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The Daily Dose/May 6, 2010
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
Notes from around the Human Experience...
RUN SILENT, RUN DEEP: The US Navy recently announced the first women will report for duty on its submarines in 2012, the first women to be admitted after over a century of being a male-only club.
Diesel Boats Forever: We'll be honest, we generally enjoy passing judgement and issuing half-baked opinions on matters we some zero experience in, however we are pleased to report we have some experience in these matters, having served on the USS Blueback (SS 581) years ago.
Get Your Official Writer's Shack Policy Right Here: It's all right with us. Women have shown they can do most things better than men anyway and modern submarines are significantly bigger than the Blueback - a modest bachelor pad had more room than the Blueback - and can provide the privacy chicks require, though maybe not the ten feet of workbench required to hold all the crap required to do their hair, although most of that crap wouldn't be allowed in the controlled atmosphere environment of a submarine anyway.
History Lesson: Back in the day the only time women put to sea was after extensive refit periods when women shipyard workers, who kind of resembled men anyway, would go out for a few days to make sure their repairs were good, and when spouses and parents would go out for a day on Dependent's Cruises.
History Lesson II: Women have been serving on submarines since 1985 when the Royal Norwegian Navy opened their hatches to them. The Royal Danish Navy followed in 1988 and the Swedish, Australian and Canadian later followed suits. But this is the first time a real navy has allowed women to serve on submarines.
Hey Baby: One drawback is you'd hate to be at battle stations and then boy/girl issues take over and eyes meet across a crowded, darkened control room and then the next thing anybody knows they've arranged to meet for coffee in crews mess after battle.
Hubba-Hubba: The Navy said there would be a minimum of three (3) women on every integrated submarine.
IRONY WATCH: MSNBC recently ran a segment featuring a guy who wrote an magazine article saying how fat America is.
Super Size Me: This is great. A tee vee network offering a segment that lets fat America sit down and watch a segment about how fat it is. That is worse than reading a magazine article about fat we are.
FunFact: The average American watches five hours of tee vee a day. Over the course of a 75-year life this comes out to over 15-and-a-half years of tee vee watching.
FunFact II: Depending on you believe, the average American also consumes between 3,700 and 4,000 calories a day.
Following are some tidbits from yesterday which didn't make it into the On This Date segment. That is the official story. There might be some truth to the rumor we might have had our dates mixed up when writing today's column. We do, however, categorically deny we were merely looking to fill column inches.
THIS IS NICE, BUT THEY STILL CAN'T VOTE: Mary Kies becomes the first woman to be awarded a US patent on May 5, 1809 for a technique for weaving straw with silk and thread, a technique very useful in the making of hats.
In The Nick Of Time: Kies' patent came at a fortuitous time because Napoleon being at war with most of Europe was hindering US imports and her technique was instrumental in making profitable work bonnets.
Uh-Oh: Kies was not able to profit from her invention, however, and died penniless in 1837.
Viva Mexico! In the Battle of Puebla, Mexican troops halt an invasion by French troops on May 5, 1862. Exactly why this is a cause for Americans to drink heavily is still not clear.
A Moment Of Silence: What will eventually become Memorial Day is celebrated in the United States for this first time on May 5, 1866 in Waterloo, New York. Originally known as Decoration Day, it was first called Memorial Day in 1882.
We now return you to exciting On This Date Action for today, May 6.
Don't Tread On Me: Arkansas secedes from the Union on this date in 1861, becoming the ninth state to join the Confederate States of America. Tennessee would follow suit the following day and North Carolina would join them a couple of weeks later.
In Other War Between The States News: Also on this date in 1861, Richmond, Virginia was declared the Confederate capital.
Higher, Stronger, Frencher: The Eiffel Tower opens to the public on this date in 1889. It is the tallest building in the world and would remain so until 1930, when it will be surpassed by the Chrysler Building in New York.
The On This Date feature continues its year-long tour of the major league baseball record book.
Play Ball: The Chicago White Sox establish the major league record for fewest at bats by a team in a nine-inning game, managing only 23 official at-bats in a 3-0 loss to the St. Louis Browns in the second game of doubleheader on this date in 1917.
Really Dry, Technical Matter: Since a team gets 27 outs per game, it is rare when the number at-bats is fewer than 27. Part of the reason can be found in the fact that St. Louis' Bob Groom pitched a no-hitter against the White Sox. Maddeningly, there is precious little information on this game, but it is plain four White Sox got on base without being charged an official at-bat, either by drawing a walk, getting hit by a pitch or getting on base via catcher's interference, and then got erased on a double play or caught stealing.
Sort Of FunFact: This record was equaled by the Cleveland Indians in 1961 and the Detroit Tigers in 1968.
More Dry, Technical Matter: Combined with the fact he pitched two hitless innings in the first game of the doubleheader, Groom is one of the few players to throw more than nine hitless innings in one day.
Oh, Jesus H: The day before Ernie Koob of the Browns also no-hit the White Sox, although when Koob walked off the field he thought he had a one-hitter. The official scorer changed a ruling from a hit to an error after the game.
As Long As Your History Books Are Out: This is the only instance in major league history where teams have thrown a no-hitter and been no-hit on consecutive days.
Oh The Humanity: The German passenger airship The Hindenburg explodes while attempting to land in Lakehurst, New Jersey. 36 people are killed.
Dry, Technical Matter: The Hindenburg was making the first of ten schedules trips from Europe to the US. Though only about half full on the first leg, the return trip was fully booked.
Oh The Humanity II: Bob Hope performs his first USO show for American troops on this date in 1941 at March Field in Riverside, California.
Despite the fact he's been dead since 2003, Hope still performs a couple of dozen shows a year for the troops. Nobody can tell the difference.
Chariots Of Fire: Running in Oxford, England, native son Roger Bannister becomes the first person to run one mile in less than four minutes, running it in 3 minutes 59.4 seconds on this date in 1954.
Can We Get To The Point? When the PA announcer announced the record, he first announced Bannister as the winner, then what colleges he had attended, that a new meet and track record had been set and that, subject to ratification, an:
English Native, British National, All-Comers, European, British Empire and World Record. The time was 3..."
That's as far as he got before being drowned out by the crowd.
Thought For The Day: The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win. - Roger Bannister
Answer To The Last Trivia Question: There wasn't a trivia question last time, silly. Remember?
Today's Stumper: What building did the Eiffel Tower surpass as the world's tallest building? - Answer next time!
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