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The Daily Dose/July 1, 2011
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
Notes from around The Human Experience...
CAPSULE MOVIE REVIEW: Transformers: Dark of the Moon: Regular readers of this crap may well rais an eyebrow that we saw this movie and friends, you ain't the only ones. We were surprised too, however it was penance issued by The Woman after some forgotten - and no doubt imagined - transgression.
This Just In: We went in with a lousy attitude, too. We don't really have the imagination for these types of movies, which is rich coming from the people that produce this crap, not to mention The Bottom Ten, and we were expecting the very worst, a calamity from the very start.
Upset #1: But it wasn't too bad. The 3D effects were, and we do not throw this word lightly, incredible. There enough genuinely funny - as opposed to stupid - lines to keep you laughing and it was almost touching to see Buzz Aldrin, the second human to set foot on the Moon, introduce himself to a transformer as a fellow space traveler, and to see the robot be genuinely respectful of Aldrin.
Upset #2: We found ourselves liking Shia LaBeouf, the human star. We were prepared not to. Based solely on his gay, lightweight name - not to mention our ignorance of anything having to do with acting - we were prepared to dismiss him. That would have been our loss, because Shia delivered his funny lines really well and overall turned in an entertaining performance.
More Lame Gushing: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley was perfect - perfect! - as the witless, anorexically thin, inevitably blonde love interest. We also enjoyed Patrick Dempsey, and that older, stately gray haired lady who appeared in most of the same scenes he did and we think we used to see in some soap opera, not that we watch soaps, because we don't, dammit.
Is There A 3D Version Of Basic Instinct Out There? We're Just Curious: Ms. Huntington-Whitely looks really, really hot, though, in 3D walking up some stairs wearing only a man's dress shirt.
Yawn: The movie was way too long, though, checking in at just over two-and-a-hours. And the final battle scene was way too long, too, and we found ourselves having been sufficiently entertained just a few minutes after it began.
But the movie had some genuinely funny moments, was fairly well acted and the 3-D technology was stunning, and the few scenes that occurred on the Moon had us really thinking we might be there. We enjoyed that.
Standard Internet Disclaimer: Gaylon is not a movie buff, much less a professional movie reviewer. His thoughts are subjective, generally uninformed and are not based on established cinematic standards. For reference, some of his all-time fave movies are Fletch, Precious and The King's Speech.
We Interrupt This Column For A Word From The Ratings Department: Following is the Official Writer's Shack rating scale:
EX - Excellent; the very best the Human Experience can produce in every respect.
VG - Very Good. Well worth your time.
GD - Good. Worth your time.
AR - All Right. Not completely without merit.
SP - Nothing of substance; a steaming pile, utterly without merit.
Final Ranking: AR. We found entertaining enough. We're not going to see it again and it will probably be forgotten in a week or two, but if you enjoy movies and are all right with cars turning into robots and don't mind seeing Chicago destroyed, you could find worse ways to spend three hours.
PLAY BALL: The first college baseball game is played on this date in 1859, as Amherst College defeats Williams College 73-32 in 25 innings in Pittsfield, Massachusetts.
Breakdown Segment: In 1859, there were one out innings, the bases were 60 feet apart and the batter stood halfway between home and first base. The pitcher was 35 feet away, threw underhanded, and was expected to deliver a ball the batter could hit.
Oh Yeah: At the same time as the baseball game, a chess tournament was held. History records that Amherst won that, too.
Great Moments In Canada: Canada becomes an independent nation in the British Commonwealth on this date in 1867. The Province of Canada is divided into Ontario and Quebec, and New Brunswick and Nova Scotia, also British colonies, become Canadian provinces as well.
Beauty, Eh: Other great Canadian moments occurring on this date include: Canada joining the Universal Postal Union (1878), being the starting point for the first international telephone call (New Brunswick to Maine, USA, 1881), being linked to Bermuda by telegraph cable (1890), suspending all Chinese immigration (1923), celebrating the 100th anniversary of Canadian independence (1967) and having the good sense to name the lovely song O Canada its national anthem (1980).
Going Postal: Zip Codes are introduced for US mail on this date in 1963.
No, This Doesn't Make Us Feel Old At All: The Sony Walkman is introduced on this date in 1979. Long before the age of digital music, the original Walkman was a small cassette player.
Daddy, What's XXX Mean? The PG-13 rating is introduced by the movie industry on this date in 1984. It joins G, PG, R and X.
Thought For The Day: There was the powerful impulse of vanity, a motivation which has never had its due recognition in historical works. - William E. Woodward, The Way Our People Lived
Answer To The Last Trivia Question: Larry Corcoran of the Chicago Cubs, then known as the White Stockings, was the first major league player to throw three no-hitters in a career, doing so in 1880, 1882 and 1884.
Today's Stumper: What were the next two provinces/territories to join Canada after its independence? - Answer next time!
Comments? Recipes? Complaints? Email the Writer's Shack here!
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