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The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 6
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
One down, three to go.
The Kansas City Chiefs, who had lost 12 straight, cracked under the pressure of playing at home and left the Ranks of the Winless (ROTW), defeating Denver 33-19. Fortunately, there's no shortage of NFL detritus laying around, as St. Louis seamlessly moved into the top spot, and Houston and old faithful Cincinnati still haunt the ROTW.
The Rams showed how serious they were about winning the Dan Henning Trophy that eluded them last year by firing coach Scott Linehan. This surprised some because Linehan was not only losing, but losing big, but veteran B-10 observers know that if the Rams are going to avoid the two game winning streak that took them out of contention last year, they need someone familiar with wholesale losing, which is why former New Orleans Saints coach Jim Haslett, who produced two winning seasons in six years, was brought in.
The nags are well into the clubhouse turn. This week's mess:
1. St. Louis (0-4; Lost to Buffalo 31-14)
Mitigating Factors: Rams issued moral victory for leading at start of fourth quarter, the latest (and only) time they've led all year…Rams first NFL team since, well, we don't really know, to start fourth quarter leading by one and then lose by 17…Rams have lost NFL-best eight straight.
Numbers Game: St. Louis ranks Dead Last in NFL scoring just 10.8 points per game, and Next To Dead Last giving up 36.8 points per game and 411.8 yards per game.
Next Loss: at Washington (10/12)
2. Cincinnati (0-4; lost to Cleveland 20-12)
Mitigating Factors: Bengals get happy faces on playbooks for leading in fourth quarter for second straight game, beatings for losing fourth straight game…Bengals chip in key fourth quarter penalty nullifying game-changing interception.
FunFact: Bengals, surprisingly for a team this bad, do not rank Dead Last in any major NFL stat category, and rank Next To Dead Last only in Total Offense with 231 yards per game.
Next Loss: at Dallas
3. Houston (0-3; lost at Jacksonville 30-27, OT)
Mitigating Factors: Texans show mettle deserving of Top V ranking by overcoming last second, game tying field goal only to lose in OT without ever running an offensive play…Offense not too bad, but it's difficult to overcome defense giving up 33 points a game.
Chamber Of Commerce Moment: Texans so bad fans arranged for hurricane to damage stadium so they wouldn't have to see them at home until October.
Next Loss: Indianapolis
4. Kansas City (1-3; defeated Denver 33-19)
Mitigating Factors: Chiefs show how hard it is to go winless in NFL, as they are unable to overcome four Bronco turnovers…Chiefs, accustomed to giving up over 200 yards on the ground per game, inexplicably give up only 94.
Who Needs Touchdowns? Game featured eight (8) field goals, all of them very exciting.
Next Loss: at Carolina
5. Arizona (2-2; lost at New York Jets 56-35)
Mitigating Factors: Entering game with rare 2-1 record, Cardinals at early season turning point in B-10 run revert to usual, losing antics scoring touchdowns on five straight possessions in second half, racking up 468 total yards, getting 33 first downs and still losing, showing the type of mettle that wins B-10 titles…Cardinal defense does its part, allowing gimpy, old quarterback to throw six (6) touchdown passes.
Cardinal Offense Giveth, Cardinal Offense Taketh Away: Cardinals also lose four fumbles and three interceptions.
Next Loss: Buffalo
Caught In The Lint Trap:
6. NFL - Finally gets around to having Bruce Springsteen play Super Bowl halftime show!
7. Cleveland (1-3) - Browns so bad they were only able to convert four (4) Bengal turnovers into three (3) points!
8. New York Mets - Firing Willie Randolph solved everything as Mets top memorable 2007 collapse followed by magical 2008 where they lose six of last ten, again blow division, wild card leads.
9. Detroit (0-3) - Lions finally fire Matt Millen, but status as B-10 staple secure as it will take years to undo all the damage as Lions in worse shape than Atlanta after Sherman's visit!
10. NFC Central - Tied with NFC West with dismal 5-10 record, first place teams with two (2) wins and obligatory winless teams, but NFC Central gets nod with worse 1-2 mark vs. AFC.
This Week's Clash of the Titans: Cincinnati at Dallas
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: Chicago at Detroit
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