The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 4
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
One thing's for sure after two weeks: the race for The Dan Henning Trophy is going to be a slugfest, as Arizona and Cleveland actually won, Buffalo is almost paralyzed with a defense that couldn't stop a team of pensioners, and Atlanta is going to the dogs on not only both side of the ball, but special teams to boot!
Thank goodness for the consistency of Oakland. The Raiders haven't won since 10/29/06 and with an offense that can't pass and a defense that can't hold leads and a head coach who's so young his mommy drops him off at practice everyday, they are still the odds on favorite.
This week's mess:
1. Oakland (0-2; lost to Denver 23-20, OT)
Mitigating Factors: Raiders pass for only 33 yards, though 70 penalty yards good for first positive Penalty-Yards-To-Passing-Yards ratio of season, at 2.1212121212-to-1...Points-To-Passing-Yards-Ratio of .606-to-1 nothing to brag about either...Raiders have lost eleven straight.
Consistency Counts: Just like last week, Raiders overcome two-touchdown deficit, only to show true Bottom Ten mettle and eke out loss.
Next Loss: Cleveland
2. Buffalo (0-2; lost to Pittsburgh 26-3)
Mitigating Factors: Hoping to inspire injured tight end Kevin Everett with clutch road win, Bills instead send Everett into relapse by giving up 420 yards to Steelers team that didn't bother to score first touchdown till late in the third quarter...Defense gets to show toughness by spending almost two-thirds of the game on the field...QB J.P. Losman got off to leisurely start, having just two (2) completions for five (5) yards late in the third quarter.
This Could Be A Long Year: Bills ranked 31st in NFL, giving up 445 yards per game, and only Miami's defense has spent more time on the field than Buffalo's.
Next Loss: at New England
3. Cleveland (1-1; defeated Cincinnati 51-45)
Mitigating Factors: Invoking NFL's new First Team To 50 rule, Browns get first win of season despite giving up 531 yards, 33 first downs, including 24 through the air, and turning the ball over three times.
The Numbers Don't Lie: Browns defense ranks dead last in NFL in Total Yards Allowed (448 ypg) and dead last in AFC in Points Allowed (39.5 ppg).
Next Loss: at Oakland
4. Atlanta (0-2; lost to Jacksonville 13-7)
Mitigating Factors: Showing the kind of total team effort that contends for B-10 titles, Falcons miss two field goals, get just 82 yards on the ground, 165 in the air and defense graciously allows Jaguars offense on field for 34 minutes... Falcons also ranked #24 in NFL in Rushing Yards (89 ypg) and dead last in scoring (10 ppg)
Piling It On: Falcons also rank dead last in Safeties (0.0 per game), 2-Point Conversions (0.0 per game) and Blocked Punts (0.0 per game)
Next Loss: Carolina
5. Kansas City (0-2; lost to Chicago 20-10)
Mitigating Factors: Chiefs fall to 0-2, mustering only 70 yards rushing and 13 first downs...Special teams key, giving up punt return touchdown and a second long return that set up field goal...Fortunately the Chiefs were so far out of it, field goal didn't really matter.
Thank God For Atlanta: Chiefs 13 total points second worst in NFL.
Next Loss: Minnesota
Caught In The Lint Trap:
6. Arizona - Showing why no one has gone winless for non-strike NFL campaign since 1976, Cardinals actually fool everyone and pull out clutch victory.
7. AFC East - Everybody but New England is 0-2!
8. AFC North - Everybody but Pittsburgh is 1-1!
9. AFC West - Everybody is either 2-0, 1-1 or 0-2!
10. Miami - Dolphins 0-2 for third time in four years, leaving no one wondering why Nick Saban left.
This Week's Clash of the Titans: Cleveland at Oakland
Let's Go Live To Don Criqui: Miami at New York Jets
Let's Screw CBS III: Buffalo at New England isn't going to be any good either.
Strategies of the Great Quarterbacks Series: Atlanta QB Joey Harrington after Sunday's loss: "We all need to play better."
Can't We Liven This Up A Little Bit: NFL games averaging over three field goals per game in 2007, up from the average of two and half per game in 2006.
Trivia Time: In Sunday's Cincinnati/Cleveland game, Bengal QB Carson Palmer threw for six touchdowns and Brown QB Derek Anderson threw for five, marking just the third time in NFL history opposing quarterbacks have each thrown for at least five touchdowns in the same game. When were the other two?
Comments? Complaints? Recipes? Email Gaylon here!
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