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The Daily Dose/August 1, 2008
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
Notes from around the Human Experience...
THIS IS GREAT…THANKS GUYS! Thanks to the Chinese limiting Internet access to the world's reporters, members of the world's press are free to focus exclusively on the splendor of the Beijing Games, without having to be bothered by what those rascals at Amnesty International, Reporters Without Borders or those losers in Tibet or Taiwan are thinking.
Thanks, Kevin, Way To Stick Up For A Free Press: The IOC press chief, Kevin Gosper, who we sentenced yesterday to stand in the corner for negotiating the Internet blockade with the Beijing organizers, is now sentenced to going to bed without his supper:
"It's clear that I have been providing, on behalf of the IOC, incomplete information."
Is Anybody Surprised? Most people will do what is in their best interest, and groups of people, like the IOC, aint no different. A smooth Olympics is in their best interest, and, since not enough people really care about Tibet or a free press to do much of anything about it, nothing, except for some hack Internet columnists getting their feathers ruffled, will be done.
Is Anybody Boycotting The Opening Ceremonies? Not really. Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, the attractive-in-an-older-world-leader kind of way, German Chancellor Angela Merkel and British Prime Minister Gordon Brown aren't going, though it should be noted Brown, as leader of the next host nation, is obliged to attend the Closing Ceremonies. And Prince Charles, always a friend of the Dali Lama, long ago announced he had no intention of going.
What The Hell's Going On Here? Times change. A talk of a boycott never really took hold anywhere. But there was a time when Olympic boycotts were par for the course. The 1956 Melbourne Games had not one, but two boycotts. First, the Dutch, Swiss and Spaniards stayed away because they were annoyed at the Soviets for crushing the Hungarian Uprising, and the Cambodians, Egyptians, Iraqis and Lebanese stayed home protesting the Suez Canal crisis. Since nobody really cares about these countries athletically, nobody really cared. Also, every Summer Olympiad from 1976 through 1988 was boycotted.
And While We're At It: Broadcasting from Tiananmen Square will be limited to six hours per day and no interviews will be permitted.
FROM OUR TONGA DESK: After generations of absolute power, the family currently headed by King George Tupou V of Tonga has yielded to pro-democracy wishes of his 112,000 or so subjects. Effective immediately, he will assent to more or less whatever the Prime Minister wants. This is good news for democracy lovers everywhere. It's nice that 112,000 more people will be able to elect their own legislators, just like Alaskans elected Senator Ted Stevens, who was indicted this week for making false statements on official government financial disclosure forms in an attempt to allegedly hide more than $250,000 in gifts from an oil-services company. Stevens also steered more than $50 million in government funding to non-profit group run by a former aid.
But We Digress: George V became King in 2006 following the death of his father, Tupou IV, though his official coronation isn't until today. Like other hereditary monarchs who yield absolute power in their country, like the Sultan of Brunei, the family owned many state owned concerns that George V recently sold.
Let Freedom Ring: Following the death of Tupou IV, some of those nasty democracy riots we hear about from time to time broke out in the capital of Nuku?alofa and destroyed anywhere from two-thirds to three-quarters of the capitals central business district.
A Leisurely Pace: Tongans certainly aren't in a rush to do anything. It took two years after the riots for for George V to cede and a new parliament won't be elected until 2010.
This Really Happened:Tonga once lost about $26 million King Tupou IV had - and we are not making this up - given to his court jester to invest for him. The funds were proceeds from citizenships that had been sold to Hong Kong residents prior to Hong Kong reverting to Chinese control. His court jester was an American businessman, and this case was recently settled with the jester agreeing to pay $1 million.
Dry, Technical Matter: Tonga is a nation consisting of 170 islands in the South Pacific. It is a about a third of the way between New Zealand and Hawaii.
More Dry, Technical Matter: Hawaii is one of the 50 states, admitted to the Union in 1959.
I HAVE A DREAM: The first slaves from Africa arrive in Jamestown, Virginia on this date in 1691. One of mankind's great atrocities gets off to a low-key start when a Dutch ship, damaged in a battle and in a later storm, arrives in Virginia in need of repairs. Virginia settlers, in need of labor what with disease, malnutrition and war with those pesky Indian keeping the pool of white, able-bodied laborers short, agree to trade ship repairs and supplies in exchange for the slaves. Slavery would exist in the US until the 13th Amendment to the Constitution was ratified in December, 1865, and blacks still get screwed in this country on a daily basis.
Editor's Note: Throughout the summer, On This Date is pleased to take a look back at the 1908 Chicago Cubs season, because that was the last season that ended in a Cubs World Series victory, and we love celebrating centennials as much as the next guy.
What The Hell's Going On Here II? After winning the first four games of the series, the Cubs give up two early touchdowns and lose to the Braves 14-0 at South End Grounds in Boston. The Cubs explode for five hits and the only time they get a runner to second is when a player touches it returning to the dugout. It will be the Cubs worst loss of the year, and the seventh and last time they give up ten or more runs in a game.
Elsewhere In The National League: Those stinking, first-place Pirates defeated Brooklyn 5-2 to move a game and a half ahead in the National League. The Giants keep pace with a 5-1 victory over the Cardinals.
Up Next: Following a day off, the Cubs begin a four-game series in Philadelphia on Aug. 3.
The Long And Winding Road: Recall the Cubs don't return home until Aug. 15. From Philadelphia they go to New York for three and Pittsburgh for two.
From The Nazi's To The Communists: On this date, in 1936, the Games of the XI Summer Olympiad opened in Berlin, Germany.
Somebody Should Have Given Him A Post Office Application: On this date, in 1966, and several hours after killing his mother and wife, 25-year-old malcontent, sniper and former marine Charles Whitman kills 14 and wounds 31 shooting from observation deck of the main administrative building at the University of Texas at Austin. Whitman would later be shot and killed by police and an autopsy would show Whitman had a brain tumor, which some say could have affected his mental stability and led to his killing spree.
Oh, Jesus H: MTV begins broadcasting on this date in 1981.
Holy Living Fuck: On this date, in 1996, American sprinter Michael Johnson breaks his own 200-meter world record at the Atlanta Olympics. Johnson's time was 19.32, which may well be as fast as any human being has ever run. 19.32 for 200 meters is equal to two 9.66 100 meter runs, well below the 9.84 100 meter world record on that date in 1996, and still below the current 100 mark of 9.72 seconds.
Uh-Oh: On this date, in 2007, the I-35 Bridge in Minneapolis, spanning the Mississippi River, collapsed. 15 people died. A replacement was scheduled to open by the end of the year, however construction is running ahead of schedule and may well be ready by September.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY REPRISE: This species could have been so great, and now everybody just wants a new Salad Shooter or sneakers with lights in them. This is what we've settled for. - George Carlin
Answer To The Last Trivia Question: In Alcatraz's 29 years, there were 14 escape attempts involving 34 inmates. Of the 34, five remain unaccounted for: Theodore Cole and Ralph Roe from a 1937 attempt, and Clarence and John Anglin and Frank Morris, from a 1962 attempt made famous by the book and film Escape From Alcatraz. All are presumed dead.
Today's Stumper: The Chicago Cubs have been in Chicago since for 132 years, since the National League's founding in 1876. What National League team, current or defunct, spent the second highest number of years in one city? - Answer next time!
Threats? Recipes? Trivia question answers? Email The Writer's Shack Here!
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