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The Daily Dose/January 28, 2010
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
Notes from around the Human Experience…
TEST...TEST…IS THIS MIC ON?: Just what the Internet, and your life, needs: more content! The Daily Dose is back from another of our famous, audience-depleting hiatuses, not appreciably better, but at least we have the benefit of being familiar and we're certainly well rested.
Are You Sure You're Just Not Teasing Us? No, we're back. Our book project is done. Swords in the Narthex - AKA The Great American Novel - has been entered in a contest and soon we will start the humiliating process of trying to get it published!
For Planning Purposes, Moving Forward: In deference to our just-completed hiatus, we do not anticipate taking our usual February hiatus.
WHILE YOU WERE OUT: Official Writer's Shack fave the Mount Union Purple Raiders football team played for their eleventh NCAA Division III football championship last month, meeting the Wisconsin-Whitewater Homos for the fifth consecutive year in the Amos Alonzo Stagg Bowl.
Unfortunately, they lost! We are not making that up. Official Writer's Shack faves are chosen in large part for their ability to win because do have the self-esteem here to follow losers, but Wisconsin-Whitewater won their second national title with a 38-28 victory.
God This Hurts: While Mount Union has a 3-2 record against Wisconsin-Whitewater in the national championship game, Wisconsin-Whitewater has actually won two of the last three Stagg Bowls.
Dry, Technical Matter: Mount Union also lost D-III title games in 2007 and 2003.
CAPSULE MOVIE REVIEW: Precious: Based on the Novel Push By Sapphire: We don't see many movies here at the Writer's Shack. But when we do, we usually see a good one, our last one being - we're pretty sure - Slum Dog Millionaire, which we thought was about as good as the medium can get.
Extra! Extra! Read All About It!: Add Precious to the list, campers. Good gravy this was good. The movies deals with the light, entertaining subject matter of a girl, Precious, who twice gets impregnated by her father and is living with her mother, Mary. Mary hates her daughter for ruining her life and her biggest goal for Precious is to see her join her on welfare and to encourage Precious, mainly by throwing things at her, to cook her pig's feet with collard greens.
Precious gets kicked out of school because she's pregnant, but ends up in a special program that ends up doing her some good.
The Envelope Please: This movie overflows with really good performances. Detailing all of them is beyond the scope of Capsule Movie Review, of course, but we do want to issue props to Mo'Nique, who played Mary. She was so convincing that had we not known better we would have sworn the role was being played by an actual welfare mother. Whoever is in charge of these things should make an award called The Greatest Performance in the History of Acting Award, present it to Mo'Nique and then retire all other acting awards forever. Mo'Nique was that good.
Cupid, Draw Back Your Bow: On a warm, personal note we fell in love with two actresses in the film, Paula Patton, who played a teacher of Precious, and Stephanie Andujar, who played a student in Precious' class. To insure we're not moral lepers, we researched Ms. Andujar's age and she is in he 20's, well older than the child she was portraying.
Standard Internet Disclaimer: Gaylon is not a professional movie reviewer. In fact, he isn't even a film buff, usually only attending movies when his girlfriend or his friend Jeffery pester him enough to attend one and is not particularly qualified to offer a substantive opinion on the technical merits of a particular film, though this doesn't always stop him from doing so.
We Interrupt This Program For A Word From The Ratings Department: Following Is The Official Writer's Shack Rating scale:
EX - Excellent; as good as the medium can produce in every respect.
VG - Very Good. Well worth your time.
GD - Good. More or less worth your time.
AR - All Right. Not completely without merit.
SP - Nothing of substance; a steaming pile, utterly without merit.
Final Rating: EX. Go see Precious now. Right now. When History gets around to chronicling the very best the film medium has produced, Precious will be on the list.
GOING BACK, AWAY BACK: On this date, in 1521, the Diet at Worms, in was is now Germany, opened. It would be a few months before they got around to their main business of dealing with that rascal Martin Luther and his 95 theses.
Long Live The King...Until Now: On this date, in 1547, Henry VIII, King of England, dies. He was 55. Despite having six wives, succession was a snap because he had only one legitimate son, Edward, who could inherit the throne. Edward was nine and he would die in 1553, at the age of 15.
Those Zany British: An Englishman named Walter Arnold became the first person ever convicted of speeding on this date in 1896, fined one shilling (plus court costs) for traveling at 8 mph, well over the posted speed limit of 2 mph in East Peckham.
"Uh-Oh": The space shuttle Challenger broke up 73 seconds into its tenth mission on this date in 1986. All seven astronauts, including the teacher civilian in space, died. Investigation revealed the cause was an O ring which didn't seal which caused various technical and mechanical problems that resulted in Challenger disintegrating.
Quote That Sucker: Fortunately NASA administrators were right on top of matters.
"Flight controllers here are looking very carefully at the situation. Obviously, a major malfunction." - Steve Nesbitt, NASA Public Affairs Officer.
Last Call: No one will ever be entirely sure what killed the astronauts. It is believed they were still conscious when Challenger broke up because it didn't explode it disintegrated and it is thought to be likely the crew died when the crew compartment hit the ocean at 207 mph.
A Day Late And A Dollar Short: Speaking of great moments in NASA, the Apollo 1 spacecraft was destroyed by fire during a launch pad test on yesterday's date in 1967. Three astronauts died, the Apollo program was delayed 21 months, though it is generally, and sadly, agreed that the resulting changes made to the Command Module greatly enhanced the safety of the Apollo program.
Thought For The Day: Oh, what low joke was Fortuna playing on her now? Arrest, accident, job! Where would this dreadful cycle ever end? - John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces.
Trivia Question: Of Henry VIII's six (6) wives, which one bore him King Edward? - Answer next time!
Comments? Recipes? Complaints? Email the Writer's Shack here!
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