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The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 7
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
What the hell's going on here? Half the survey won last week! From Notre Dame to Temple - Temple! - to both halves of the Louisiana - Famous Dead Person entry, the Bottom Ten was littered with title-depleting victories. To add complete insult to injury, even Rice won, marking the first time traditional losers Notre Dame, Temple and Rice have won on the same day since 9/18/04.
As in life, patience is rewarded in the Bottom Ten. Sure, Florida International didn't start the season with a fancy-pants losing streak like Duke, or have the high profile lousiness of Notre Dame, but the Golden Panthers show that it's a long season and the cream usually rises in the race for the Wal-Mart Trophy Presented By Motel 6.
This week's septic tank:
1. Florida International (0-6; lost to Troy 34-16)
Mitigating Factors: Golden Losers show what patience, lack of talent can accomplish, as Panthers extend nations-best losing streak to 18 games...Offense rushes for just 84 yards, though Panthers do have three players break magical 20-yard plateau...Seven points in first quarter better than entire scoring output in three games.
Number Crunching: FIU ranks 110th or worse in nine official NCAA stat categories and are getting outscored an average of 40.67 to 7.33 per game.
Next Loss: at Louisiana - Monroe
2. Department of the Interior (Colorado St/Utah St, 0-11; CSU lost to SDSU 24-20; Utah St. lost to Hawaii 52-37)
Mitigating Factors: Bush Administration considering proposal to have opponents enter stadiums through new Bureau of Mines FanFest interactive feature that would trap opponents in locker room long enough for refs to forfeit game...Entry has lost a combined 24 straight...Rams defying conventional B-10 wisdom by continuing to lose despite not ranking 100th or worse in any significant NCAA stat category.
Hey, We've Got Your Back, Guys: Aggies picking up slack, though, ranking 100th or worse in seven NCAA stat categories, including a very consistent 107 in Scoring Offense (18.67 ppg) and 108th in Scoring Defense (36.33 ppg).
Next Losses: Utah St: Nevada (10/20); Col. St: Air Force
3. Duke (1-5; lost to Wake Forest 41-36)
Mitigating Factors: Duke jumps out to 9-0 lead before defense takes command, giving up 34 unanswered points, including two rushing touchdowns to Demon Deacons leading pass receiver...Losing streak at three, and with six games left Duke still in running for Tostitos Plaque, given to team with longest losing streak in season that actually features a win.
Relegation Round: Though no longer holders of nation's longest overall losing streak, Blue Devils still holders of Comfort Inn Cup with 13-game home losing streak, and nations-best 20 game conference losing streak.
Next Loss: Virginia Tech
4. Notre Dame (1-5; defeated UCLA 20-6)
Mitigating Factors: Offense does its part, exploding for nine punts and managing only 12 first downs, 46 yard rushing and 94 yards passing...Defense, however, stands by helplessly, unable to overcome seven UCLA turnovers as Bruins take care of annual NCAA donation to Catholic Charities...Only Irish touchdown drive began on UCLA two...Drive that began on UCLA one resulted in minus seven yards rushing, field goal.
Thanks For The Memories: Notre Dame now 2-0 at Rose Bowl stadium, winning first national title after winning 1925 Rose Bowl game, avoiding eight game losing streak Saturday.
Next Loss: Boston College
5. Toronto (0-6; lost to Windsor 42-21)
Mitigating Factors: Varsity Bleus tie Canadian collegiate record with 47th straight loss, set sights on all-time North American collegiate mark of 80 straight losses (Prairie View A&M, 1989-98)...
Get Out Your Calendars: Since they only play eight games a year, Toronto would have to lose every game from now until week one in 2012 to tie Prairie View A&M's record.
Next Loss: at Western Ontario
6. Chicago Cubs (Lost National League Division series to Arizona)
Mitigating Factors: Unable to blow NL Central in regular season, Cubs show commitment to preserving sanctity of centennial celebration of last World Series win by mailing in division series loss to Arizona...Cubs offense bats .194 in three games, with one home run and 27 strikeouts.
At Least It Was Quick: Cubs fans spared heartbreak, whining that would have inevitably followed 2003-like collapse.
Next Loss: 21st Century
7. Temple (1-5; defeated N. Illinois 16-15)
Mitigating Factors: Owls last-minute field goal the game winner only because N. Illinois kicker missed two (2) extra points... Owls break losing streak of at least eight games for third time this decade, and the eighth time they've broken a losing streak of at least four games and have still lost 51 of last 57.
Ain't No Stopping Us Now: Owls have now earned victories in consecutive seasons for first time since 2004.
Next Loss: at Akron
8. USCLA - (USC loses to Stanford 24-23; UCLA loses to Notre Dame, 20-6)
Mitigating Factors: USC and UCLA send fans searching for paper bags to put over head, desecrating hallowed Coliseum and Rose Bowl by losing to teams that had been a combined 1-8...Duke applying for at-large BCS berth after USC loses to Stanford, who lost to UCLA, who lost to Notre Dame, who lost to Michigan, who lost to Appalachian State, who lost to Wofford, who lost to NC State, who lost to Louisville, who lost to Utah, who lost to UNLV, who lost to Nevada, who lost to Northwestern, who lost to Duke.
The Great White Hope: LA football fans turning attention to only team still with national title hopes, D-III Occidental, who is 4-0 and ranked 21st in the country.
Next Loss: LA Clippers season
9. North Texas (0-5; lost to Louisiana - Lafayette 38-29)
Mitigating Factors: Mean Green able to rush for only 144 yards against previously winless UL-L team that had given up almost 850 yards on ground last three games...North Texas leads NCAA by ranking 100th or worse in 12 official stat categories, 110th or worse in eight of those categories...Classic Jekyll and Hyde team, actually ranking 8th in NCAA Passing Yards (341.2 ypg) and 108th in Rushing Yards (95.2 ypg).
Salt In The Wound: North Texas ranks next-to-dead-last in Rushing Defense (255 ypg) and dead last in Total Defense (547 ypg) and Scoring Defense (51.6 ypg)
Next Loss: Louisiana - Monroe
10. NHL
Mitigating Factors: League gets bonus points for returning for second consecutive year, demerits for having champion named Ducks, opening season in England with two teams from southern California.
FunFact: Nobody really cares about the NHL.
This Week's Clash of the Titans: UL-Monroe at North Texas; remainder of Sun Belt schedule.
Hey,We Suck, Too!: Temple at Akron
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