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The Daily Dose/February 3, 2010
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
Notes from around the Human Experience...
LEADING OFF: McDonalds introduced a new product this month, rolling out a cousin to the Big Mac called the Mac Snack Wrap. It's not a whole lot different from the Big Mac, with the three-part sesame seed bun being replaced by a flour tortilla.
Oh, Jesus H.: This is disturbing on a variety of levels.
To Hell In A Hand Basket: On the human level, good gravy, are we so lazy now that we can't even muster the two hands required to eat a regular Big Mac? Or do we need to keep the second hand free so we can stuff our super sized French fries down our throats between bites of our Mac Snack Wrap?
Quotebook: Meanwhile, in the boardroom, this from McDonald's CEO James Skinner during a investors conference call:
The Mac Snack Wrap is a snack version of our Big Mac…
Could You Repeat That Please? A "snack version" of the Big Mac? What in the hell is going here? Were consumers demanding this? Is there a segment of the fast food demographic that is now being served by the introduction of a Big Mac snack that was being ignored before? Does humanity really need two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles and onions wrapped in a tortilla? Mexicans, to the best of our knowledge, haven't even been demanding this.
God, We Love CorporateSpeak: Skinner continued:
…it fits well in to our growing snack day part or as an add-on to a meal and certainly can be eaten on the go.
Oh Jesus H. II: An add-on to a meal? A double Quarter Pounder and large fries, home of 1,200 calories and 67 grams of fat on there own, requires a 330 calorie "add-on"?
This Is Certainly The Pot Calling The Kettle Black: This is rich coming from us. In the old days it was not the Upset of the Year to roll into McDonalds for our own double Quarter Pounder - or, better yet, two of them - plus large fries and even some McNuggets for funsies, too. We're out of that racket now, though, giving us the street cred required to preach on the evils of overeating.
Dry, Technical Matter: Street cred is key in the rough and tumble world of hack Internet columnists.
As Long As We're In The Neighborhood: Is there a reason McDonalds never did onion rings? We seldom eat at McDonalds anymore, though we have more than our share breakfast sandwiches containing sausage over the years, so we really don't care too much, but we like onion rings - a lot - and we've thought about this from time to time over the years.
FunFact: According to Skinner, McDonald's is now the number one seller of coffee in Germany.
DIGGING IN: Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow Tuesday, so there will be six more weeks of winter. The US National Climatic Data Center estimates that Phil is correct about 40 percent of the time.
Get Your Official Writer's Shack Policy Right Here: We're okay with this years prediction. We live in a place with very easy winters and can handle six more weeks of winter as a matter of course, though I was obliged to scrape some frost or something off my windshield one morning this month.
HOT OFF THE PRESSES: Massachusetts issues the first paper money in the colonies on this date in 1690.
Yeah, But Have You Paid Your Poll Tax Yet? The Fifteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution is ratified on this date in 1870. It guarantees the right of citizens to vote regardless of race or previous condition of servitude. Unless you were woman. They weren't guaranteed the right to vote until 1920.
Dry, Technical Matter: The Fifteenth Amendment was the last three Reconstruction Amendments ratified after the Civil War. The Thirteenth Amendment abolished slavery and other forms of involuntary servitude and the Fourteenth Amendment guaranteed the privileges of citizenship to former slaves and provided due process and equal protection under the law for them.
Another Treasured Constitutional Moment: The Sixteenth Amendment to the Constitution, authorizing the federal government to assess and collect an income tax, passes on this date in 1913.
It's The Cold: The lowest temperature ever recorded in North America, - minus 81.4 degrees Fahrenheit - is recorded on this date in 1947 in Snag, Yukon. This breaks the previous record set the day before in Snag, when the temperature reached minus 80 degrees Fahrenheit.
Cold Hard Facts: Besides being the name of truck, Yukon is a territory of Canada. It borders Alaska which is a state.
More Dry, Technical Matter: Canada is a country, located north of the United States.
The Day The Blank Died: On this date in 1959 a plane crash in a corn field near Clear Lake, Iowa kills Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, J.P. Richardson, known as the Big Bopper, and the pilot. Waylon Jennings gave up his seat to Richardson because Richardson had a sore throat and didn't want to ride in the bus that normally transported the musicians during the tour.
News From Down Under: Ronald Ryan is hanged at a prison in Melbourne, Australia on this date in 1967, the last person to be executed in Australia. Originally convicted of robbing butcher shops, Ryan and an accomplice escaped from prison in December, 1965, killing a prison official in the process. He was recaptured 19 days later and later convicted of the prison officials murder.
And Now An Opposing Viewpoint: Texas executed Karla Faye Tucker on this date in 1998, the first woman to be executed in the United States since 1984.
Shameless Plug: If you haven't checked in at the Official Writer's Shack message boards, we encourage you to do so. We could use some fresh blood, frankly. In a special introductory offer that won't last forever, post three times and get a special bonus post with our compliments.
Thought For The Day: …the category of what might have been is already too crowded. - Gore Vidal, Creation
Answer To The Last Trivia Question: Hartford and Louisville are the two original National League cities that no longer have major league baseball teams.
Today's Stumper: Of Buddy Holly, The Big Bopper and Ritchie Valens, which one had the biggest hit on the Billboard Hot 100? - Answer next time!
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