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Gaylon Kent
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The Diary of a Nobody
I write so you will remember it the rest of your lives.
There is no other reason to do it, folks.
None whatsoever.
  
Copyright, 2013, Gaylon Kent, All rights reserved.

I write so you will remember this the rest of your lives.
There is no other reason to do it, folks.
None, whatsoever.
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Friday February 6
One thing about this job is it is difficult to make plans for after work…Today was a great example of that…It's Winter Carnival weekend in town and generally it's fun to go and watch some ski jumping and have dinner and generally enjoy the atmosphere.

And if today were a normal day we would've been able to do that…However, we picked up a couple of Freddie's stops in Town A…Route 22 didn't run this week, so Freddie got stuck with a lot of them and he asked if we could take a couple of his Doily Dispensing Machines for him and I said sure, of course…One of them gave me problems, too, insisting it was empty even tho I had just stuffed it with doilies and we were over an hour behind schedule as we headed out of Town A…So instead of getting back to town about 7 or so and being able to enjoy some quality Winter Carnival time because you can never really see enough live ski jumping we got back to town about 9 or so.

We swapped trucks at the end of our route, too, Freddie forking over is beloved truck, which is identical to the one I crashed last month, and taking possession of our 072404 with non-working running lights.

Aaron, Freddie's driver and a pretty good guy, said it was a "death trap" and the dashboard looked like a Christmas tree with all the warning lights that were on, including the engine light and a triangle that no one seems to know the significance of, but it got us back home safely and it will be nice to have a drum truck again.

It's called a drum truck because you enter it from a door on the side…You walk up a couple of steps and you are in a drum and you turn the door of the drum and you get access to the inside…For ultimate security there's a thingy that reads your palm which in turn lets you rotate the drum door, but that is disabled for some reason.

Today's first world problem concerns the heater in the back of the truck: it only has two settings: "Gobi Desert" and "Off"…You can either bake, or freeze and compounding the tragedy the control isn't in arms reach of where you're sitting, you have to undo your seat belt and lean forward, a violation of company policy while the truck is moving.

Read More At The Diary of a Nobody Homepage

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously.

Copyright 2013-14, Gaylon Kent, all rights reserved. Only excerpts for a review may be used in any form without Gaylon Kent's express written consent, just like on NFL telecasts.
 
   
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The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 3

By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack

September 16, 2015

It's full speed ahead for the usual Bottom Ten suspects, as Washington retains their preseason number one ranking, impressing Bottom Ten pollsters with their ability lose games where they actually play pretty well, key in the heated race for the Bottom Ten medal stand.

This week's mess, as the nags limp out of the starting gate:

1.
Washington Redskins (0-1; lost to Miami 17-10) - Redskins show mettle of B-10 champions, allowing one touchdown and only 74 yards rushing and still losing …Redskins show special teams fully one-third of game, securing loss by allowing fourth quarter punt return for TD…Next Loss: St Louis

2.
Jacksonville Jaguars (0-1; lost to Carolina 20-9) - Strong second half key, as Jaguars, keyed by turnovers, turn on afterburners, getting outscored 10-0…With loss Sunday, Jaguars can start season 0-2 for fourth (4th) consecutive season…Next Loss: Miami

3.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-1; lost to Tennessee 42-14) - Tampa Bay gets ruining of new QB off to great start with blowout loss to defending B-10 champs…Already trailing 35-14 at half, Buccaneers put game on ice in third quarter, punting on first three (3) possessions…Next Loss: at New Orleans

4.
Cleveland Browns (0-1; lost to New York Jets 31-10) - Four fumbles and an interception insure Browns get quest for first B-10 title off to flying start…B-10 pollsters "virtually certain: Browns first team in a "really long time" to rush for more than 100 yards (104) and still have more penalty yards (109) than rushing yards…Next Loss: Tennessee

5.
AFC North (1-3) - Easy pick for Marv Levy Broach, issued to AFC's worst division…Division currently paced by B-10 regulars Cincinnati, everybody else winless…Next Loss: Status as NFL division, as league looking to farm them out, but Sun Belt Conference doesn't even want them.

6.
NFC North (1-4) - Claims first Ray Malavasi Pin of 2015, issued to NFC's worst division…While unlikely Bears, Lions and Vikings will all finish season winless, B-10 pollsters hoping for best…Or worst, in this case…Gets nod over NFC East, despite East having Tony Romo quarterbacking one of its teams.

7.
Oakland Raiders (0-1; lost to Cincinnati 33-13) - Game not as close as score indicates, as Raiders don't score till game safely out of reach, trailing 33-0…Like five (5) of last six (6) predecessors, new coach Jack Del Rio establishes immediate street cred with Raiders fan(s) desperate for B-10 title by losing first game…Next Loss: Baltimore

8.
 Baltimore Ravens (0-1; lost to Denver 19-13) - Ravens still not entirely sure how they annoyed schedule maker, starting season with consecutive trips to Western time zones...Fortunately, game vs. Raiders actually looked at more of a vacation than regular league game…Next Loss: at Oakland

Editor's Note: faced with deadlines and bar tab that was about to be shut off, there are only eight (8) teams ranked this week.


This Week's Clash of the Titans:
 Detroit at Minnesota

This Is Don Criqui Reporting:
Miami at Jacksonville

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