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The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 7
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
You know, there was a time when breaking the nation's longest losing streak (NLLS) meant something. It happened seldom enough, usually once every couple of years or so, because teams were so lousy it took them a couple of years to get a win. When they did, the streak passed on to another lousy team who would keep the streak going for a year or so. Usually, the streak would start garnering interest at about 15 games or so, and then be mentioned on the Prudential College Scoreboard every week, along with the obligatory Slippery Rock score.
Which has made the weekly NLLS snappings this 2008 B-10 season surprising. Now that it has happened for the seventh time this season with Army (Army! I know, we were surprised, too) winning, B-10 pollsters are sitting around the office with flummoxed looks on their faces. Now, they usually have flummoxed looks on their faces, but this is too much, even for them.
Still, though, B-10 fans everywhere are comforted by North Texas, who lost their showdown game against Florida International Saturday.
This week's imbroglio:
1. North Texas (0-5; lost to Florida International 42-10)
Mitigating Factors: Not-So-Mean Green takes command of B-10 race with inspired loss in much anticipated match between defending B-10 champion, pre-season #1…North Texas shows it means business, sprinting out to 35-0 deficit to take drama out of game early....Mean Green has lost six straight, second best in nation.
Scoreboard, Baby: North Texas a statistical juggernaut, ranking 116th or worse in a whopping seven stat categories, including Dead Last in Scoring 'Defense' (52.2 ppg) and Next To Dead Last in Scoring Offense (13.0 ppg) and Passing Efficiency Defense, whatever that is.
Next Loss: Louisiana-Lafayette
2. Chicago Cubs (0-3; lost National League playoff series to Dodgers)
Mitigating Factors: With chance to grab history by the horns and win first world championship since 1908, Cubs take suspense out of divisional series early and can't be bothered to win game against Dodgers.
Wait Till Next Century! Pressure off now, at least until bi-centennial celebration of last World Series win in 2108.
Next Loss: Don't even start.
3. Idaho (1-5; lost to Nevada 49-14)
Mitigating Factors: Vandals show grasp of fundamentals with 65 penalty, 24 rushing yards, resulting in weekly best 2.708-to-1 Penalty Yards To Rushing Yards Ratio…Vandals rank Dead Last in Total Defense (504 ypg) and Sacks (.33 per game) and Next To Dead Last in Scoring Defense (47.33 ppg).
Light At The End Of The Tunnel: Vandals, losers of four straight, making strong case for Tostitos Plaque, given annually to team with longest losing streak in season that actually includes a win (LLSISTAIAW).
Next Loss: at Fresno State
4. Defense Department (Army, Air Force 4-6; Army: defeated Tulane 44-13; Air Force: lost to Navy 33-27)
Mitigating Factors: Army snaps NLLS for second time this century with victory over Tulane…Army's last win was Oct. 6, 2008, vs. Tulane… With Navy loss, Air Force moves out to early lead in race for Sgt. Bilko Trophy, symbol of service academy lousiness.
Mark Your Calendars: Cadet mess hall already planning victory celebration for when the Black Knights of Confusion next play Tulane, on Oct. 9, 2009.
Next Loss: Army: Eastern Michigan; Air Force: at San Diego State
5. St. Anselm (0-5; lost to American International 37-6)
Mitigating Factors: With no major college team anywhere near double-digits in losses, B-10 pollsters reduced to making fun of D-II program made up of hard-working Benedictine Catholics from New Hampshire who have trouble stopping the run…With 31 straight losses Hawks current holders of Continental Cup, given to team with longest collegiate losing streak in North America
Working The Phones: St. Anselm athletic director has call into Army athletic director looking for Tulane's athletic director's phone number.
Next Loss: at Merrimack (10/10)
6. Apple Cup (Washington, Washington State, 1-10; UW: lost to Arizona 48-14; WSU: lost to UCLA 28-3)
Mitigating Factors: Usually not too awful football state wallowing as UW has NLLS with seven, and Cougars only win has been against I-AA team with two wins...Cougars giving up 48.2 points per game vs. I-A teams…Huskies have lost at least five in a row every year since 2004.
All The Marbles, Er Apples: Barring unexpected victories, Nov. 22 match-up anticipated to be for exclusive B-10 entry for loser.
Next Losses: UW: Oregon State (10/18); WSU: at Oregon State
7. SMU (1-5; lost to Central Florida 31-17)
Mitigating Factors: Mustangs actually lead 10-3 before settling down and giving up 21 unanswered points to cruise to fourth straight loss…Mustangs rank Dead Last in NCAA in Rushing Yards (34.17 ypg) and Mustangs leading rusher has already broken magical 100-yard mark, rushing for 120 yards this season…SMU also has two rushing TD's this season, including one for seven (7) yards!
They Lose, We Decide: Mustangs staking own claim for Tostitos Plaque, given annually to team with longest losing streak in season that actually includes a win (LLSISTAIAW)
Next Loss: Tulsa
8. Nation's Longest Losing Streak
Mitigating Factors: Once-hallowed stat feeling effects of increased games against I-AA teams as NLLS has been broken seven times so far in 2008.
Cold War Redux: B-10 pollsters secretly hoping for Washington win, so lousy North Texas can assume NLLS mantle and put some stability back into losing streaks.
9. Kent State (1-5; lost to Akron 30-27 2OT)
Mitigating Factors: Golden Arches overcome last second, game-tying field goal and two touchdowns off turnovers to pull out clutch double overtime loss to Akron team that hasn't won consecutive games since November, 2006...Three game losing streak good enough to tie for fourth best in NCAA.
God, We're Lousy: Golden Flashes have lost 12 of last 13 overall, and 14 out of 15 to I-A teams.
Next Loss: Ohio
10. Utah State (1-4; lost to BYU 34-14)
Mitigating Factors: Thinking game was being played under special Throw Out First Quarter Rule passed by Utah Legislature and applying to intrastate games, Aggies down 24-0 after one, but rebound to outscore BYU 14-10 in quarters 2-4, including dominating 14-0 fourth quarter smackdown.
Century of Progress: Aggies looking to return to form that produced a 10-game losing streak in 2007, five and six game losing streaks in 2006, six-game losing streaks in 2005 and 2004 and three three-game losing streaks in 2003.
Next Loss: at San Jose State
This Week's Clash of the Titans: Utah State at San Jose State
This Week's MAC Thriller: Ohio at Kent St.
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