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Gaylon Kent
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The Diary of a Nobody
I write so you will remember it the rest of your lives.
There is no other reason to do it, folks.
None whatsoever.
Copyright, 2013, Gaylon Kent, All rights reserved.

I write so you will remember this the rest of your lives.
There is no other reason to do it, folks.
None, whatsoever.
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Friday February 6
One thing about this job is it is difficult to make plans for after work…Today was a great example of that…It's Winter Carnival weekend in town and generally it's fun to go and watch some ski jumping and have dinner and generally enjoy the atmosphere.

And if today were a normal day we would've been able to do that…However, we picked up a couple of Freddie's stops in Town A…Route 22 didn't run this week, so Freddie got stuck with a lot of them and he asked if we could take a couple of his Doily Dispensing Machines for him and I said sure, of course…One of them gave me problems, too, insisting it was empty even tho I had just stuffed it with doilies and we were over an hour behind schedule as we headed out of Town A…So instead of getting back to town about 7 or so and being able to enjoy some quality Winter Carnival time because you can never really see enough live ski jumping we got back to town about 9 or so.

We swapped trucks at the end of our route, too, Freddie forking over is beloved truck, which is identical to the one I crashed last month, and taking possession of our 072404 with non-working running lights.

Aaron, Freddie's driver and a pretty good guy, said it was a "death trap" and the dashboard looked like a Christmas tree with all the warning lights that were on, including the engine light and a triangle that no one seems to know the significance of, but it got us back home safely and it will be nice to have a drum truck again.

It's called a drum truck because you enter it from a door on the side…You walk up a couple of steps and you are in a drum and you turn the door of the drum and you get access to the inside…For ultimate security there's a thingy that reads your palm which in turn lets you rotate the drum door, but that is disabled for some reason.

Today's first world problem concerns the heater in the back of the truck: it only has two settings: "Gobi Desert" and "Off"…You can either bake, or freeze and compounding the tragedy the control isn't in arms reach of where you're sitting, you have to undo your seat belt and lean forward, a violation of company policy while the truck is moving.

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The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously.

Copyright 2013-14, Gaylon Kent, all rights reserved. Only excerpts for a review may be used in any form without Gaylon Kent's express written consent, just like on NFL telecasts.
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The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 4

By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack

September 24, 2015

Oh the humanity!

The NFL hasn't even had its first domestic violence arrest of the young season and already the Bottom Ten is in complete turmoil as the entire medal stand, not mention #4 Cleveland, came up with Week 2 wins, proving the old adage that on any given week any NFL team can lose to any other NFL team.

The catastrophe at the top paved the way for the Baltimore Ravens to leap eight (8) big notches to the top spot, as the race for the Dan Henning Trophy - symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy - promises to be as fierce as ever.

This week's fiasco, as the nags limp past the grandstand for the first time:

Baltimore Ravens (0-2; lost to Oakland - Oakland! - 37-33) - Ravens show B-10 mettle, overcoming four (4) deficits and still losing…Defense snatches defeat from jaws of victory, allowing go-ahead touchdown in game's final minute …Next Loss: Cincinnati

Chicago Bears (0-2; lost to Arizona 48-23) - Consistent Bears give up 14 points in each of first three (3) quarters, before, with loss already in hand, calling it a day…Bears offense settles down in second half, producing four (4) drives of three (3) plays…Next Loss: at Seattle

Seattle Seahawks (0-2; lost to Green Bay 27-17) - B-10 pollsters "mostly sure" Seahawks first team in "like, ages" to appear in consecutive Super Bowls and then appearing on B-10 medal stand…Showdown with Chicago this week will show if Seahawks are for real or not…We already know the Bears are…Next Loss: Chicago

Detroit Lions (0-2; lost to Minnesota 26-16) - Lions show importance of running game to B-10 aspirants, gaining only 38 yards on the ground while giving up 199…Lions 0-2 for seventh time this century…Next Loss: Denver

 AFC South (2-6) - Takes weekly Pete Rozelle Award, issued to NFL's worst division…Division currently paced by defending B-10 champs (Tennessee) and team that started 2014 0-10 (Jacksonville).

New York Giants (0-2; lost to Atlanta 24-20) - Giants showing the type of character that leads straight to B-10 glory, losing both games by a total of five (5) points…Offense showing the way, producing a turnover and two (2) punts in final three drives before ending game by turning ball over on downs…Next Loss: Washington (9/24)

Indianapolis Colts (0-2; lost to New York Jets 20-7) - Offense sets tone, with five (5) turnovers and five (5) drives of ten yards or less…Colts another team that can establish strong B-10 street cred with loss this week…Next Loss: at Tennessee

Houston Texans (0-2; lost to Carolina 24-17) - Managed to avoid 2-0 starts of last two (2) seasons, but Texans still need loss this week to really solidify B-10 chances in the minefield that is the AFC South…Next Loss: Tampa Bay

Houston Texans at Carolina Panthers - First candidate of 2015 for B-10 Game of the Year honors, as Texans and Panthers thrill nation with 15 punts while showing mastery of fundamentals, combining for 20 (20) penalties.

Philadelphia Eagles (0-2; lost to Dallas 20-10) - God showing revenge for cutting disciple Tim Tebow, as Eagles still winless…Game not as close as score indicated, as Eagles waited until fourth quarter to get around to scoring…Next Loss: at New York Jets

This Week's Clash of the Titans:
 Chicago at Seattle

This Is Don Criqui Reporting:
Indianapolis at Tennessee

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