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The Daily Dose/July 7, 2008
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
The Photo Dept. called in sick. They will return.
Notes from around the Human Experience...
OH HELL: An American named Joey "Jaws" Chestnut won the 93rd Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest on the Fourth of July at Coney Island, New York. It was Chestnut's second straight victory in the competition. Second was a small Japanese man named Takeru "Tsunami" Kobayashi, who had won the previous six titles.
Overtime: Both men had scarfed down 59 hot dogs and buns in ten minutes, necessitating a five hot dog "eat off", which Chestnut won by downing five hot dogs before Kobayashi. Competitors are allowed to down their hot dogs however they see fit, and most competitors eat the wiener and the bun separately and some will dunk them in water first, so they go down easier.
What The Hell's Going On Here: I dunno. Call me a traditionalist. A hot dog eating contest where contestants are allowed to separate the wiener from the bun is not very American. I'm sorry. It is simply an exercise in who can stuff the most hot dog components in the face in a certain period of time.
Uh, Wasn't That The Whole Point? Well, yes. We are ready to concede that. But we have some experience in these matters, or used to have, rather, and the fun from overeating - which can be enormous - comes from eating whatever you are eating in its common form. For a hot dog, that means a wiener in a bun. Plus your favorite condiments.
Now, I take a back seat to no man in appreciation of a hot dog. They are tasty, especially with mayonnaise and onions, though I realize few others enjoy mayonnaise with their their hot dogs, but I put mayonnaise on my morning coffee so get over it.
Belch: Now, hot dogs are, of course, lousy nutrition, some of the absolute worst things a human can put in their body. Your average hot dog has about 300 calories, none of them any good, and almost 20 grams of fat, meaning the top two finishers each ingested about 18,000 calories - a little more than a weeks worth of calories for an average-sized man - in ten minutes.
In A Hand Basket!: Proving that this country's descent to the fifth ring, fourth level is well underway if not almost complete, roughly 30,00 people attended this year's contest and an estimated 1.5 million people, - including the staff of the Writer's Shack, who happened to be near a tee vee tuned to the event and had no choice - had nothing better to do than watch it.
FatFunFact: 7-11, the nation's largest retailer of freshly grilled hot dogs, sells about 100 million hot dogs every year.
Wait, One More: It also sells over 150 million Slurpees a year.
This Is What Interns Are For: Even though the store celebrates its birthday on July 11 (7/11), it's name came from it's original business hours: 7am to 11pm.
We Are Not Making This Up: Winnipeg, Manitoba, which is in Canada, sells the most Slurpees. Detroit is second.
Oh, Jesus H: Among other things, 7-11 sells more USA Today's, cold beer and money orders than anyone else.
A Final Thought: There is actually an international governing body for competitive eating, the International Federation of Competitive Eating, sorta like FIFA is the international governing body for soccer. It recognizes world records for eating not only hot dogs, but also things like pizza, ice cream and mayonnaise.
You're Kidding Me, Right? No. I wish we were, but we're not. Something named Oleg Zhornitskiy actually ate four 32-ounce bowls of mayonnaise in eight (8) minutes.
On This Date, Two Days Ago: With the July 4 column being set in 1776, we were unable to mention this, because it happened in 1908, which came after 1776, and therefore hadn't happened yet.
Get To The Point: On July 4, 1908 Hooks Wiltse of the New York Giants threw the second extra-inning no-hitter in major-league history, in a ten-inning, 1-0 victory over Philadelphia. The only blemish came with two outs in the bottom of the ninth inning when he hit Phillies pitcher George McQuillan. This followed a two strike pitch that everybody but the home plate umpire thought was a strike.
Editors Note: The Writer's Shack is pleased to present a look back at the 1908 Chicago Cubs season, in honor of the fact this is the last season they won the World Series.
SIX IN ONE, THREE IN THE OTHER: After splitting six games - five in Pittsburgh and one in Chicago - the Cubs open up a three game series at West Side Grounds against Brooklyn, losing the opener 5-4.
Meanwhile: Those goddamn Pirates pulled one out in the ninth, beating Philadelphia 2-1. The Pirates have won 10 out of 13 and are a game-and-half up on the Cubs and the Giants in the National League.
FunFact: The Pirates game at Chicago on July 5 was their only road game in the period beginning on July 2 and ending on July 24.
Hey, Let's Be Rock Stars: On this date, in 1957 John Lennon and Paul McCartney meet for the first at church, of all places, in Liverpool, England after a show by John's van. No word on whether Paul was there for vespers or to meet chicks.
THEY DO THESE THINGS UP THERE: An Oregon man flew across most of Oregon and into Idaho riding a lawn chair carried by balloons Saturday. No apparent motive, outside of enjoying some peace and quiet, was given.
Kent Couch left his gas station in the central Oregon town of Bend early in the morning and landed in a pasture outside of Cambridge, Idaho 235-mile away about 3:45 P.M. Pacific time.
Dry, Technical Matter: Couch and his 400-pound lawn chair was kept loft through the efforts of 150 large, helium filled balloons. For altitude control he had three 15 gallon drums containing - for reasons we're sure Couch thought good, or maybe profitable - Cherry Kool-Aid he could dump out when he needed to go highter. To descend Couch carried a BB gun and a blow gun with steel darts to pop balloons.
Dept. Of At First Not Succeeding/Third Time's A Charm: This was Couch's third attempt. Last year he could only get as far as eastern Oregon, and, two years ago, he had to bail out while still in Oregon after popping too many balloons. Fortunately, Couch take a parachute with him.
Answer To The Last Trivia Question: The Brooklyn National League team was known as the Atlantics, Grays, Bridegrooms, Grooms, Superbas, Trolley Dodgers, Dodgers and Robins before becoming the Dodgers for good in 1932.
Today's Trivia Question: What group was John Lennon playing with the night he met Paul McCartney? - Answer next time!
Threats? Recipes? Trivia question answers? Email The Writer's Shack Here!
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