The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 3
By Gaylon Kent
The Writer's Shack

We are more or less speechless here at The Bottom 10. I mean, we're used to Games of the Year here. They happen, almost by definition, every year. In fact, Temple and Buffalo - B-10 stalwarts both - played last week.

But the two winningest programs in the history of major college football, teams with 24 national championships between them, both 0-2? This is too much even for chronic pessimists like us to take.

And we're not talking heartbreaking, last second losses, either: one team has a loss to a I-AA team and the other has yet to run the ball statistically past the line of scrimmage! This Saturday's match-up at the Poor House in Ann Arbor is nothing less than the Game of the Century. #1 vs. #2; the loser with a clear cut path to the Wal-Mart Trophy Presented by Motel 6.

This week's imbroglio:

1. Michigan (0-2; lost to Oregon 39-7)
Mitigating Factors: Showing the type of consistency that wins B-10 titles, Wolverines not getting it done on either side of the ball, ranking 100th or worse in four NCAA defensive categories, including Rushing Defense (109tth , 245 ypg), Total Defense (108th, 505 ypg) and Scoring Defense (101st, 36.5 ppg) and 91st in Scoring Offense (19.5 ppg)... Michigan has lost four straight for the first time since 1967 and the eighth time school history. 
Scoring Drive: Teams scoring more points per game than Michigan include UTEP, Buffalo and Northwestern.
Next Loss: Game of the Century, vs. Notre Dame.

2. Notre Dame (0-2; Lost at Penn State 31-10)
Mitigating Factors: Irish, also losers of four straight, have worst offense in the country, ranking dead last in NCAA in Rushing Offense (-4 ypg) Total Offense (133 ypg) and Sacks Allowed (7.5 pg), 117th in scoring (6.5 ppg)...Irish have 'rushed' the ball 67 times this season for minus 8 yards...With negative rushing yards, Pollman still can't figure out Penalty-Yards-To-Rushing-Yards Ratio, but with 122 penalty yards, he's still sure it's pretty bad.
Scoring Drive II: Teams scoring more points per game than Notre Dame include UTEP, Buffalo, Northwestern, hell, pretty much everybody in NCAA except Syracuse and Florida International.
Next Loss: Game of the Century, at Michigan

3. Duke (0-2; lost to Virginia 24-13)
Mitigating Factors: Duke fan(s) issuing poll fixing allegations after Blue Devils become first team in B-10 history to lose 22nd consecutive game, drop to #3 in poll...At this rate, Blue Devils should be out of B-10 by Halloween...Blue Devils now 443-441-39 all-time, can return to historical .500 with losses the next two weeks at Northwestern and at Navy...The last time Duke was at historical .500 was in 1930 when they were 39-39-1 following an 18-0 win at Navy on 10/30.
High Water Mark: On 10/9/65 Duke was 142 games above .500 - 271-129-20 - following a 21-13 win vs. Pitt. They would go on to lose four straight.
Next Loss: at Northwestern

4. Temple (0-2; lost to Buffalo 42-7)
Mitigating Factors: Owls, hoping to stay in B-10 title hunt should favorites stumble and win, get first must lose game out of the way against traditional B-10 power...Owls rank 100th or worse in eight official NCAA stat categories, though 19 rushing yards per game and 13 points per game still better than Notre Dame.
Hey, Who Let Them In: Mid-America Conference, seeing the Big East's point, already looking to ship Owls to Sun Belt Conference.
Next Loss: at UConn

5. Sun Belt Conference (0-7 non-conference)
Mitigating Factors: Conference now 0-13 non-conference in 2007...Offenses not too bad, averaging 24.14 ppg last weekend, but defense couldn't stop a powder puff team, giving up an average of 44.28 ppg...Though conference has only played 15 games, fewest amongst I-A conferences, they have already given up 7,088 yards, an average of 472.53 ypg.
That Which Does Not Kill Me Merely Extends A Losing Streak: This week isn't going to be any better with Minnesota, Miami, LSU and Texas A&M on the schedule.

6. Florida International (0-2; lost to Maryland 26-10)
Mitigating Factors: Golden Panthers produce historic balanced attack in 14th straight loss by passing for 81 yards and rushing for 82...Defense chips in, giving up 135 yards on the ground and in the air...Scoring balanced too, as FIU manages to score in even numbered quarters, not score in odd numbered quarters.
Touchdown Jesus Giveth, Touchdown Jesus Taketh Away: FIU is next-to-last and ahead of Notre Dame in Total Offense (138.5 ypg) and dead last, and therefore behind Notre Dame, in Scoring Offense (5.0 ppg).
Next Loss: Miami

7. Rice (0-2; lost to Baylor 42-17)
Mitigating Factors: Rice proves bowl bid last year was complete fluke, losing to Baylor team that itself had lost five in a row...Owls have started season with losing streaks of at least four games in four of the past five years...Owls never in it, allowing Baylor, who got only 281 yards vs. TCU, 521 total yards and touchdowns on their first four possessions.
What Might Have Been: Owls capable of special season, but without victories by Duke, Temple and Game of Century loser, chances of Bottom Ten glory slim.
Next Loss: Texas Tech
 
8. Toronto (0-2; lost to Ottawa 50-7)
Mitigating Factors: Varsity Blues return after one week embargo losing to team actually nicknamed the Gee Gee's...Toronto rushes for 32 yards, half of them on one play...47 yards rushing per game worst in Canada, still exchange-rate adjusted 51ypg better than Notre Dame...43 game losing streak best in North American free trade zone, better than Duke's 22 straight and Tijuana Tech's 27.
Whatever It Takes: Toronto earned moral victory in Week 1 loss to Waterloo by becoming first team in B-10 history to trail 1-0 after the first quarter.
Next Loss: Laurier

9. Buffalo (1-1; defeated Temple 42-7)
Mitigating Factors: Bulls completely lose their mind and score more than 40 points in a game for just the fourth time this century...Still, Pollman not fooled due to fact Temple was the 'opposition'...Bottom Ten Preseason Player of the Year punter Ben Woods kicked a career-low three times, but still managed to go over the five mile mark in career punting yards.
Hey, We're New At This: This from the UB athletic department: Drew Willy's 91% completion percentage is believed to a be a school record for more than 20 attempts in a game, although no formal record is kept. Probably because no UB quarterback has ever completed more than ten percent of his passes in a game.
Next Loss: at Penn State

10. Syracuse (0-2; lost to Iowa 35-0)
Mitigating Factors: Orangemen only debut team this week, having lost three in a row and eight out of nine...Offense ranks higher than Notre Dame in Rushing Offense and Total Offense, below Notre Dame in Scoring offense...Passing game isn't any good either, ranking 106th in NCAA (139 ypg)
Yeah, We Bad: Highest Orangeman national stat ranking is 31st in kickoff returns (24.67 ypr).
Next Loss: Illinois

This Century's Clash of the Titans: #2 Notre Dame at #1 Michigan

Yeah, Whatever: Duke at Northwestern - A game that should have B-10 traditionalists reaching for a tissue barely gets a notice.

Maybe In Basketball Season This Would Be Pretty Good: Illinois at Syracuse

Bonus Points: Pollsters issue themselves kudos for not stealing Steve Harvey's University of Texas at El Intercepted Paso line for UTEP mention.

Comments? Complaints? Recipes?

Return To The Writer's Shack!

Email The Writer's Shack Here!