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The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 12
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
Threatening to make a mockery of the Bottom Ten race - which isn't all that difficult, frankly - the Detroit Lions began the second half of their season with a commanding loss, sending hopes of Bottom Ten fan(s) everywhere soaring that this might be the year the Lions become the NFL's first ever 0-16 team.
And though the light of a winless season is starting to appear at the end of the tunnel, the other Bottom Ten contenders are starting to gel and present their credentials for both the B-10 Medal Stand - and the Dan Henning Trophy should Detroit stumble and win.
This week's imbroglio, as the nags head into the far turn:
1. Detroit (0-9; lost to Jacksonville 38-14)
Mitigating Factors: Lions roll to another inspired loss, jumping out to early 7-3 lead before saying 'screw it' and giving up 35 unanswered points…Six of Lions ten drives last three plays or less…Lions not exactly in uncharted waters, having started 2001 0-12…Also started 2006 0-5 and in 2003 actually won opener before steadying course and losing six straight.
Missed It By That Much: Following last week's loss to then-winless Cincinnati, Jacksonville avoids ignominy of becoming first team to lose to two winless teams this late in NFL season since, well, we're not entirely sure, but we're certain it doesn't happen much.
Next Loss: at Carolina
2. Oakland (2-7; lost to Carolina 17-6)
Mitigating Factors: Raiders show B-10 mettle by following up one of worst games in NFL history by intercepting four Panther passes, limiting Jake Delhomme to seven (7) completions and 72 yards and still losing!!!...16 Raider drives lead to eleven punts, two interceptions, two field goals and one missed field goal.
B-10 Medal Stand Credentials: Raiders follow four interceptions with an interception of their own, a punt and two (2) field goals.
Next Loss: at Miami
3. Kansas City (1-8; lost at San Diego 20-19)
Mitigating Factors: Chiefs stay in hunt with close loss on the road, the type of game any B-10 medal stand hopeful must lose…Chiefs miss two two-point conversions, including one with 23 seconds left…They Chiefs went for two because they figured they were going to lose anyway and it's well known that B-10 pollsters reward losses in regulation more than OT losses.
B-10 Medal Stand Credentials: Chiefs have lost last three games by a total of eight points.
Next Loss: New Orleans
4. Cleveland (3-6, lost to Denver 34-30)
Mitigating Factors: Defense key for Browns, with 564 total yards allowed - including 441 on the ground - overcoming a pretty good performance by new QB Brady Quinn…Since winning two straight, Browns have lost three out of four, and are impressing B-10 pollsters with ability to lose the close ones, with the three losses by a combined 10 (ten) points.
B-10 Medal Stand Credentials: Browns twice lead by ten, but still bad enough to lose at home in final minute.
Next Loss: at Buffalo (11/17)
5. San Francisco (2-7; lost at Arizona 29-24)
Mitigating Factors: Niners earn tiebreaker over fellow 2-7 messes Seattle and St. Louis based on divisional-best six-game losing streak…49ers return opening kickoff for touchdown, put up 336 yards offense and still can't score from a yard out in final minute of game.
B-10 Medal Stand Credentials: Like all great B-10 contenders, Niners not only losing the close ones, but coming from ahead to do it, having led Cardinals by eight points at the half.
Next Loss: St. Louis
Caught In The Lint Trap:
6. Cincinnati (1-8) - B-10 pollsters not fooled by first win of season, bye week, as Bengals have usual lousy week of practice.
7. NFC West - Tied with AFC West with 12-24 overall record, but wins tiebreaker by having three teams with two wins to earn Pete Rozelle Cup, given weekly to NFL's worst division.
8. Monday Night Football - Once proud institution relegated to showing 2-7 49ers at B-10 perennial Cardinals, a match-up the NFL once relegated to Mexico!
9. Bottom Ten Social Commentary - Usual, treasured NFL B-10 feature scrapped this week as B-10 staff fairly content with matters.
10. New England (6-3) - Only halfway through season and Patriots have already tripled their loss total from last season, and are tied for first in AFC East with team that won four (4) games last year!
This Week's Clash of the Titans: St. Louis at San Francisco
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: New Orleans at Kansas City
Chet Forte Never Would Have Put Up With This: Cleveland at Buffalo - Another ESPN Monday night thriller!
Comments? Recipes? Complaints? Email the Writer's Shack here!
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