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The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 9
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
As B-10 pollsters continue to weep and rend garments over perennial Temple's three game winning streak, they take heart in the consistency of our top two stalwarts this year, Florida International and Notre Dame, plus the ascendance of Minnesota and the arrival of Nebraska and Marshall as the Bottom Ten welcomes four previous national champions to the same survey for the first time ever, five if you count Toronto!
As usual, the race for the Wal-Mart Trophy Presented by Motel 6 is shaping up to be a nail biter, as the one-win teams wait and see if the unvictoried teams will be able to muster the victory required to let them back in.
This week's mess:
1. Florida International (0-7; lost to Louisiana - Lafayette 28-14)
Mitigating Factors: Golden Losers return from bye week, reclaim top spot, apply for Moral Victory designation after offense explodes for second-highest point total of season, defense drops Scoring Defense average from 40.67 to 38.86 ppg...FIU's losing streak now at nation's-best 19, and conference losing streak now up to ten with only single-digit home losing streak keeping Golden Losers from holding coveted B-10 Triple Crown.
Scoring Blues: Despite scoring in double figures in consecutive games, Panthers still rank dead last in NCAA in Scoring (8.29 ppg).
Next Loss: at Arkansas
2. Notre Dame (1-7; Lost to USC 38-0)
Mitigating Factors: Irish fall to 1-1 in Pac-10 play, losing to second-place Trojans, despite having beaten first place UCLA at Rose Bowl two weeks ago...48 rushing yards third highest total of season, fourth time offense has eclipsed magic 40-yard rushing mark this season...1.7-to-1 Penalty-Yards-To-Rushing-Yards-Ratio still best in NCAA...Irish have had more penalty yards than rushing yards in a game five times this season.
Call Or Write For A Free Brochure: Irish so bad they even rank dead last amongst I-A Independent teams, behind east coast service academies, ITT Tech.
Next Loss: Navy (11/3)
3. BCS
Mitigating Factors: Entity known for mucking things has four undefeated teams in Top 10...Of these, Ohio State and Boston College have beaten three teams who currently have winning records, and Arizona State and Kansas have each beaten one...Good thing there are plenty of one loss teams, though...That will make it easier for the BCS when these four teams lose.
Well, We're Waiting: Nation glancing at wristwatch, tapping face as everyone waits to see how BCS will screw things up this year as, year in and year out, BCS makes an even better case for playoff than hack Internet columnist, division I-AA, II and III playoffs.
4. Minnesota (1-7; lost to North Dakota St. 27-21)
Mitigating Factors: Gophers get weekly Jekyll and Hyde award, giving up season's best 194 passing yards, season's worst 394 rushing yards, in losing to I-AA team...Confusion mitigated somewhat as Gophers still ranking dead last in Total Defense (533.63 ypg)...Tarnished Gophers have lost six in a row and seven of eight.
Competition Committee: Big Ten falls to 6-2 vs. I-AA teams, though I-AA selection board promises winner of Minnesota/Michigan game automatic entry into I-AA playoffs.
Next Loss: at Michigan
5. Nebraska (4-4; lost to Texas Agricultural and Mechanical 36-14)}
Mitigating Factors: Four wins usually not good enough to earn B-10 ranking, but Huskers riding coattails of also-used-to-be-good Notre Dame, goodwill from Tom Osborne hiring...Huskers have lost three straight by a combined score of 122-34....Huskers unable to rally around coach Bill Callahan's 'win one for the resume' cry, get blown out by Aggie squad who themselves had lost their previous two games by a total of 50 points.
Across The Board: Huskers rank 100th or worse in such varied stat categories as Rushing Defense, Turnover Margin, Sacks, and Punt Returns.
Next Loss: Texas
6. Utah St (0-7; lost to Nevada 31-28)
Mitigating Factors: On their own after Colorado State wins and is kicked out of popular, tedious Department of Interior entry, Aggies flirt with disaster, actually leading late in the fourth quarter, but give up 32-yard touchdown pass, go three and out, to seal nation's second-best 13th straight loss...Aggies show consistency that makes for great B-10 runs, rushing for a measly 106 yards, passing for a measly 106 yards.
TripTik: Aggies now 0-2 vs. Nevada schools; can go 0-2 vs. California, Idaho schools with upcoming losses to Fresno St, Boise St and Idaho.
Next Loss: Louisiana Tech
7. Rice (1-6; lost to Memphis 38-35)
Mitigating Factors: Owls have lost two straight after snapping five-game skid earlier in month...Owls showing type of defense that wins B-10 titles, losing last two games despite scoring 48 and 35 points in those games.
Thank God We Play In Conference USA: Since losing to Nevada on 10/14/04, Owls have lost 28 of 37, had losing streaks of 14, six and five games and still qualified for bowl game last year.
Next Loss: at Marshall
8. University of Nevada - Loss Vegas (2-6; lost to Colorado St. 48-23)
Mitigating Factors: Rebels fight way into survey, breaking Rams' 13-game losing streak, whose last win had been against UNLV...Rebels immediately placed on probation for breaking up pollsters fave Department of the Interior entry, not covering spread...Rebels have lost four straight, including three in a row to schools from Colorado...Since 2004 Rebels have had five losing streaks of four or more games, including streaks of six and ten games.
What The Hell's Going On Here: Colorado St. beats UNLV, who beat Utah, who beat UCLA, who beat Stanford, who beat USC, who beat Notre Dame, who beat UCLA.
Next Loss: at Wyoming
9. Marshall (0-7; lost to Southern Mississippi 33-24)
Mitigating Factors: Ten years after making jump to I-A division, former I-AA national champions Blundering Herd finally fulfills promise to fans by making first B-10 appearance following eighth straight loss, third best in nation.
D-Fence! Offense not too bad, at least compared to Notre Dame, but defense probably couldn't even stop the Irish, ranking no better than 108th in Rushing Defense, Scoring Defense and Total Defense.
Next Loss: Rice
10. Toronto (0-8; lost to Queens College 54-24)
Mitigating Factors: Varsity Bleus end 2007 just like they ended 2000, 2002-06 inclusive, 0-8...Loss to Queens Canadian collegiate record 49th straight.
We Live For This: Toronto begins Bottom Ten International region action against Curacao Saturday.
This Week's Clash of the Titans: Rice at Marshall
Lousy Traditional Rivalry of the Week: Minnesota at Michigan
No Room At The Inn: The following entries dropped out: AP Top Ten, Big 10, Louisiana - Famous Dead Person, Sun Belt Conference, Department of Interior, Duke (excused because of bye week, physics quiz)
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