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  A Vegas Memoir!

   By Gaylon Kent

 
     
 
 
Ever wonder what happens behind the scenes in Las Vegas? Well, find out anyway! Spend a year and a half on the graveyard seurity crew at the Monte Carlo Hotel and Casino on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip!
 
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The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 9
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack

There was some modest shakeup in this week's Bottom Ten, as the College of Cardinals entry, Notre Dame and Anna Maria University, dropped out, and Florida International is now entitled to its own entry.

Otherwise, it was more of the same as the top two spots of the survey remained the same with Western Kentucky and Rice earning usual, blowout losses, as the eyes of the Bottom Ten world are upon Texas this week for one of the biggest games in B-10 memory as North Texas hosts Western Kentucky.

In other news, B-10 pollsters are still awaiting NCAA confirmation, but it appears Indiana State won, breaking the NAFTA regions longest losing streak at 33, meaning the Continental Cup - issued to team with the longest all-division losing streak in North America - has been packed and drop shipped to Cheyney, Pennsylvania.

This week's mess:

1. Western Kentucky (0-7. lost to Middle Tennessee State 62-24)
Mitigating Factors: Juggernaut offense puts up season high in points and gets 100 yards on the ground and in the air, but defense opens floodgates, giving up 646 total yards, extending Nation's Longest Losing Streak (NLLS) to 15 games…WKU only team on planet giving up more than 500 yards a game (509.14), and also ranks Next To Dead Last in Scoring Defense (41.86 ppg) and Rushing Defense (266.29 ypg).
Close But No Cigar: Hilltoppers miss chance for rare B-10 Double-Double Award, as 24 points is highest point total of season, but 62 points allowed is just the second most points allowed in 2009.
Next Loss: at North Texas
 
2. Rice (0-8; lost to Central Florida 49-7)
Mitigating Factors: Owls tune up for B-10 stretch run with total team effort, giving up touchdown on game's first play while offense can't even manage cursory, early interest, starting game with eight (8) punts and three (3) turnovers before putting it all together for fourth quarter touchdown…Owls rank Dead Last in Scoring Defense (45.5 ppg).
Hey, What About Us:
 Offense isn't any good either, ranking 117th in Scoring Offense (14.88 ppg)
Next Loss: at SMU (Nov. 1)
 
3. New Mexico (0-7; lost to Nevada - Loss Vegas 34-17)
Mitigating Factors: Lobos making big push for B-10 medal stand,  losing eleventh straight and giving Rebels first conference road win in two (2) years…Lobos in it until key muffed punt in fourth quarter leads to game-sealing touchdown…68 rushing yards actually fourth best Lobo rushing output of 2009.
Total Team Effort: Lobos lousy at everything, ranking in 110th or worse in two offensive categories (Scoring and Rushing), one defensive category (Scoring), two special teams categories (Punt and Kickoff returns), plus two incidental categories (Sacks Allowed and Turnover Margin).
Next Loss: at San Diego State
 
4. North Texas (1-6; lost to Troy 50-26)
Mitigating Factors: Defense limbers up for this week's B-10 showdown with W. Kentucky allowing season's best 697 total yards…Following 1-0 start, Not So Mean Green in driver's seat in race for Tostitos Plaque - given to the team with the longest losing streak in a season that actually includes a win - with sixth straight loss.
Putting The Special In Special Teams:
 North Texas ranks Next To Dead Last in Punt Returns, averaging 18 inches per return.
Next Loss: Western Kentucky
 
5. Washington State (1-6; lost to Cal 49-17)
Mitigating Factors: Cougars show mastery of fundamentals, mustering 114 penalty yards while rushing for only 55-yards, for an NCAA-best 2.07-to-1 Penalty Yards to Rushing Yards ratio…Cougars have lost four (4) straight and 14 of 16…Cougars rank Dead Last in only one NCAA stat category, Sacks Allowed, giving up an average of five (5) sacks per game.
So Close, So Far Away: Cougar defense a mere 16 inches from giving up an average of 500 total yards a game.
Next Loss:
 Notre Dame (at San Antonio)

6. Florida International (1-6; lost to Arkansas State 27-10)
Mitigating Factors: Owls or Panthers or whatever they're called returning to form, having lost two straight after having B-10 title hopes dashed with victory over W. Kentucky…As usual, "defense" showing way to B-10 glory, ranking 118th in Total Defense (489.86 ypg), 117th in Rushing Defense (239.29 ypg) and 112th in Scoring Defense 34.43 ppg).
Hope: The Final Frontier: With games against B-10 perennial North Texas, not to mention late November force feeding to Florida Gators, on the horizon, FIU still has opportunity to make big B-10 medal stand splash.
Next Loss: UL-Lafayette
 
7. Mid-American Conference
Mitigating Factors: Conference no longer has three winless teams, but B-10 pollsters sympathetic to argument that with tie games no longer possible, someone had to win the Ball State/Eastern Michigan fiasco…Miami, Ohio does its part, maintaining nation's second-best losing streak, losing 13th straight.
Standing Firm: Despite having better non-conference winning percentage than Sun Belt Conference (.258-.227) MAC has inside track for B-10 Conference of the Year award based on having two winless teams with combined losing streak of 20 games.  

8. Illinois (1-6; lost to Purdue 24-14)
Mitigating Factors: With B-10 pollsters shamelessly favoring perennials and legacy teams, Illini chances for medal stand finish slim, though current five-game losing streak put Illini in prime position for strong Tostitos Plaque run…Only win was against I-AA team that itself is only 3-4...Illini have lost nine of ten and are desperately trying to return to form that produced eight (8) wins from 2003-06.
Insert Favorite Tired Old Line Here: Ranks eleventh in conference that only admits to having ten teams in an ironic eleven (11) official stat categories....
Next Loss: Michigan
 
9. Cheyney (0-9; lost to West Chester 59-0)
Mitigating Factors: D-II Wolves new holders of Continental Cup - issued to team with the worst all-division losing streak in North America - with 25 straight losses…Offense shows form that could keep Continental Cup in Cheyney for awhile, mustering just seven (7) first downs, 43-yards rushing and 64 passing yards…Conference and Road losing streaks of 58 and 27 games also tops in NAFTA region.
Getting To Know You: Cheyney College is located in Cheyney, Pennsylvania…They haven't won since beating Lock Haven in September, 2007.
Next Loss: Shippensburg
 
10. Army (3-5; lost to Rutgers 27-10)
Mitigating Factors: Anticipated benefits from new Federal law requiring opponents to drop and give Cadets 20 immediately after snap mitigated by Cadet's insistence on marching in step while blocking on sweep plays…Loss to Air Force - which has a loss in hand to Navy - will ensure Cadets retain Sgt. Bilko Trophy, symbolic of service academy lousiness. 
Forward, March: After starting season 2-1, Black Knights of Confusion have lost four out of five.
Next Loss: at Air Force (11/7)

This Week's Clash of the Titans:
 Western Kentucky at North Texas

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