Editor's Note: The Daily Dose is on hiatus for a while as Gaylon works on a project. It will return.

Funny, thoughtful commentary from around the Human Experience. Includes On This Date, Trivia and the Thought for the Day.


August 17 -
Capsule County Fair Review!
August 16 -
RIP Washington Generals
August 10 -
Some thoughts on the Aurora theater shooters sentences
August 9 -
You can't tell the candidates without a scorecard
August 6 -
The real issue at the heart of the Planned Parenthood debate
August 2 -
 Capsule Aircraft Carrier Review!

July 31 -
Lots of great stuff! Trust us!
July 27 -
Cut and paste the last mass shooting column
July 20 -
El Chapo, Pluto and Apollo!
July 19 -
Records that will and will not be broken
July 16 -
Back on the lamb!
July 14 -
 New Horizons! Pluto!
July 12 -
Can we get some straight talk, please?
July 10 -
Jeb Bush and the American worker
July 9 -
Evangelical Chirstians and gay marriage 
July 6 -
Uber vs. a taxi

June 23 -
 Here we go again
June 13- 
Louis L'Amour and the national debt

May 31 -
The Department of Justice scorecard!
May 21 -
How much do we want our government to do for us?
May 7 -
The shooting in Garland, Texas and how America has completely lost its mind.

March 29 -
Business 101
March 5 -
More Death Penalty Fun!
March 1 -
Some Thoughts On Net Neutrality

February 16 -
Be Fruitful And Multiply...Or Not. Plus Some Death Penalty Crap
February 15 -
The Economy Is Still In The Tank
February 12 -
Military Force, The Constitution, And Thou
February 9 -
 This Planet Has Gone Completely Bonkers
February 3 -
 Vote Early, Vote Often: The Latest From Gaylon For US Senate
February 1 -
Capsule Book Review! Capsule Book Review!

January 26 -
 Capsule Restaurant Review! Capsule Restaurant Review!
January 23 -
DeflateGate And Where Were The Game Officials?
January 22 - 
The State of Our Union
January 18 -
 Can A Nation Conceived In Liberty Do Anything Else?
January 15 - 
How Much Do We Want Our Government To Do For Us?
January 14 -
Read My Column: No New Taxes
Janury 12 -
 A Peaceful America, A Peaceful World
January 8 -
The Carter Criteria
January 3:
Go Congress!

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The 2015 Bottom Ten
Week 7: NCAA NFL
Week 6:
NCAA NFL
Week 5:
NCAA NFL
Week 4:
 NCAA NFL
Week 3:
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Week 2:
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Week 1:
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Copyright, 2013-15, Gaylon Kent, All rights reserved.

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Current Month    2015    2014
   
 

The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 9

By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack

October 28, 2015

We've said this before: the second decade of the 21st century might well be looked back on as the Golden Age of the Bottom Ten. Considering the Doube Aughts produced two (2) 20-game losing streaks by Duke, that is saying an awful lot.

2015, however, might be the deepest field ever. Now, Bottom Ten pollsters have been saying that for the past few years, but with 13 teams with zero (0) or one (1) win and twelve (12) juggernauts that have lost at least five (5) consecutive (consecutive) games, they might have a point.
 
This week's mess:

1. New Mexico State (0-7; lost to Troy 52-7)
Mitigating Factors: Blowout loss, nation's best 17th straight defeat more than enough to ensure Aggies remain team to beat, literally, in race for B-10 title…With game already in hand at halftime trailing 45-7, Aggies call off the dogs in second half, only getting outscored 7-0…Defense showing the way to B-10 glory, ranking 120th or worse in four (4) stat categories, including Dead Last in Scoring Defense (49.0 ppg)
Three Man Weave:
Team so bad athletic website homepage already leading with basketball player profiles, chick equestrian team updates.
Next Loss: Idaho

2. Kansas (0-7; lost to Oklahoma State 58-10)
Mitigating Factors: Rock, chock Jayhawk loss as Kansas retains medal stand spot with routine, conference road massacre...Total team effort as offense produces nine (9) punts, two interceptions and a safety, while defense allows 33 first downs…Current ten (10)-game skid best since 2012 squad lost last eleven (11) games after winning opener.
We'll Leave The Light On For You: B-10 marketing department pleased to announce Jayhawks first-ever recipient of Motel 6 Award - issued to team with nation's longest road losing streak...Currently at 33 games, Jayhawks have not won on road this decade, with last road win coming at UTEP in 2009.
Next Loss: Oklahoma

3. North Texas (0-7; lost to Marshall 30-13)
Mitigating Factors: Mean Green show determination to retain spot on B-10 medal stand, taking drama out of this one early with 24-0 second quarter deficit…North Texas, as usual during their B-10 runs, a statistical juggernaut, ranking 100th or worse in 16 official NCAA stat categories, including 120th or worse in eight (8)… Mean Green fan(s) counting on team's B-10 pedigree to maintain spot on B-10 medal stand, as remaining opponents have only a .333 winning percentage in 2015.
Behind The 8 Ball: Current eight (8)-game skid best since 2008 squad started season 0-8.
Next Loss: UT-San Antonio

4. Central Florida (0-8; lost to Houston 59-10)
Mitigating Factors: Knights fan(s) crying foul as nation's only 0-8 team left on outside of B-10 medal stand looking in…Offense takes some of pressure off defense early, allowing fumble to be returned for touchdown on third play of game….Offense still sputtering on all cylinders, ranking Dead Last in Total Offense (257.6 ypg) and Rushing Offense (58.3 ypg) and Next-To-Next-To-Dead Last in Scoring Offense (15.0 ppg)
Light At The End Of The Tunnel:
Knights just three (3) losses away from second 0-11 season ever (2006).
Next Loss:
at Cincinnati

