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The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 1
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
Residing squarely at the intersection of Squalor and Depravity, next door to the Raiders, Bottom Ten pollsters haven't put in a complete season since 2007. We think. We're not entirely sure.
This year, though, B-10 pollsters promise to give you your moneys worth, devoting themselves completely to delivering the witless commentary you've come to expect from the NFL Bottom Ten.
And the race for the Dan Henning Trophy will be more wide open than many people think. Sure, the Rams and Lions will blow, and plot Tampa Bay's progress the past couple of years and you have a perpendicular line, but teams like Oakland and Washington are capable of playing some of the worst professional football on the planet in any given week, making B-10 pollsters think the 2010 B-10 race could be anybody's ballgame.
The preseason poll, as the nags fester at the starting gate:
1. St. Louis Rams (1-15) - Preseason isn't even over yet and already the Rams have lost their leading wide receiver for the year and it is no state secret that it is going to take awhile before new franchise QB Sam Bradford makes Rams fans forget Kurt Warner, or even Deiter Brock…Opening Loss: Arizona
2. Detroit Lions (2-14) - Lions show how hard it is to repeat in the NFL today, falling from 2008's historic 0-16 darlings to just another two-win team with holes to fill in 2009…Opening Loss: at Chicago
3. NFL Bottom Ten - Showing how hard it is to repeat in NFL, B-10 pollsters fail to complete season for second consecutive year, though pollsters swear they will go the distance in 2010!
4. Houston Texans (9-7) - Team not too bad, but those mad cow inspired helmets are still the second-ugliest thing in NFL, trailing only the new Soldier Field…Opening Loss: Indianapolis
5. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-13) - Acting like he wants a Bottom Ten award named after him, Bucs coach Raheem Morris takes team that won nine games without him in 2008 and turns them into a three-win juggernaut…Opening Loss: Cleveland
6. Oakland Raiders (5-11) - Once proud, now bizarre, franchise has not won more than five games in a season since 2002 and B-10 pollsters aren't too optimistic about them bucking that trend this year…Opening Loss: at Tennessee
7. Washington Redskins (4-12) - Showing the consistency that contends for B-10 titles, or would if we could be bothered produce polls for a full season, Redskins had one four-game and two three-game losing streaks in 2009…Opening Loss: Dallas
8. Denver Broncos (8-8) - Broncos ride wave of momentum in 2010 season, recovering from 6-0 start last year to lose eight of last ten and miss playoffs entirely…Opening Loss: at Jacksonville
9. Cincinnati Bengals (10-6) - A B-10 legacy team, defending AFC North champs have had consecutive winning seasons just three times in their history…They're the Bengals…Don't expect a fourth instance this year…Opening Loss: at New England
10. Southern California Sun (20-12) - Just seeing if you are paying attention…Old WFL entry actually was pretty good even if they did dress like Disneyland Matterhorn attendants, winning only two WFL Western Division titles in league history.
Opening Week Clash of the Titans: Cleveland at Tampa Bay
This Is Don Criqui Reporting:Oakland at Tennessee
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