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The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 10
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
B-10 newcomer Western Kentucky passed their stiffest test yet, as the untried Hilltoppers, in their first B-10 stretch run, took no prisoners in a 68-49 loss to the 2007 B-10 champs and 2008 medal stand laureates from North Texas. With the loss, Western Kentucky extends the Nation's Longest Losing Streak (NLLS).
In other B-10 news, Eastern Michigan, formerly part of the Mid-American Conference entry, is now lousy enough to merit its own entry, as is Vanderbilt, last seen in Week 4 as part of the Tri-Lateral Commission entry with Duke and Rice.
Elsewhere, frequent B-10 flier Army had the week off, the better to be rested for their big game this week against Air Force, where a loss by the Black Knights of Confusion will guarantee them the Sgt. Bilko Trophy, symbolic of service academy lousiness.
This week's mess:
Western Kentucky (0-8; lost to North Texas 68-49)
Mitigating Factors: Hilltoppers show heart of B-10 champion, blowing three leads before saying "screw it" and mailing in final quarter with 26 unanswered points in extending NLLS to 16 games…Defense has given up 60 points in a game three (3) times, and the fewest points they've given up to a real team is 30…With 117 total points, game also served as preseason basketball scrimmage.
What The Hell's Going On Here? Despite giving up 130 points the past two (2) games, Hilltoppers still don't rank Dead Last in Scoring Defense, trailing Rice by .27 points per game.
Next Loss: Troy
Rice (0-8; DNP)
Mitigating Factors: Despite not playing, Owls retain B-10 runner up spot based on usual lousy week of practice, studying for exams instead of next opponent and ranking Dead Last in Scoring Defense (45.5 ppg)…Owls also rank no better than 110th in Rushing Offense, Total Offense and Scoring Offense.
This Old House: Bye week gives Maintenance Department time to tarp over more seats at Rice Stadium, bringing total capacity down to 135.
Next Loss: at SMU
Eastern Michigan (0-8; lost to Arkansas 63-27)
Mitigating Factors: Eagles soar into own B-10 entry having lost eight straight and 17 out of 20 and last year had losing streaks of four (4) and five (5) games….Though not the statistical juggernaut that cause B-10 pollsters to achieve and maintain a state of arousal, Eagles do rank Dead Last in Rushing Defense (277.13.ypg) and 118th in Total Offense (275.63 ypg).
Tugging At The Old Heart Strings: Though 0-8 record speaks for itself, Eagles impress B-10 pollsters with 2009 losses to B-10 darlings Army, former B-10 staple Temple and B-10 Hall of Fame charter member Northwestern.
Next Loss: at Northern Illinois
New Mexico (0-8; lost to San Diego State 23-20)
Mitigating Factors: With Miami, Ohio victory, Lobos 12-game losing streak earns them prestigious Avis Award, given to team with second-longest losing streak in country…Lobos also hurt by not ranking Dead Last or Next To Dead Last in any of the NCAA 'glamour categories' that impress B-10 pollsters…In fact, lowest ranking in any category is 118th in not-so-glamorous Kickoff Return category.
Lay Of The Land: Even if - or, rather, when - the Lobos lose out, road to B-10 glory rocky, what with pollsters well-known penchant for Rice and Sun Belt Conference
Next Loss: at Utah
Washington State (1-7; lost to Notre Dame 40-14)
Mitigating Factors: Cougars making strong statement for B-10 medal stand, impressing pollsters with consistency by ranking 110th or worse in the same three (3) offensive and defensive categories (Rushing, Total and Scoring)…Cougar offense sets strong early tone, punting on first five possessions, three of which go three plays, with the other two being aired out for four (4) plays.
Hit The Road Jack: Cougars so bad 1) Student Union only allowed them to play one home game from Sept. 20 till Nov. 14 and 2) Notre Dame refused to play them in South Bend.
Next Loss: at Arizona
Cheney (0-10; lost to Shippensburg 31-10)
Mitigating Factors: D-II Wolves retain stranglehold on Continental Cup - issued to team with longest all-division losing streak in North America - with 27th straight loss…Throw out fluke, 75-yard run, and Wolves averaged 1.6 yards per carry Saturday…While major college season wont end until Dec. 12, D-II season ends next week as teams need to prepare for something called the "playoffs".
On The Threshold: Barring D-III Maranatha Baptist from scheduling, and losing, some extra games in November, Wolves can clinch Continental Cup until start of next season with loss in 2009 finale to Clarion.
Next Loss: Clarion
Vanderbilt (2-7; lost to Georgia Tech 56-31)
Mitigating Factors: Six years after disbanding Athletic Department to better integrate athletes with regular student life, offensive line averages five feet, 165 pounds and is anchored by five Jews who thought they were trying out for the Debate team…On plus side, uniforms now fit better than ever and road trip expense reports are reconciled to the penny, though offense hampered by regulation requiring offensive coordinator to call plays using Socratic Method…Commodores have lost five (5) straight and seven of eight.
Bonus Points: Commodores get big strength of schedule points as only wins have come against Rice (0-8) and I-AA Western Carolina (1-7).
Next Loss: at Florida
North Texas (2-6; defeated Western Kentucky 68-49)
Mitigating Factors: Second win of season leaves 2007 champs and 2008 medal stand laureates scrambling, as win derails both 2009 title hopes, plus breaks six game losing streak, 86ing Mean Green from the race for the Tostitos Plaque - issued to the team with the longest losing streak in a season that actually includes a win.
Media Circus: Despite having won one consecutive game for second time this season, Mean Green website dedicated to hawking basketball tickets.
Next Loss: UL-Monroe
Mid-American Conference Rear Guard: Miami, Akron, Ball State (3-23)
Mitigating Factors: Only W. Kentucky still winless, but three MAC bottom feeders have had losing streaks of six, seven and eight games this season…MAC so bad pace in Eastern Division being set by Temple, which was kicked out of the Big East and won four games from 2003-06, a span that included a 20-game losing streak.
Strong Finishing Kick: With six (6)-game losing streak, 1-7 Akron making strong bid for Tostitos Plaque.
Michigan (5-4; lost to Illinois 38-13)
Mitigating Factors: Wolverines back in survey for first time since historic 2007 run, based on loss to lousy Illini team and having lost four of last five…Wolverines impressive, unable to score on first and goal from the one while trailing 13-7, plus giving up 500 total yards and turning the ball over three times leading to ten Illini points.
Numbers Racket: Wolverines four wins have come against teams that are a combined 16-25 in 2009, though it should be pointed out three of these teams have been good enough to post wins in 2009.
Next Loss: Purdue
This Week's Clash of the Titans: Rice at SMU;
Force Feeding of the Week: Vanderbilt at Florida
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