5. Eastern Michigan (1-7; lost to Northern Illinois 49-21)
Mitigating Factors: Trailing 35-0 at half, Eagles unable to preserve shutout - and impress B-10 pollsters - outscoring Northern Illinois seventh string 21-14 in second half…Eagles another team with tough road to B-10 glory, as remaining opponents in always-tough MAC have combined .259 winning percentage…Link on football homepage goes to Recruiting Questionnaire page with first question asking "What percentage of future Taco Bell earnings will you donate to keep EMU losing tradition alive?"
Speaking Of Tradition: 2009 B-10 runners-up keeping tradition alive in second decade of 21st century, having lost 39 of last 46.
Next Loss: Western Michigan (Oct 29)

6. Louisiana-Famous Dead Person (3-11;
UL-Lafayette: lost to Arkansas State 37-27; UL-Monroe: lost to Idaho 27-13)
Mitigating Factors:
Hilarious joint entry, thrown in for laughs last week, shows B-10 mettle with two losses in always-tough Sun Belt Conference…UL-M shows running game key to B-10 glory, ranking 123rd in Rushing Offense and 120th in Rushing Defense…Showdown this week for Billy Cannon Certificate - symbolic of Louisiana B-10 supremacy - and automatic spot in B-10 regionals…Due to depth of 2015 B-10 field, loser of this game might find it tough to break into survey with own entry.
OTOH: Both teams have New Mexico State remaining on schedule, so strong showings could propel Louisiana-Famous Dead Person to first ever B-10 medal stand finish. 
Next Losses: UL-Lafayette: UL-Monroe; UL-Monroe: at UL-Lafayette

7. Miami, Ohio (1-7; lost to Western Michigan 35-13)
Mitigating Factors: Somehow leading 10-7 after first quarter, Miami takes advantage of rare opportunity to practice blowing leads, getting outscored 28-3 the rest of the way…Nobody is scores fewer points than the RedHawks, who rank Dead Last in Scoring Offense (14.4 ppg)…Though anything can happen in zany MAC, RedHawks can claim no worse than a share of Tostitos Plaque - issued to team with longest losing streak in a season that actually includes a win - by losing out.
FunFact: With only win in 2015 coming against lower level team, RedHawks have not beaten major division team that finished season with winning record since beating Ohio in 2012.
Next Loss: Buffalo (Oct. 29)

8. Cheyney (0-8; lost to Shippensburg 70-7)
Mitigating Factors: 40th straight loss ensures Division II Wolves keep paws on Continental Cup - issued to team with longest all-division losing streak in NATO…Wolves fan(s) beaming after beloved team finally notches first 40-game losing skid, erasing ghosts of 1994-98 skid that was snapped after 39 games…Only blemish on shutout was second quarter touchdown pass…Wolves losing games by an average score of 53-8.5 in 2015, significant improvement over 2014's 43.5-8.63 margin.
FunFact: B-10 pollsters "pretty sure" Wolves first team to have two (2) 63-point losses in same season they lose 40th consecutive game since Tijuana Tech in 1973.
Next Loss: West Chester

9. Mid-American Conference
Mitigating Factors: Though non-conference mark not as bad as Sun Belt's - nobody's that bad - MAC takes B-10 Conference of the Week honors based on having three teams who have lost at least five (5) consecutive games…Seven of 13 MAC teams have losing records, including three (3) teams with only one win.
FunFact:
 MAC also 0-7 in 2015 against teams ranked in AP Top 25.

10. SMU (1-6; lost to South Florida 38-14)
Mitigating Factors: Four (4) turnovers - including one on a kickoff return - help solidify fifth straight loss…Defense chips in, too, giving up six (6) scores in red zone in six (6) opportunities…Mustangs could make some noise in B-10 stretch drive, as remaining opponents have .667 winning percentage in 2015.
Quality Loss Department: Mustangs get nod for final B-10 spot over UMess by virtue of strength of schedule points as only win came against North Texas.
Next Loss: Tulsa

This Week's Clash of the Titans:
 UT-San Antonio at North Texas

Sun Belt Conference Thriller of the Week:
 UL-Monroe at UL-Lafayette





































































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Sunday October 18
The Wife and I went for a walk today and ended up inside a house for rent a block down for us...The house is, at least, 8o years old while 80 years ago occupants would've marveled at the indoor plumbing, it would not be a very functional house right now…The stairs are very narrow and are mostly between two walls and don't have the handrails that become more and more important as you get older…Plus, the only bathroom is on the ground floor, also important as you get older, especially if your sleeping on the top floor and have to negotiate fun house stairs to get there.
The young couple that bought it was out staining the deck and said they've had some calls on it, but nothing has worked out so far…I forgot to ask how much they're asking for it.

Also on the walk we ran into a mom, Becky, out for a walk with her kids…One was a girl scout with an order form The Wife - an old girl scout herself - spotted from more than a block away…We thought it was for cookies, but no, it was for nuts and other assorted stuff like that…The Wife ordered some stuff that was chocolate covered and shaped like daisies, while I ordered some whole cashews, which I dearly love.

When we knocked off work Friday night we didn't know what we would be in store for Monday because our truck was being towed back to the branch…Well, Keith called me today and said we are driving to Town A Monday morning to pick one up that someone from Route 21 is driving up.

This means we will have to be on the road by 6am and ol' Sparrow will miss his now-treasured workout, but I will take the opportunity eat really well...I am almost down a notch on my belt and I am highly motivated to make it so I can get down a couple of more notches.

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The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously.

Copyright 2013-14, Gaylon Kent, all rights reserved. Only excerpts for a review may be used in any form without Gaylon Kent's express written consent, just like on NFL telecasts.

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