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The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 8
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
It was a tough week for pollsters, there's no doubt about it. Top ranked Florida International had the week off, and, in keeping with Bottom Ten tradition dating all the way back to September, were excluded from the survey. The service academies have been on shore leave all season and are a combined 12-8 and to add complete insult to injury, Temple has won two straight for the first time since 2002! This season is so chaotic that no less than five entries in the opening week are no longer around.
Notre Dame, meanwhile, showed the type of opportunism that wins championships, taking advantage of Florida International's bye week to retake the top spot, throwing down the gauntlet and letting everyone know they are in the race for the Wal-Mart Trophy Presented by Motel 6 for the long haul.
This weeks imbroglio:
1. Notre Dame (1-6; lost to Boston College 27-14)
Mitigating Factors: Irish have worst rushing game on the planet, rushing for 27 yards vs. BC...Leading rusher manages to top magical 10-yard plateau, getting 17 yards and longest run of day went for eight yards...Irish not only rank dead last in Rushing (32.14 ypg) they are 26 yards per game behind the team ahead of them...27 rushing yards was actually fourth-highest total this season.
Jesus H. This Is Bad: Irish continue to please B-10 staff by posting a 1.97:1 Penalty-Yards-To-Rushing-Yards ratio, long after most teams get their running games in gear and this funny, useless stat is retired for season.
Next Loss: USC
2. AP Top Ten
Mitigating Factors: AP poll again shows all the stability of a Mideast cease-fire as both #1 LSU and #2 Cal lose, moving perennial Ohio State, who has yet to play anyone more challenging than their scout team, and South Florida, who started season in Others Receiving Votes section, into top two spots...Of the top ten teams in first AP poll, five are out of top ten, two are out of Top 25 entirely, and three have been ranked here.
Hail Mary, Full Of Grace: Notre Dame faithful giving thanks, crossing themselves, over good fortune of having been in B-10 race from the start.
3. Duke (1-6; lost to Virginia Tech 43-14)
Mitigating Factors: After a win and consecutive, sort-of-close losses, Blue Devils tune up for B-10 stretch run with blowout loss...After blowing nations-best 22-game losing streak earlier this season, Blue Devils have lost four straight, sixth best in country...Even sports information department mailing it in, as pregame press notes now consist of opponents record, picture of 1992 basketball team, days left till basketball home opener.
The Post Game Show Is Brought To You By Bekins Van Lines:Ted Roof is 6-40 in five-plus seasons at Duke.
Next Loss: at Florida State (10/27)
4. Toronto (0-7; lost to Western Ontario 44-1)
Mitigating Factors: Varsity Blues now proud sole possessors of Canadian-record 48-game losing streak...Saturday's loss was the 16th time this century Varsity Blues have scored one or zero points in a game...They are 0-16 in these games.
Blast From The Past: Last century, Toronto used to be pretty good, winning four Grey Cups, including the first one, two college national championships and 25 conference titles before deciding never to win another game ever.
Next Loss: Queens
5. Big Ten Conference
Mitigating Factors: Conference teams have managed to lose to I-AA Appalachian State, 1-6 Iowa State, not to mention Duke, and, gave up 31 points to dreaded Citadel...Conference still manages to have #1 team in country, though, more or less by default, because no one else seems to want it...Conference teams have spent exactly five (5) weeks ranked in AP Top 5.
Rehash Standard Sun Belt Conference Line Here: Big Ten has rebounded for strong .500 mark in conference play, though.
Next Loss: Rose Bowl berth, as Pasadena officials opt for Sun Belt Conference champ.
6. BCS Poll
Mitigating Factors: Fun just starting as stupid entity is left to sort out mess that has put 12 teams in AP Top 5 so far this season, including five teams in the one and two spots...To make matters even more fun, there are still six undefeated teams, including three outside the Top Ten.
FunFact: Though it claims a playoff would interfere with kids academic life, sabotage venerable Capital One Bowl, NCAA offers 16-team playoff in division I-AA a 24-team playoff in Division II, and a super-sized 32 team playoff in Division III...The D-III finalists will play 15 games this season.
7. Louisiana - Famous Dead Person (2-11; UL - Lafayette lost to Arkansas St. 52-21; UL - Monroe lost to North Texas 31-21)
Mitigating Factors: UL-M offense and defense team up, as offense allows two interceptions to be returned for touchdowns, and defense allows 16th 99-yard touchdown pass in NCAA history...Defense shows way for UL-L, allowing 681 total yards and is on the field for over 40 minutes...Teams ranked a combined 100th or worse in 14 NCAA stat categories.
Great Seats Still Available: 50-yard line seats still available for 11/24 clash between these two juggernauts.
Next Losses: UL-L: Florida Atlantic; UL-M: Florida International
8. Minnesota (1-6, lost to Northwestern 49-48, 2OT)
Mitigating Factors: Gophers most exciting team in Bottom Ten, going 1-2 in overtime games, and getting outscored an average of 39-31 every week...Four times offense has put up more than 450 yards in a game...Unfortunately, defense ranks dead last in NCAA in Total Defense (526.29 ypg) and Gophers are 1-3 in these games...Gophers have not played in Rose Bowl since 1962.
Show Me The Hardware: Gophers have lost five straight, and are in running, with Duke, for Tostitos Plaque, symbolic of having the longest losing streak in a season that actually featured a win.
Next Loss: North Dakota St
9. Sun Belt Conference
Mitigating Factors: Conference play not helping matters any, as half of conference has zero or one win and five teams have five or six losses...Highest ranked team in Total Defense is Arkansas State at 61, and even they're giving up 381 yards a game.
It's Scrabble and Yahtzee Combined: Throw out Troy, and conference teams lead nation in syllables, averaging 6.0 syllables per team, way more than stuffy Ivy League schools, who average just 2.4 syllables per team.
10. Department of the Interior (Colorado St/Utah St, 0-12; CSU lost to Air Force 45-21; Utah State: bye)
Mitigating Factors: With Aggies enjoying week off, Rams pick up slack, playing bad enough for both teams in extending entry's losing streak to 25 games...Rams throw four interceptions, more than making up for 380 yards total offense and 224 yards rushing.
Taking More Than The Week Off: Utah St has lost 31 of 36 and has not won consecutive games since 2003.
Next Losses: Utah St: Nevada; CSU: at UNLV
This Week's Clash of the Titans: Colorado St at UNLV;
Lousy Intersectional Match-ups of the Week: USC at Notre Dame; UL-Famous Dead Person vs. Lousy Florida Sun Belt schools
They Needed Another Network For This: Buffalo at Syracuse, 1 pm Eastern, on ESPNU
No You Don't: "We've got some great, young kids this year." Toronto coach Steve Howlett, who is 0-39 at Toronto.
Forward, March! "It's not about the past, it's about the future." - Steve Howlett
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