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The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 1
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
September 1, 2009
Stop the presses!
In what even the drunk idiots that produce this column realize is one of the most significant early season losses in B-10 history, current Continental Cup holder Indiana State, losers of an all-division, hemispheric best 27 in a row, served notice the Cup - issued to the team with the longest losing streak in North America - will remain in Terre Haute for awhile, losing to NAIA Quincy University 26-20 in overtime.
You were probably looking to see the word "power" after "NAIA" in the preceding paragraph, but that would be inaccurate. Indiana State, an official member of the NCAA's second highest football playing division, lost to a small college that is coming off three straight 6-5 seasons!
Elsewhere in the Week 1 survey, most of the usual wingnuts from 2008 should make strong B-10 runs in 2009. Both Washington schools will be in the hunt as should SMU and, as always, we are pulling for Notre Dame and all veteran B-10 watchers know you count out the service academies at your peril.
And there are questions, of course. How many times will the Nation's Longest Losing Streak (NLLS) be snapped? Can Indiana State hold on to the Continental Cup, or will a Canadian team invade and claim it? Which traditional national power will suffer an early season loss and capture a temporary, hysterical spot in a September Bottom Ten poll?
The opening week's mess. 2008 records and final B-10 finish are in parenthesis.
1. North Texas (1-11; 3rd)
Mitigating Factors: Followed up 2007 B-10 title with strong 2008 B-10 medal stand finish…Has not won consecutive games since Nov. 2004…One of the most consistent teams of the last half of this decade, Not-So-Mean-Green has had a nine-game losing streak, two seven-game losing streaks, a four-game losing streak plus assorted three-game losing steaks since appearing in - and, of course, losing - 2004 New Orleans Bowl.
The Stuff That Dreams Are Made Of: Strong foundation of 40 sophomores and red-shirt freshman - key players in three big wins in their two years at UNT - looking to parlay solid foundation into second B-10 title in three years.
Opening Loss: at Ball State (Sept. 3)
2. SMU (1-11; 2nd)
Mitigating Factors: Heartbreak over 2008's runner-up finish mitigated by winning (with Iowa State) of Tostitos Plaque, issued to team with longest losing streak in a season that actually includes a win…Has managed to beat only two (2) major college teams that finished season with winning records in Double Aughts, and one of them was Rice, so that doesn't really count.
No Secrets: Mustangs coming off consecutive one-win seasons for first time since 1994-95 teams went 2-19-1 mark.
Opening Loss: Stephen F. Austin
3. Washington (0-12; 1st)
Mitigating Factors: Defending B-10 champs head into season with full head of steam, following loss to rival Washington State in 2008 B-10 regionals and possession of Nations Longest Losing Streak, 12 games…Huskies have new coach who came from Southern Cal, so a couple of wins are possible, but failure to sign Brett Favre, who was dying to wear purple this fall, will hurt.
Nobody Does It Better: Huskies had two (2) running backs break the vaunted 20-yard-per-game rushing barrier in 2008: Willie "Two Dozen" Griffin (24.3 ypg) and somebody else.
Opening Loss: LSU
4. Army (3-9; 5th)
Mitigating Factors: Current holders of Sgt. Bilko Trophy, symbolic of service academy lousiness…Army Secretary rescinds regulation requiring substitutes to salute coaching staff before entering game, which caused Army to lead NCAA in 2008 with 373 delay of game penalties...Displaying type of Army offensive firepower that shows why we haven't been able to blow Iraq insurgents back to the 5th century, Black Knights of Confusion muster ten or fewer points in six (6) games in 2008...Citadel rebounds from winning three of first four to lose seven of last eight.
Coming Around Again: Army should benefit from new Defense Department directive authorizing Cadet offensive lineman to use flame throwers on opposing defenses during sweeps to the strong side of the field.
Opening Losses: Army: at Eastern Michigan;
5. Sun Belt Conference (5-27 non-conference; 6th)
Mitigating Factors: Perennial B-10 preseason fave usually drops out of survey when conference play starts, but lousy 5-27 non-conference mark actually good for first-ever spot in final B-10 poll…Four of conference's eight teams gave up 400 or more yards every game on defense, and three (3) teams ranked 100th or worse in Total Defense.
You're So Vain: Conference so bad it could only muster a .500 mark in conference play.
Opening Loss(es): Take your pick: Louisiana - Monroe at Texas; Florida Atlantic at Nebraska; Middle Tennessee State at Clemson or Western Kentucky at Tennessee.
6. Indiana State (0-1; Lost to Indiana State 26-20, OT)
Mitigating Factors: I-AA Sycamores get 2009 off to a rousing start with OT loss…Syacmores have lost 27 straight and 51 of 52… Only team in NCAA to run table and produce winless seasons last two years…Sycamores have installed new locker rooms and playing surface at Memorial Stadium, when what they really needed was a new defensive line, which ranked last in I-AA by getting just over half a sack a game.
Anticipation: Sycamores show mettle in opener, coming from head and blowing 17-0 lead.
Next Loss: at Louisville
7. BCS (10th)
Mitigating Factors: Major division national title game participant selector is such a goddamn %$*@ing mess that B-10 pollsters firmly believe the only possible solution is Congressional intervention - or, and we know this is way out there - a playoff!...After relative calm of last year - only Texans were really screwed, honestly - table set for complete chaos this year.
That's The Way I Always Heard It Should Be: Despite success at Division I-AA, II, III and professional levels, BCS still adamant playoff would never work.
8. Washington State (2-10; 7th)
Mitigating Factors: Second half of dynamic Apple Cup tandem not much better, with only wins coming against defending B-10 champion and I-AA team that won four games in 2008…Offense exploded for three shutouts in 2008, and three (3) points in two (2) other games.
Playing Possum: Cougars ranked Next-To-Dead-Last in both Alleged Offense (12.7 points per game) and Scoring 'Defense' (43.85 ppg)
Opening Loss: Stanford
9. Michigan (3-9; 9th)
Mitigating Factors: Upstart Wolverines looking to capitalize on initial, breakout nine-loss season and first ever final B-10 ranking...Head coach Rich Rodriguez so pissed at team he made them practice 24/7 during offseason...Became first team to lose to Toledo and Northwestern in same season since, well, we're not entirely sure, but we're pretty sure it probably hasn't happened too often…Balanced offensive attack produced 147 ypg passing and 143 ypg rushing for NCAA 109th best 290.75 ypg.
Clouds In My Coffee: Wolverines glad to get juggernauts Northwestern and Toledo off of schedule for 2009. Opening Loss: Western Michigan
10. Tulane (2-10; DNF)
Mitigating Factors: Conference USA sleepers have actually lost a respectable eight straight, leaving B-10 pollsters to scratch their heads and wonder why Green Wave wasn't ranked at all in 2008.
Let The Losses Run: Tulane looking for first consecutive two-win seasons since 1995-96…1994 team was even worse, going 1-10.
Opening Loss: Tulsa (Sept. 4)
Opening Week Clash of the Titans: LSU at Washington
These Aren't Going To Be Any Good Either: Entire opening week Sun Belt Conference schedule.
Mark Your Calendars: #2 SMU at #8 (for now) Washington State on 9/19.
Where Have All The Losers Gone: No room at the inn for former B-10 perennials, Duke, Vanderbilt, Louisiana - Famous Dead Person and Rice, although B-10 pollsters have a spot reserved for Duke, who finished 2008 strong, losing their last five.
What The Hell's Going On Here? A variety of Sun Belt Conference games are on pay-per-view. Were not sure why, either.
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