| | Home
The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 3
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
Jesus H, what the hell's going on here? The season is only two weeks old and already the nation's longest losing streak (NLLS) has been snapped three times, including twice Saturday, as both SMU and Idaho beat FCS foes.
Thank God for the consistency of the Sun Belt Conference. Though conference somehow managed to go 3-3 in non-conference games last week, traditional weak spots Florida International and defending champion North Texas were dutifully slaughtered, with both teams obviously eyeing their Oct. 4 showdown, which could decide who wins the Wal-Mart Trophy Presented by Motel 6.
This week's mess:
1. Florida International (0-2; lost to Iowa 42-0)
Mitigating Factors: Florida International gets off to good start, trailing 21-0 after first quarter, before coasting rest of the way…Defense shows versatility, giving up TD runs of 11 and17 yards in first quarter, plus 59-yard TD pass…Golden Eagles have lost 25 of 26 and have won consecutive games just once since invading the FBS in 2004.
Hey What About Us? Offense doing its part, too, ranking next-to-dead-last in Scoring Offense (5.0 ppg) and Total Offense (178.5 ypg)
Next Loss: South Florida
2. North Texas (0-2; lost to 56-26)
Mitigating Factors: Defending B-10 champions off to great 2008 start, losing third straight on strength of defense giving up 555 yards, touchdowns on six of seven first half possessions…Accommodating, Not So Mean Green have given up points in every quarter this season.
Thank God For Interns: Mean Green offense averaging 16 points and 327 yards per game, resulting in 20.4-to-1 yards to points scored ratio. We're not sure what this means, but we don't think its too good
Next Loss: at LSU
3. Army (0-2; lost to New Hampshire 28-10)
Mitigating Factors: Other Dept. of Homeland Security entries discharged so B-10 pollsters can focus on Black Knights of Confusion…Army of One shows team unity with defense, offense and special teams all allowing New Hampshire touchdowns…Army has lost eight straight and is early favorite to retain Sgt. Bilko Trophy, symbolic of service academy lousiness.
Spot The Trend: Army has given up touchdowns off of kickoffs and turnovers in each of their first two games.
Next Loss: Akron (9/20)
4. NCAA Week 2 Schedule
Mitigating Factors: Week 2 featured a full one-third of games featuring exciting FBS vs. FCS match-ups, less than Week 1's 42 percent, but still enough to ensure college football fans ripped off for second straight week….Of the 22 FBS/FCS matchups, FCS teams won one of these games (See Army entry above).
The Thrill Of Victory: 32 games involving FBS teams were decided by 20 more points this past weekend.
5. Kent State (0-2; lost to Iowa St. 48-28)
Mitigating Factors: School more famous for rifle program now has NLLS, nine games…Kent St. actually outgains Cyclones 410-374, however momentum-killing fumbles yield two Iowa St. touchdowns…Last win vs. BCS school was 1987 31-17 drubbing of Kansas…
Historical Perspective: Golden Arches or Flashes or whatever they're called have had two winning seasons since 1977. Last year (3-9) wasn't one of them.
Next Loss: Delaware State
6. NCAA Celebration Rule
Mitigating Factors: Rule prohibiting happy college player from humiliating opponents by tossing ball in air takes center stage as penalty for this very infraction leads to blocked extra point, preventing Washington upset of BYU.
FunFact: NCAA rules also prohibit making a slashing motion across the throat and bowing at the waist.
7. Holy Trinity (2-2; Notre Dame defeated SDSU 21-13; SMU defeated Texas St 47-36; Wisconsin Lutheran lost to Northwestern (Minn.) 43-7.
Mitigating Factors: Irish get full credit for win, but beating fellow B-10 team, and not looking really good doing it does not impress B-10 pollsters…Well, yes it does, but in a bad way…SMU leads 30-6 in second quarter, but still needs to recover onside kick to beat FBS team…Wisconsin Lutheran has lost four straight, nine of eleven, and 36 of 41.
My Touchdown Jesus Bless You And Keep You: Irish lose two fumbles, throw two interceptions, blow two field goals and still manage to avoid losing consecutive home openers for first time since first Grover Cleveland Administration.
Next Losses: Notre Dame: Michigan; SMU: at Texas Tech; Wisconsin Lutheran: Mayville State
8. B-10 Pollsters
Mitigating Factors: Pollsters sleepwalk through last week's poll, not noticing that University of Toronto broke 49-game losing streak on Sept. 1, defeating Waterloo 18-17…Varsity Blues immediately start in on next losing streak, losing to Windsor 38-14 this past Saturday…Toronto will have to lose every game through week two of 2014 season to match last losing streak…Win was first since Sept 12, 2002, and just second this century.
Transfer Of Power: Continental Cup - symbolic of longest collegiate losing streak in North America - now held by NCAA Division II's Oklahoma Panhandle and St. Anselm, who have each lost 27 straight.
9. Duke (1-1; lost to Northwestern 24-20)
Mitigating Factors: Blue Devils show compost that blossoms B-10 champions by getting twice as many first downs as Wildcats, out-gaining Northwestern by 140 yards and having the ball for two-thirds of the game and still losing thanks to clutch holding call which called back go-ahead touchdown…Punt return team contributes muffed punt which leads to touchdown.
Saving Face: Blue Devils still have nation's longest conference losing streak, having lost last 25 ACC games.
Next Loss: Navy
10. Utah State (0-2; lost to Oregon 66-24)
Mitigating Factors: Aggies don't even bother in this one, trailing 14-0 before anybody needs a deodorant and giving up 688 total yards…Aggies rank 115th in Total Defense, giving up 520.5 ypg…After winning their final two games last year, Aggies back on two-game skid, and have lost 29 of their last 33 games…
Insert Own Lead Line Here: Six of Utah State's 10 non-scoring drives are three and outs. Three of the others lasted four, five and six plays.
Next Loss:Utah
This Week's Clash of the Titans: SMU at Texas Tech
Bottom Ten Alumni Association: Temple at Buffalo - Game that used to be highlight of B-10 season now just lousy MAC games nobody cares about!
Bottom Ten Alumni Association II: Rice at Vanderbilt - Former B-10 stalwarts meet in game that is now just lousy regional match-up nobody cares about!
Threats? Recipes? Trivia question answers? Email The Writer's Shack Here!
Home |
|