19th century Mormons and Christians doesn't have any foul language or nudity, though Tamara Hope, in a risqué moment while bathing in the river, does go completely insane and show some shoulder.

You Expected Them To Film This In Utah?: The movie was filmed in Alberta.

ON THIS DATE: On 8/30/63, a dedicated phone from the White House to the Kremlin, commonly called the Hot Line, went into operation.

Write This Down, Too: On 8/30/91, Mike Powell (USA) broke Bob Beamon's 23-year-old long jump record, jumping 29 feet, four and one-half inches at the World Track and Field Championships in Tokyo. Carl Lewis, who had the six best series jumps ever in the meet, took the silver medal.

AND IN THIS CORNER: It ain't the Cubans. Cuba's national boxing federation announced Wednesday they will not be sending a team to Chicago this October, in an effort to avoid defections.

Knockout Punch: This follows the defection of two Cuban boxers, Guillermo Rigondeaux and Erislandy Lara, at the Pan-American Games in Rio de Janeiro earlier this summer. Both have since returned to Cuba, after deciding a professional boxing career - which they are prohibited from pursuing in Cuba - wasn't worth having their family's heads over-nighted to them in mason jars.

From The Dept. of Good Intentions: Cuba, of course, has the boxers best interests at heart, announcing they are doing this so as not expose their boxers to "traffickers" who would try to lure them with promises of such nonsense as food and running water.

Point/Counterpoint: As Cuban citizens, however, Rigondeaux and Lara are entitled to all the free health care they can handle.

WHY DO PEOPLE GO IN MINES ANYMORE?: Showing the kind of pluck that shows just how lazy we Americans are, two Chinese miners didn't sit around feeling sorry for themselves when the illegal coal mine they were working in near Beijing collapsed on 8/18/07. They dug themselves out.

Name Game: Surviving on, and we are not making this up, coal and their own urine, brothers Meng Xianchen and Meng Xianyou refused to give up hope when they heard rescuers stop digging for them.

Meng Xianchen said it was his thoughts of his family that pulled him through.

"I have two children and my wife is ugly," he said. "It would be hard for her to remarry."

Comments? Complaints? Recipes? Email The Writer's Shack Here!


Return To The Writer's Shack!