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The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 3
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
It's been a long time since there have been this many "statement" games in the first week of the NFL season, as Detroit let it be known they're not going anywhere, and the Bengals, Rams, Chiefs and Raiders all laid the groundwork for strong runs at the Dan Henning Trophy with inspiring losses.
This week's mess, as the nags break from the starting gate:
1. Detroit Lions (0-1; lost at New Orleans 45-27) - Lions 18-game losing streak, spanning three seasons, so enormous B-10 officials moved to drum up lame award for them, so Lions are first recipient of the Matt Millen Certificate, given to the team with the longest current NFL losing streak…Loss ties 1972-23 Oilers for third worst loss in NFL history…Loss this week will tie 1942-43, 45 Cardinals and 1961-62 Raiders on NFL loss ladder...Next Loss: Minnesota
2. Cincinnati Bengals (0-1; lost to Denver 12-7) - Intent on showing 2008's season ending three game winning streak was a fluke, Bengals show they are standing by should Detroit stumble and win winnable games right off the bat, tipping desperation pass to open Bronco receiver for game winning touchdown in final minute. Next Loss: at Green Bay
3. Cleveland Browns (0-1; lost to Brett Favre 34-20) - Offense gets credit for scoring offensive touchdown, their first since before Thanksgiving..Seven game losing streak modest by current standards, but still impressive. Next Loss: at Denver
4. St. Louis Rams (0-1; lost at Seattle 28-0) - Rams showing early knack for the types of clutch plays that propel teams to B-10 glory when they block a field goal, return it for a touchdown and have it called back for having 12 men on the field…Rams defense responds to this challenge by allowing ensuing touchdown, turning what would've been a 7-7 tie into workable 14-0 halftime deficit. Next Loss: at Washington
5. NFL - League so bad with such disparity fully one half of its teams still have not won a game!
6. New Orleans Saints (1-0; defeated New Orleans 45-27) Saints so bad they were unable to muster double figures in points in all four quarters against Lions team that hasn't won since last Bush Adminsitration! Next Loss: at Philadelphia
7. Kansas City Chiefs (lost at Baltimore 38-24) - Steady as she goes Chiefs have lost five (5) straight dating back to last season…Chiefs actually flirt with victory, being tied as late as early in the fourth quarter, but defense chips in by allowing 21 fourth quarter points. Next Loss: Oakland
8. Oakland Raiders (lost to San Diego 24-20) - Raiders another B-10 perennial managing to pull a Week 1 loss from the jaws of victory countering a 57-yard touchdown pass with 2:34 left by allowing game winning touchdown with 18 seconds left…50-year-old throwback uniforms show Raiders uniforms haven't changed much over the years...Next Loss: at Kansas City
9. Chicago Bears (lost to Green Bay 21-15) - Bears show commitment to strong B-10 run with impressive first half where offense produces zero (0) points, four (4) punts and three (3) interceptions…Linebacker Brian Urlacher, no fool, sees how bad Bears are going to be and dislocates wrist, an injury that woul've caused Dick Butkus to miss two plays, and declares himself out for the year…Next Loss: Pittsburgh
10. Green Bay Packers (1-0; defeated Chicago 21-15) - Despite having four interceptions, Packers still need a 50-yard touchdown in last two minutes to defeat lousy Bears team…Next Loss: Cincinnati
This Week's Clash of the Titans: Oakland at Kansas City - Fans everywhere - well, in most places - salivating over first B-10 showdown of the year!
Let's Screw CBS II: Pittsburgh at Chicago
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: Whoever Detroit's playing.
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