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The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 5
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack
Sure, we were all skeptical when Notre Dame and Michigan opened the year with consecutive losses. B-10 pollsters are accustomed the early season powerhouse loss and issuing the obligatory Bottom Ten ranking. It's always good for some laughs and hate mail.
Invariably, though, the team in question recovers and pollsters can get back to the serious business of handicapping the race for The Wal-Mart Trophy Presented by Motel 6
And we were happy to milk the two winningest teams in college football history starting 0-2 for the requisite cheap, easy laughs. But Notre Dame appears here to stay, though with Florida International, Temple Rice and a resurgent Duke all in the picture, Notre Dame will really need to say their prayers to stay #1 all season.
Also, to avoid the Sun Belt Conference monopolizing seventy percent of poll, pollsters only allowing entries for entire conference, Florida International.
This week's mess:
1. Notre Dame (0-4; Lost to Michigan St. 31-14)
Mitigating Factors: Virgin Mary issues team happy faces, gold stars for finally finishing game with positive rushing yards, though Irish still dead last in NCAA in Rushing Offense (25.25 ypg) and Total Offense (137 ypg) ...Father Billy O'Flannagan however, has offensive line report for floggings, peeks down the jock strap, for still leading NCAA in sacks allowed (6.75/game)...Irish 0-4 for first time ever, and six game losing streak second longest, trailing only 1960 eight-game skid.
Going Retro: Trying to recapture luster of years past, Irish looking to schedule 1899 foes Physicians and Surgeons, Rush Medical, Indiana next season.
Next Loss: at Purdue
2. Florida International (0-4; lost to Kansas 55-3)
Mitigating Factors: After padding B-10 numbers by feasting on national powers, Golden Panthers claw way into minefield that is Sun Belt conference play, opening against a Middle Tennessee State team that itself has lost seven straight.
Taking It To The House: FIU ranks dead last in Scoring Offense (5.5 ppg) and has failed to score in eleven of sixteen quarters this season.
Next Loss: at Middle Tennessee State
3. Sun Belt Conference (3-19 non-conference)
Mitigating Factors: All other Sun Belt conference teams bundled into one entry as conference eclipsed again in non-conference action last week, going 0-2 and getting outscored 107-30...Highest ranked team in NCAA in Scoring Defense ranks 73rd (Florida Atlantic, 28.75 ppg) and three-fourths of the conference ranks 100th or worse...Conference teams give up an average of 38.6 ppg.
Conference of Champions: Ten I-A teams currently have losing streaks of at least five games. Four of them are from the Sun Belt Conference.
Next Loss: Automatic bid to New Orleans Bowl...Bowl officials secretly working with National Weather Service to secure another Katrina-like storm so game can be shipped to Boise or Manitoba or someplace like that.
4. Temple (0-4; lost to Bowling Green 48-35)
Mitigating Factors: Owls avenge last year's victory over Bowling Green, their only win since 11/13/04, and only win standing between them and 28-game losing streak...Still though, Temple has lost an impressive 45 of 48.
Consistency Counts: Unable to compete with name recognition of Notre Dame, Owls courting B-10 pollsters with consistency, ranking 100th or worse in two offensive, three defensive and two special teams categories.
Next Loss: at Army
5. Duke (1-3; lost to Navy 48-45)
Mitigating Factors: Blue Devils jump back in to B-10 title picture with season-saving, last-second loss to officer candidates who spent halftime studying for calculus test and reading John Paul Jones quotes...Blue Devils blow eleven point lead in last 8:07 of game by allowing touchdown pass by running back and game winning field goal by back up kicker...Duke has not won two straight since 2003 and has not won consecutive games against I-A, non-service academy teams since 8-4 season in 1994.
Strong Finishing Kick: Bleu Devils have not scored in the fourth quarter this year...Third quarter hasn't exactly been a score-fest either, having only scored in two of those.
Next Loss: at Miami (Fl.)
6. Rice (0-4; lost to Texas 58-14)
Mitigating Factors: Rice never in this one either, rushing for -11 yards, giving up 560 yards and trailing 41-0 before scoring seven unanswered points...Owls 0-4 for fourth time in last five years, including last three...Pollsters taking wait-and-see attitude, though, as Owls rebounded to win seven of next eight in 2006...Owls have lost five straight and are one of two B-10 teams whose current losing streak includes a bowl game.
Yeah, That's A Bulletin: Notre Dame is the other B-10 team whose current losing streak includes a bowl game.
Next Loss: at Southern Mississippi
7. Department of the Interior (Utah St, 0-4; Colorado St, 0-3)
Mitigating Factors: Mountain juggernaut explodes into survey with a combined 20 game losing streak, tops amongst Cabinet-level teams...Rams claiming Strength of Schedule exemption as 2007 opponents are 8-3 and since they are not ranked 100th or worse in any significant NCAA stat category...Utah St. so bad official athletic web site features picture of gymnast, feature on golf team's 14th place finish at Weber State Invitational, pop-up ad for basketball tickets.
All Together Now: Aggies and Rams have both lost ten straight overall, seven in conference and four straight at home...Last win for both schools was even on 10/7/06.
Next Losses: Utah St: at Utah; Colorado St: at TCU
8. Louisville (2-2; lost to Syracuse 38-35)
Mitigating Factors: After slaughtering dreaded Murray St. in opener, Cardinals, who actually won the Orange Bowl last year, are giving up an average of 493 yards and 40 points in last three games...Two of those teams, Middle Tennessee State and Syracuse, are combined 1-7 in 2007...Cardinals become first team in B-10 history (we think, we're not entirely sure) to lead nation in Total Offense (619.75 ypg), be ranked in B-10.
What The Hell's Going On Here?: Against Syracuse, Cardinals gain 628 yards, give up just 42 yards rushing and score 21 fourth-quarter points and still manage to lose.
Next Loss: at North Carolina State
9. Defense Department (Army, 1-3; Navy 2-2)
Mitigating Factors: Navy needs trick play, last second field goal to beat preseason B-10 #1 Duke...Black Knights of the Hudson muster just seven first downs and march for just 44 yards in loss to Boston College...Of last eight Army wins, three have come against I-AA teams.
Game Within The Game: The race for the Sgt. Bilko trophy, symbolic of service academy lousiness, gets underway this weekend with Navy hosting Air Force.
Next Losses: Army: Temple; Navy: Air Force
10. University of Toronto (0-4; lost to McMaster 39-11)
Mitigating Factors: Varsity Blues tighten already vice-like grip on Continental Cup by losing North American-best 45th straight game...Toronto getting outscored by an average of 46-11.25...
Thank God For Interns: Junior Varsity Blues lead hemisphere with 1.022:1 Average-Points-Allowed-To-Total-Points-Scored ratio.
Next Loss: at York
This Week's Clash of the Titans: #4 Temple at #9 Army
Sun Belt Conference Clash of the Titans:#2 Florida International at Middle Tennessee State
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