The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 8
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
October 22, 2015
In ye olden times, when a king was vanquished on the field of battle, the winning general took the crown.
So it is in the Bottom Ten, where the Chicago Bears assume the throne after losing to the previously un-victoried Detroit Lions in overtime.
The Lions win throws the race for the Dan Henning Trophy - symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy - into complete chaos as no less than five (5) teams have one win and 13 - 13! - teams have two (2) wins.
This week's imbroglio, as the nags approach the backstretch:
1. Chicago Bears (2-4; lost to Detroit 37-34 OT) - Bears ascend top spot after snapping Lions opening five-game skid with clutch OT road loss…Bears can use upcoming bye week to rest for another crucial NFC North fiasco vs. Vikings…Next Loss: Minnesota (11/1)
2. Kansas City Chiefs (1-5; lost to Minnesota 16-10) - Led by leading rusher that gains almost 100 feet, Chiefs offense continues to mail it in, punting on first six (6) possessions…With Lions win, current five (5) game skid best in NFL…Next Loss: Pittsburgh
3. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-5; lost to Houston 31-20 ) - Leading 14-10 heading into final period, Jaguars turn on afterburners, getting outscored 21-6 to secure loss…Three (3) interceptions, including two (2) in final period, perform usual magic…Next Loss: vs Buffalo, at London, England
4. Detroit Lions (1-5; defeated Chicago 37-34 OT) - Lions go from B-10 darlings chasing 0-16 (again) to just another one-win team with problems following first victory of 2015…Despite win, Lions taking solace in they still rank Dead Last in NFL in Rushing Offense…Next Loss: Minnesota
5. Tennessee Titans (1-4; lost to Miami 38-10 ) - Defending B-10 champions getting no love at all in 2015, still not on medal stand despite convincing loss in battle of one-win juggernauts…B-10 medal stand hopes could take big shot in the arm with blowout loss this weekend to good Falcons team…Next Loss: Atlanta
6. Toronto Blue Jays - Canadian baseball team hanging tough before losing Friday to America's Royals in ALCS…Blue Jays first Canadian baseball team to be ranked in B-10 since 1910 Regina Bone Pilers finished last in Western Canada League …Next Loss: Game 6 Friday night
7. Indianapolis Colts Fake Punt (0-1) - B-10 pollsters - depite the reopening of their bar tab - no closer to discovering what in the hell Colts were thinking than you are…First specific play to make B-10 survey since Garo Yepremian's pass in Super Bowl VII made the medal stand.
8. NFC North (12-11) - Despite dominance of AFC South and division being paced by 6-0 Packers, with two (2) teams on B-10 medal stand, NFC North easy pick for weekly Pete Rozelle Award, issued to league's worst division.
9. NFL - Hey guys, 18 of your 32 teams - 56 percent - have only one (1) or two (2) wins, meaning more than half the teams in your league suck...With participation in youth football starting to decline, some offshore bookies taking action on whether you will be around in a couple of generations.
10. Kansas City Royals - They'd rather clinch at home anyway…Currently planning logistics of importing hookers from Love Ranch to go Lamar Odom on New York Mets pitching staff before start of World Series…Next Loss: Our Royals are never losing again
This Week's Clash of the Titans: Buffalo vs Jacksonville, at London, England
This Is Don Criqui Reporting:Pittsburgh at Kansas City
Comments? Recipes? Complaints? Contact the Writer's Shack here!