The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 4
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack

Bolstered by an offense line that couldn't block the Bottom Ten staff if they stood up and held their arms up, Notre Dame left no doubt as to whom the worst team was in their historic #1 vs. #2 showdown against Michigan.

And it wasn't even close! The much heralded Game of the Century turned out to be everything B-10 fans could hope for as Notre Dame established themselves as the team to beat - literally - in the race for the Wal-Mart Trophy Presented by Motel 6, getting slaughtered 38-0. The Irish established more Bottom Ten history by becoming the first team to ever reach #1 in the same decade they've appeared in five bowl games!

Lost in the cacophony of the Game of the Century was the nation's longest losing streak getting snapped at Northwestern as Duke ended its 22-game losing streak, leaving one of those initials schools from Florida as the losingest team in the country.

This week's mess:

1. Notre Dame (0-3; lost to Michigan 38-0)
Mitigating Factors: Four Horsemen of Notre Dame now named Loser, No Blocking, Sacked and Punt...Team so bad third-string QB quits to transfer to Southern Northwest Michigan A&I...Irish on first five game losing streak since 1963 and just their fourth ever...Irish rank dead last in Rushing Offense (-4 ypg), Total Offense (115 ypg), Scoring Offense (4.33 ppg) and Sacks Allowed (7.67 spg)...Things will get better soon as Notre Dame's next five opponents are 13-1 right now.
In The Name of the Father: Touchdown Jesus' name changed to Positive Yardage Jesus until Irish can rush the ball past the line of scrimmage. 
Next Loss: vs. Michigan State

2. Florida International (0-3; lost to Miami, Florida 23-9)
Mitigating Factors: Golden Something-or-another's proud new owners of nation's best 15 game losing streak, including six straight at home and seven straight in Sun Belt conference, which isn't easy to do.
Mendoza Line: Offense not as bad as Notre Dame - nobody's that bad - but FIU does rank next to last in Passing Offense (101 ypg) and Total Offense (180.33 ypg) and next-to-next-to-last in Scoring Offense (6.33 ppg).
Next Loss: at Kansas

3. Syracuse (0-3; lost to Illinois 41-20)
Mitigating Factors: Orange sneak up on B-10 staff with unexpected 0-3 start, losing to teams who were a combined 13-24 in 2006...Orange muster just 14 first downs and 63 rushing yards against Illinois team that won two games last year...Syracuse ranks #116 in Total Offense (198.67 ypg) and #101 in Total Defense (453.33 ypg).
Is Notre Dame On The Schedule By Chance?: Syracuse is getting out scored by an average of 39.33-10.07 per game. 
Next Loss: at Louisville

4. Temple (0-3; lost to UConn 22-17)
Mitigating Factors: Owls issued moral victory following 14-13 third quarter lead, their first lead since 10/28/06...Not only that, Temple's starting quarterback and running back both go over 100-yard mark for the game!...Owls have lost six straight and 42 of 47, dating back to 2002...Owls have scored in six of the twelve quarters they've played this season.
On The Other Hand: Owls have not scored in six of the twelve quarters they've played this season.
Next Loss: at Bowling Green

5. Toledo (0-3; lost to Kansas 45-13)
Mitigating Factors: New entry constructing classic B-10 run with obligatory blow-out losses to big schools, plus loss to Compass Point school....Offense not completely lousy, but Rockets rank next-to-next-to last in Scoring Defense (49.67 ppg) and #100 or worse in Rushing Defense (231 ypg) and Total Defense (502 ypg).
Hey, Didn't We Used To Be Good?: Rockets 0-3 for first time since 1988...Toledo has actually played in four bowl games in 00's. Granted, three of them were the Motor City Bowl and the other was the GMAC Bowl, but still.
Next Loss: vs. Iowa State

6. Rice (0-3; Lost to Texas Tech 59-24)
Mitigating Factors: Owls get 25 first downs, 311 total yards and have half as many penalties as Red Raiders, and are still never in it as defense gives up 592 yards, including 481 through the air...Owls have lost three in a row to start season for fifth time this century.
The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You: With losses to Baylor and Texas Tech, and Texas, UTEP, Houston and SMU looming, Owls have good shot at setting B-10 Southwest regional mark by going 0-6 against Texas schools. 
Next Loss: at Texas

7. Duke (1-2; defeated Northwestern 20-14)
Mitigating Factors: Blue Devils choke, blowing 22-game losing streak against Northwestern team determined to preserve their all-time I-A losing streak mark of 34...Typically, Blue Devils get out-gained 506-309...Duke still can't run the ball, ranking #114 in Rushing Yardage (54 ypg)...With previous win on 9/17/05, Blue Devils go from Team of Destiny to being just another team that's lost 22 of 24 and 33 of 37 since 2004. 
Light At The End of the Tunnel: Duke does get head start on new consecutive scoreless quarters streak by getting zero points in second half.
Next Loss: at Navy

8. Department of Defense (2-4; Navy, lost to Ball St. 34-31 in OT; Army lost to Wake Forest 21-10)
Mitigating Factors: Former B-10 bellwether returns, as service academies returning to old tricks...Navy, caught salivating at prospect of November's Notre Dame match-up, fumbles on first play of OT, which leads to game winning field goal...Middies get Jekyll/Hyde Award for ranking first in NCAA in Rushing Yards (378 ypg), dead last in Passing Yards (59 ypg)... Army has lost 9 of 11...
Ten-Hut!: Army has not won consecutive games in September since 1996...Actually,  Black Knights of the Hudson haven't won consecutive games in any month since winning four straight in 2005.
Next Losses: Navy: vs. Duke; Army: at Boston College

9. Buffalo (1-2; lost to Penn St. 45-24)
Mitigating Factors: Bulls treading on thin, B-10 ice as offense is going completely crackers, with 66 points in consecutive games its highest total since 2004...Defense isn't completely mucking things up, either, ranking a not-too-bad #65 in Total Defense (365.67 ypg)...Still though, pollsters hesitant to drop historical B-10 juggernaut, even with Syracuse and Toledo remaining on the schedule.
What In The Hell's Going On Here?: Bulls not ranked #100 or worse in any significant NCAA stat category.
Next Loss: Baylor

10. Bye Week
Mitigating Factors: Week off usually gives loser teams like Colorado State, losers of nine straight, and North Texas, giving up an average of 62 points per game, a week out of the B-10 glare, but pollsters throw them in there just for funsies.
Now Hear This: Nobody is playing defense anymore, as 34 teams are giving up an average of 30 or more points per game, and ten of those are giving up at least 40...Also, 39 schools are giving up 400 or more yards per game and nine are giving up 500 or more, with one (hi North Texas!) giving up a whopping 601 yards per game.

This Week's Clash of the Titans: #7 Duke at #8 Navy

Strategies of the Great Coaches Series: Seven weeks after everyone else, Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis said after Saturday's game: "We're starting training camp tomorrow!"

Bottom Ten Alumni Association: The Sun Belt Conference actually won three non-conference games last weekend!

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