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Gaylon Kent
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The Diary of a Nobody
I write so you will remember it the rest of your lives.
There is no other reason to do it, folks.
None whatsoever.
Copyright, 2013, Gaylon Kent, All rights reserved.

I write so you will remember this the rest of your lives.
There is no other reason to do it, folks.
None, whatsoever.
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Friday February 6
One thing about this job is it is difficult to make plans for after work…Today was a great example of that…It's Winter Carnival weekend in town and generally it's fun to go and watch some ski jumping and have dinner and generally enjoy the atmosphere.

And if today were a normal day we would've been able to do that…However, we picked up a couple of Freddie's stops in Town A…Route 22 didn't run this week, so Freddie got stuck with a lot of them and he asked if we could take a couple of his Doily Dispensing Machines for him and I said sure, of course…One of them gave me problems, too, insisting it was empty even tho I had just stuffed it with doilies and we were over an hour behind schedule as we headed out of Town A…So instead of getting back to town about 7 or so and being able to enjoy some quality Winter Carnival time because you can never really see enough live ski jumping we got back to town about 9 or so.

We swapped trucks at the end of our route, too, Freddie forking over is beloved truck, which is identical to the one I crashed last month, and taking possession of our 072404 with non-working running lights.

Aaron, Freddie's driver and a pretty good guy, said it was a "death trap" and the dashboard looked like a Christmas tree with all the warning lights that were on, including the engine light and a triangle that no one seems to know the significance of, but it got us back home safely and it will be nice to have a drum truck again.

It's called a drum truck because you enter it from a door on the side…You walk up a couple of steps and you are in a drum and you turn the door of the drum and you get access to the inside…For ultimate security there's a thingy that reads your palm which in turn lets you rotate the drum door, but that is disabled for some reason.

Today's first world problem concerns the heater in the back of the truck: it only has two settings: "Gobi Desert" and "Off"…You can either bake, or freeze and compounding the tragedy the control isn't in arms reach of where you're sitting, you have to undo your seat belt and lean forward, a violation of company policy while the truck is moving.

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The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously.

Copyright 2013-14, Gaylon Kent, all rights reserved. Only excerpts for a review may be used in any form without Gaylon Kent's express written consent, just like on NFL telecasts.
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The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 7

By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack

October 15, 2015

One of the quaint Bottom Ten traditions is members of the 2008 Detroit Lions - the NFL's only 0-16 team - breaking open the champagne after the last NFL team wins their first game.

This year the 2008 Detroit Lions must be beaming with pride as the 2015 Detroit Lions are the NFL's last winless team at 0-5, ready to make a mockery of the race for The Dan Henning Trophy, as if that's possible.

This week's imbroglio, as the nags stumble their way through the clubhouse turn:

Detroit Lions (0-5; lost to Arizona 42-17) - Lions fans, thirsty for yet another 0-16 campaign, up in arms over benching of QB Matt Stafford, wondering "For who?"…Offense teams up for four (4) interceptions, two (2) fumbles and 57 yards rushing…Next Loss: Chicago

San Francisco 49ers (1-4; lost to New York Giants 30-27) - After losing three (3) games by an average of 26 points, 49ers show they can lose close ones, blow leads, by giving up go-ahead touchdown to Giants in final minute…49ers making big pitch for Worst One-Win Team Not In AFC South designation…Next Loss: Baltimore

 Kansas City Chiefs (1-4; lost to Chicago 18-17) - Chiefs strut medal stand stuff, blowing 17-3 halftime lead…Kicking game key in second half, as Chiefs have FG blocked, miss another as time expired and punted four (4) times…Chiefs current four (4) game skid first since doing it twice in 2012…Next Loss: at Minnesota

 Jacksonville Jaguars (1-4; lost to Tampa Bay 38-31) - Jaguars continue to impress B-10 pollsters with ability to come from ahead, turning 24-20 third quarter lead into 38-24 fourth quarter deficit…57 rushing yards, two turnovers do usual magic…Next Loss: Houston

New Orleans Saints (1-4; lost to Philadelphia 39-17) - Defense taking game balls home in this one, giving up 519 yards, including a 186 on the ground…Game not as close as score indicated as Saints outscored 29-0 before scoring touchdown on final play as Eagles headed to locker room…Next Loss: Atlanta (10/15)

Houston Texans (1-4; lost to Indianapolis 27-20) - Rushing game humming on all cylinders, with Texans putting three (3) runners across magical "double digit" plateau…Helmets still nice combination of team colors, mad cow disease…Next Loss: at Jacksonville

Denver Broncos (5-0; defeated Oakland 16-10) - Generally regarded as the worst 5-0 team in NFL history, B-10 fans lamenting missed opportunities that precluded one (1) or two (2)-win start, but remain hopeful for strong second half…Next Loss: at Cleveland

AFC South (6-13) - Takes weekly Pete Rozelle Award, issued to NFL's worst division…40 percent of Week 6 NFL B-10 made of division or its teams…NFL, looking to increase international brand awareness, hoping to play future divisional games in Lebanon or Finland since nobody in AFC South divisional cities - or London - wants to see them.

Tennessee Titans (1-3; lost to Buffalo 14-13) - Titans show mettle you'd expect from defending B-10 champions, losing first one (1) point game of 2015 (2015)…Three (3)-game losing streak tied for best in AFC South…Next Loss: Miami

Kansas City Royals (95-67; American League Central Champions) - With Game 5 of division series occurring after B-10 deadline, B-10 pollsters confident Royals will sweep Rangers in American League Championship series…Next Win: 2105 World Series

This Week's Clash of the (Tennessee) Titans:
 Miami at Tennessee

This Is Don Criqui Reporting:
 Houston at Jacksonville

This Isn't Going To Be Any Good Either:
Chicago at Detroit

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